THE PAIN!!!!!

I don't know why but it just hit me that in about 11 weeks I will be putting my sweet 5 year old on a school bus that will drive away with her...without a seat belt...1/4 mile to her school. Why not just drive her you ask? Apparently you haven't seen the hell that is the carpool line. It starts 45 minutes before school begins and logistically, because there is a median in the road, I will have to travel an extra mile or 2 in the wrong direction to make a U-turn and drive a mile back and then wait in line. For 45 minutes. And Kennen slept in and hasn't had his breakfast yet and he's screaming. For 45 minutes. What's that? Why don't I walk her to school? Ok, now your just being cute. hahahahahaha. That's not happening either. Plus all her little friends are going to ride the bus. I would be hurting her socially if I drove her to school. Right?

I can just see her full of pride and excitement, backpack strapped to her back, phone number and address memorized just in case, feeling like such a big girl. Then the bus will drive away. Then I will wave to her and she will wave back then I will see her little face scrunch up and she will do the 'siren' (you know where the pitch and volume of their cry gradually gets louder and their little mouth is in a perfect circle?.) Reality will set in that she is really driving by herself to school. Without a seat belt. By herself. I know that at this moment I will sprint to the school, hide in the bushes and watch as her teacher fetches her off the bus and makes it all better. Oh Lawd. My heart is breaking at the thought of this.

It will probably be more like preschool where if she catches me peeking in the window at her she will 'shoo' me away with her little hands and if I still don't leave she will come to the door and tell me to "GO-wah! Awaaaaay-uh!"