Monday, April 27, 2009

A rose by any other name...

Guess what I learned today? People no longer 'potty train' their children. Some people are so civilized and stuck up on a high horse that they call it, "potty learning' now. To insinuate that you 'train' your child to do anything is offensive apparently.

But I don't belong to that club. I kick it old school and train my kids, yo. I have even had success with *gasp* spanking a kid that has peed their pants one too many times. That's just how I roll.

The big secret is that Moms, especially stay at home Moms are isolated and we start to feel a little down on ourselves. Since we feel unimportant, we decide to make a big deal out of nothing because we all need something to be passionate about.

It's funny that someone feels the need to stress the point that they are 'potty learning' their child when there are real problems in this world.

*hormonal rant over*

Friday, April 24, 2009

A little late for an Earth Day post

...but this is my blog and I can do whatever i want. I have mentioned a few times that I will be cloth diapering this baby. Most people stare open mouthed in horror and I understand completely. But I have invested my money and now I HAVE to see this thing through. I have all types of diapers and it is turning into an addiction. Jeff keeps getting angry at me for spending so much, but I really have just done him a favor. Since I spent money on these without his blessing, he has ammo for every fight from now until the baby is about 1 years old. By then as long as I have successfully cd this new boy, I will have recouped my original investment. I have pockets, fitteds, and flats as well as todays topic...PREFOLDS!

These are unbleached indian prefolds. (UIPF). I bought them from They are soft and quilty and apparently pretty absorbant. It is basically a huge piece of cloth that is folded so that the diaper is more absorbant in the middle than it is on the sides. This is a 4x8x4 and that is in reference to how many layers of cloth are in each of the 3 sections. I have a dozen:
Sine I don't have a baby to practice on, I am using my old doll. Yes this baby was mine as a child. His name is Matthew and, as you can plainly see, he is a boy. And uncut boy. To strap the diaper onto the baby, first you lay the baby on the diaper so that the rise is in the appropriate spot in the back:
Then you cinch the diaper together in the middle so that it will fit between the babies legs. If you feel so inclined, you could actually roll the sides in instead of folding them. Apparently rolling in the sides creates a better barrier to keep the mess in.
Pull the diaper up between the babys leg, pulling the material tightly:
Fold down the rise to the appropriate height. This flap folded down in the front is actually extra helpful for boys becasue they pee in the front.
Then wrap the wings around to the front of the diaper and snappi it on. The snappi would be the green thing in the diaper. It is a 3 legged replacement for diaper pins. There are clawed teeth on the underside of the snappi that work like an ace bandage clip. I did buy pins but they scare me.
Matthew is free to poop and pee as he pleases now. Not that he can do any such thing, becasue he is just a doll.
Prefold diapers need a cover to be waterproof. Without a cover, your lap and his crib will be flooded after he pees. This one is a Thirsties xs cover. It's made out of PUL which is poly-blah blah blah laminate. It's waterproof.
Strap it on just like a disposable diaper.
Voila! Now Matthew is ready for a nap. Nite nite!
...does is scare you that I play with dolls? Jeff thinks I'm nuts. Kimberly thinks I am lots of fun now.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Answer this riddle...

When is shopping Un-Fun?

When you are 6 months pregnant and shopping for a swimsuit!

I did find something and I brought it home, but I have decided that I am okay with the bottoms, but I hate the top. Well, both tops. I bought two and they are both not good. I had to try on sizes that were big enough for my belly...which made them too big for my boobs. I am returning them tomorrow...but I figured since I was half naked in my bathroom, why not take more belly pics? I think it's been awhile!

These are the bottoms I bought today that I am keeping. This top is actually from Classy Bride and I love it! I have had it for about 5 years now and I have not found a better fitting top for me. When I'm pregnant I have small boobs, and when I'm not pregnant I have zero boobs...but this top somehow makes the most of what I have. The awesome thing about this bikini is that you can have the bottoms customized with Swarovski crystals with your new last name! They are super cute...just click the link and look under 'Just Married Swimwear'.

But this isn't about brides...this is what happens after the wedding. Or before the wedding in my case, lol. When you swell up to the size of a beach ball. Ch-check it out:

I know that all I talk about is the baby, the pregnancy, baby baby baby but well there just isn't much else going on in my brain these days. Soon though, I will show you my new psychotic obsession...cloth diapers.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Another perk of being pregnant the vivid dreams. Some of them are freaky. Like when I was pregnant with Kimberly, I had a dream that Jeff and I sex in a pool. Then a few days later the pool was full of embryos floating in the pool and growing in their amniotic sacs. FREAKY!

But last night's dream was a gift. I dreamt that I was watching home videos of my Dad. Then suddenly I was in the videos again living my life as a child before my parents got divorced and before my Dad died. I was a little girl playing at my neighbors house and I ran home to go see my Dad. He was laying in the grass in the front yard and I had to climb a huge hill to get to him. His eyes were closed and I stopped and started at him for a minute to see if he was alive or dead. All of the sudden, his chest was rising and falling with his breathing and he opened his eyes and called me over to him. I layed my little girl head on his chest and he put his arms around me. I could smell him and I heard his voice. These are two memories that have faded into obscurity in real life. But ever since my dream, I can remember them again.


Friday, April 17, 2009

Susan Boyle - Britains Got Talent 2009 Episode 1 - Saturday 11th April

Absolutely shocking! Team Susan!

Monday, April 13, 2009

How to be a good Texan.

Did you know that Bluebonnets are the state flower here in Texas? Yeah and apparently they are protected and you aren't supposed to pick them. I learned this from my 6 year old when I told her to pick me a flower a few weeks ago. She picked it, gave it to me, then burst into tears. "I'm not supposed to pick bluebonnetssssssss! I will get in trouble! My teacher told me I couldn't!!!" I just patted her condescendingly and said, 'Well you are allowed to when you are with me becaue I am your Mom and I said you could." Then later my friend Patty told me that in fact, my daughter was correct. No picking Bluebonnets. Don't mess with Texas. Oops!

This weekend I convinced my husband to drive all over Texas to find fields of wildflowers. Apparently it is a Texas-y tradition to dress up the kids, pull over onto the side of the freeway and take pictures of your chitlins frolicking in the Bluebonnets. Jeff wasn't very into the whole idea at first and he didn't want to drive 1 1/2 hours northwest to find the best fields of flowers. We are in the far suburbs of Houston and we are just a few miles from 'the country'. He assumed he would satisfy my flower fix with a few pathetic scatters of wildflowers...but no dice. I kept urging him, "Lets go a little farther...just a few more miles! Look the flowers are getting thicker...lets keep going and find some really good ones!"

Eventually we got to Brenham, TX. Home of Bluebell Ice Cream and the best Bluebonnet fields in Texas hill country. We found a field and drove about 1/2 mile back and let the kids run wild. I was in sensory heaven. They flowers are such a brilliant blue and they smelled amazing. Plus the whole place was relatively bug free. I've checked yet another 'Texas' experience off my list. Along with putting huge bows on my daughter and buying a gun...I have now taken the springtime bluebonnet pics. Aren't they amazing?

This is before the $5 footlong...
...and after the $5 footlong!

It was hard to get pictures of Kennen. He kept running at top speed said, "I'm fast-quick!"
I just love this girl. That's all.
Here's my sweet boy. And look! My truck got to take bluebonnet pics too!

What a charming little smile...


Thursday, April 9, 2009

Tantrum over

I took a long hot bath, then I took a long cozy nap...and my perspective on the world is much better now. I think my children and pets are safe from being beaten by their crazy Mommy today. I think what did it is that I woke up to Jeff calling me. He always cheers me up.


Guess what today is folks? Today is listen to me bitch and moan about how fucking pissed off at the world I am right now.

The day started when I woke up in a mutha fucking puddle of mutha fucking pee from my 6 year old. Quit peeing the damn bed! Actually...quit peeing in my bed. What you do with your own sleeping space is up to you. Damn!

Then Kim has the worst sore throat and can't talk or swallow and feels a little warm. How warm? I have no fucking idea because I can't find the thermometer. My kids think they are toys because apparently anything in this house that beeps when you push a mutha fucking button belongs to them. So yeah, she is home from school laying pathetically on the sofa and moaning. Ugh. I call the pediatrician and they can see her today at 10:30. Sweet! This means that I can have a talk with the pediatrician about how shitty I think she has been lately and how much it sucks to fork over $100 for the 30 it takes to scribble down a prescription.

Then we are getting into the truck and Kennen can't find his damn shoes. Granted he only has 2 pairs...but that means that he has completely lost 4 fucking shoes! In a last ditch effort to try to make it to my appointment on time, I make him wear Kim's flip flops. The little turd is very happy with this solution. He is such a cute little turd.

I didn't get my chance to have a heart to heart with the Dr. though. I was hopeful becasue the doc actually looked in Kim's throat. But then when she went to check her ears and nose, she waved her little lighted wand around like Harry Potter trying to do a Wingardium Leviosa. She might have flashed the light into the general direction of her ears and nose...but she by no means looked into her ears or up her nose. To call her out on her bullshit magic trickery of parents of tiny patients, I said, "Oh's she's been saying she's dizzy do her ears look?"

"Oh...uh she has some fluid but it's not a big deal." bullshit she has fluid in her ears. The doc didn't even look! Rawr! Then she whirled out of the room.

Then I drop off the prescription. The lady at Walgreens said it will be 1 1/2 hours. Fine. What-fucking-ever. I go back 2 hours later and she says..."Okay, just hold on one minute while I mix up the medicine for you." WHAT THE FUCK HAVE Y'ALL BEEN DOING FOR THE LAST 2 HOURS? Why couldn't I have waited 'just a minute' for you to mix it up 2 hours ago? Bitches.

And my dog peed on the carpet. Again. Bitch.