Tuesday, March 31, 2009

facebook fun

I love facebook! It has almost replaced email for me...and probably blogging as well. All of my friends on my street are on it, as well as their husbands. Jeff has always scoffed at me when I was on myspace, but now that other thirty-something professional men that he considers friends are on facebook, he wanted a page as well. I helped him set it up one night and he really liked it becasue he got to reconnect with people he hasn't seen or heard from in years. Yes yes, facebook is fun.

Well he never checks it...like ever! I literally have to log him in and put my laptop in his lap for him to catch up on his page. He says that he spends all day looking at the computer and he just doesn't want to be online when he is at home. Whatevz...

I sent him a facebook message awhile ago and he never read it or responded to it. Apparently unless an email is routed through his blackberry, he will never ever see it. I logged into his page today and he had 2 messages from the same girl! Hee hee, the first was was a, "Hello there old friend," and the second one was a , "WTF? Why wont you message me back!"

LMAO! I want to message her back, "Don't hate the player, hate the game."

Monday, March 30, 2009

It has been way too long!

I am intimidated with my long list of stories so, as I do with laundry, I avoid blogging. But today I did 5 loads of laundry, plus I ironed Jeffs work shirts...so I think I can write a little too.

The big news is that my husband has come up with a name for the baby. Are you ready? Are you sure? Can you handle it? Da-da-da-duhhhhhhhh: It's Levi.


I was all ready to be a nice wife and let my husband name this baby but I do not have good associations with the name. I think of a toothless tweeker working in a dusty mechanics shop in A.J. That is Apache Junction to all of you non-Arizona dwellers. To be fair, A.J. is no longer the shit hole it used to be...but I have not lived in the valley of the sun for 5 years now so A.J. will always be a big sand pit with bikers, a huge porn shop, and and tweekers named Levi.

Levi *mylastname*. nah...I just don't like it. The only thing I like about it is that it is Old Testamenty...but it just doesn't excite me the way Jonah does. Oh and if we name him Jonah, then I can decorate his nursery with whales! How cute would that be! I can make an Uppercase Living phrase that says, "Jonah and the Whale." Hee hee, I luvs it.

In other news, my tits need their own area code. Okay so they aren't huge by normal peoples standards...but they are friggin huge for me! They look like big perfectly round implants. They are lovely but I am kind of sick of them. They get in the way and they make me feel fat. Although, nothing makes me feel as fat as my tummy! Oh lawsie mercy it is getting big. I know, I need to take another picture. I took one for my friend Sara because she bugs me for one every time I talk to her. But I can't show you because it is half-nakey. Yep, I texted a half-nakey pic of my baby belly...Sara could sell it and make millions. Or at least $50 bucks.

So these are the fascinating things that are going on in my life. Gotta go take Kim to soccer practice! I Love those of you that still read this! :D

Monday, March 23, 2009

Out of town visitors

My in laws visited me and the family this week. Kennen turned 4 on Tuesday and his party was on Saturday so it was a fun filled week of cake, presents and more presents. It was a really great trip and it was nice to be able to sleep in and read 700 pages into my book of the moment, "The Pillars of the Earth."

While they were here though, my MIL sort of tip toed around the question of when a good time would be to come and visit after baby #3 is born. My Mom is coming out for a week to 10 days and we are hoping to schedule that time so she is here a few days before I give birth (so she can help me catch up on laundry, lol) and to spend the majority of her time here taking care of me after delivery. I shudder at the though of having anyone here other than my Mom. She has seen me give birth, seen me topless while trying to breastfeed, seen me tired and cranky and hormonal.

She is a different kind of grandma. She loves the kids, but truth be told...she loves me the most. :D She is the only person on the planet that is 100% dedicated to my needs. She is a woman after my very own heart. She likes to wake up early in the morning and drink coffee...in silence! It is not that I am particularly grumpy in the morning, but I just want to sit and stare at the wall while I wake up and she is the same way. I suppose it is just becasue she raised me. But it is more than that. We are mother and daughter...but we are kindred spirits as well. I thank God that he chose her to be my mother. Even the situations of my childhood weren't ideal (alcoholic abusive father, raised by a single mom, my dad dies, I smoked a lot of pot and moved out when I was 18 with no plans of college, yadda yadda yadda) my Mom was ideal. She is so wise and is my mentor in life.

Wow, long tangent! Anyway I wanted to share an essay with you from a girl on my baby message boards. Even though the birth of a child seems like it would be a beautiful moment to share with family...there is a dark side. A bloody hoo-ha, leaky boobed, huge hormonal shifting aspect of childbirth that a new Mom doesn't want to share. I will let the essay from Sharon1964 elaborate:

What Happens After Birth

You will be leaking out of places you don't want to leak out of. Do you really want to stand up from the couch and have your husband's grandpa and his sister's boyfriends see that not only have you bled through your pad, but the blood is now running down your leg. Do you really want to say, "honey, can you come with me to the bathroom, I am bleeding all over and I feel a huge bloodclot coming out"... in front of this gang of people? Contrast that to "mom, I need your help please, now, I'm bleeding all over!" Does your husband really understand the volume of stuff that will be coming out of you, the possibility of lemon-sized clots of blood? Not 2-dimensional lemon-sized, but huge, round, 3-dimensional lemon-sized?

ow many bathrooms do you have? If only one, do you REALLY want to have to make it "guest-level clean" every time you leave it? Do you really want this gang of people ogling your diaper-sized pads, peribottle, tucks pads, and all the other supplies that will be in the bathroom? Even if you have two bathrooms, that means you can't use the main bathroom, because you still have to leave it "guest-level clean" every time you use it.

Do they really plan to do something other than hold the baby, pass the baby around, and sit around expecting you guys to wait on them? Are they going to sit and stare at you? Thirty minutes after they arrive, and baby wants to breastfeed, are they going to quickly and willingly LEAVE your home so that you can breastfeed in the privacy and comfort of your space? Or are they going to hang around outside, waiting for you to be done, and knocking every so often wanting to know if they can come back in? Yeah, that's great for breastfeeding.

Or better yet, are they going to blow you off, saying "it's no big deal", and expect you to breastfeed in front of them? Even experienced moms need several weeks of practice to get good at it, so to speak, so that they can breastfeed wherever they want. Learning to breastfeed is not a time for people to ogle and stare at you.

When your breasts are engorged and painful and you want NOTHING to touch them, what then? Does your dh think it will be okay for his mother, sisters, boyfriends, and grandpa to stare at your huge naked breasts as you walk around topless?

What if your birth is smack in the middle of their trip? So what are they going to do the first few days, before baby? Are they going to sit and stare at you, waiting for the big moment? Then what? Are they going to camp out in your hospital room every day, all day? Yeah, that's great for resting. What happens when you leave the hospital and they beat you to your own home, and all you want to do is lay down in your own bed? Are they going to leave graciously, or are they going to sit in your living room, eating your food, messing up your house, and making noise, so you can't nap?

Does your DH normally allow people to invite themselves over to visit you guys without even ASKING? You guys are setting yourselves up for a lifetime of this. Then you will be blamed when you try to tell them that it is not a good time for you.

Does your DH understand ANY of these things?? Does he not understand that it is NOT about entertaining guests, but about recovery from a major medical procedure (either vaginal or c-section)? Does he not understand that you just grew another human being in your body, and will have just gone through the process of getting it out?? This is going to be an exhausting, messy, wildly hormonal time. Does he not get that??


Tuesday, March 17, 2009


I just looked back at my blog archives at my 5 week and 6 week tummy. I miss it and I think I am going to cry now.

The other day I was shopping with my friends and taking advantage of a 30% off coupon at Old Navy. Yep, Old Navy...i'm big time. I was contemplating buying this white top in size XXL. I tried it on and I was swimming in it, but it has that flowy peasant top feel so I could get away with wearing it now. I was thinking of putting it back and my friend Laura gently said, "Remember that you are going to get bigger than you can even imagine right now." Then she laughed as she recounted thinking that she bought a shirt that was big enough...only to outgrow it before her due date. OMFG I am going to be as big as a house. In the summer. Oh, and I'm over six feet tall.

Have you ever seen that movie, Deuce Bigelow, male gigilo? All I can think of is, "That's a huge bitch!"

sigh. I wonder what this pregnancy will do to my body.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

When you hear....

...Caleb, what kind of person do you think of?

When you hear Jonah, what kind of person to you think of?

And when you think of Owen, what kind of person do you think of?

I like all of these names in no particular order...and Jeff tolerates them which is apparently the best I can get out of him. The only other name contribution I have from him is Mattias and Magnus. And yes he is serious. So think about it. Ponder it. Leave feedback.

Caleb Jack (Lastname)

Jonah Jacob (Lastname)

Owen Jacob (Lastname)


Sunday, March 8, 2009

Conversation with the hubs...

I walked in front of him to sit down and watch the UFC fight last night.

"Damn Baby! Your belly is getting so big! You look so pregnant!"

Me: "I don't mind if my belly gets big, just as long as my ass doesn't get bigger."

Jeff: silence...and then, "Well sorry to break it to you, but you are pregnant so your ass is going to get bigger."

Me: "Nope!"

a few moments for me to think...then I said, "Wait...is my ass bigger already???!!!???"

Jeff: "Yeah it's bigger!"

Me: "Nooooooo!"

Maybe I should start exercising.

Nah. I'm going to embrace the cellulite. Is the the beginning of letting myself go?

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Kim's first soccer game!

I have a 6 year old...and she plays soccer. See? Isn't she sweaty and cute? And HAPPY???? She chased that damn ball all over the field and I don't think the smile ever went from her face.
What a little honey...
The uniforms this year are Gray! The coach said she was disappointed in the color but I think it is really cute. The girls took a vote at the last practice and decided to be 'The Gray Dolphins'.

She is getting much better control of the ball just after a few practices...

I love that she is finally involved in team sports. I'm trying to see if I can find that competitive edge in her...

She looks so much like her father in this picture!!!

But she looks a little like my child in this one. Go Kimmy Go!

Do you like my pictures? I have my friend Laura to thank! I was a slacker Mommy and forgot my camera but she saved the day and took these plus more. I love my neighbors. They showed up and helped me cheer on my little sporty girl. I did get a 'talking to' by Kim...she said I embarrassed her because I was yelling too much. Oops! I will try not to scream like a maniac next game. At one point I was so engrossed in the game that Kennen snuck away. I didn't even realize he was gone until one of Kim's team mates kicked the ball into the goal...and hit Kennen! The ball sort of bounced off him but he thought fast and pushed the farther into the goal...not that we are keeping score. Not like we won 11-4...because this is just for fun...heh.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

I've calmed down.

Okay so my panties aren't in a bind anymore over dumbass flighty Jason. He and Molly did look happy on "After the Rose part 2". I just hope that sweet Melissa finds true love where someone is ready to proclaim his love from the mountain tops...and actually mean it. And actually follow through with the actions and devotion that goes with those words.

Jeff actually gave me a guys point of view. He said, "What if they just had really bad sex?" Hmmmm. Yep. That would be a deal breaker for me, lol. I doubt it is the case though. Melissa seems like a giving girl who was ready to make Jason happy. I don't exactly get the 'cold fish' vibe from her. But maybe their personal chemistry was just not there. Hmmm.

Onto more important things...like the baby baby baby, oh baby! He is kicking me like crazy. They are still soft little taps but they warm my heart and reassure me that he is okay. Have you ever won a goldfish at a carnival? The crazy Carnie hands you your plastic bag filled with water and tightly sealed with the fish inside. Every so often the fish will swim into the side of the bag and you feel that squirmy little tap...that's what it feels like at this point. Or when you pop a bag of popcorn and you pull the bag out of the microwave and those last few kernels pop...it feels like that too.

I called the Dr. to get the results of my Nuchal Translucency scan and my bloodwork and the girl in medical records said she will just mail me a copy. Gulp. Something about how she wouldn't tell me over the phone if everything is okay or not makes me nervous. This test is for the likelyhood of my child having Downs Syndrome and a list of other syndromes that I don't even know the names of. I believe that God wont give me more than I can handle though and until there is a definitive problem, I'm not going to waste my energy feeling anxious over it. I'm anxious enough in my day to day life!

Monday, March 2, 2009

The Bachelor...*spolier*

...is the biggest douchbag in the fucking universe! Can you believe that Jason chooses Melissa...and then 6 fucking weeks later he is giving up and telling Molly that she is the one? Oh wait...you still want the other girl? The girl you DIDN'T choose? You don't want to perhaps hold out and see how it goes after 6 weeks?

Jason must have completely warped ideas about love and marriage. He is fickle and all of his crying makes me want to fucking puke! He cries over Molly. Then he gets engaged to Melissa. Then he dumps Melissa on live tv in hopes that Molly will give him another chance. Before Molly comes on the set, he cries his crocodile tears over Melissa. What a circus! I was praying that Molly would see through all of his, "This is how my heart feels" bullshit.

He didn't see her as the treasure that she is when he had her...why would she want to give herself to him again? She can't trust him not to kick her in the teeth again. He doesn't deserve her. I dunno, I suppose I am too proud to be someones second choice.

Plus...he has a kid! He keeps running these chicks in and out of Ty's life becasue of his fickle heart. Idiot. Plus being on the bachelor has given him a hugely overinflated ego. He's not that hot and he has baggage (baby mama drama). I'm not saying that a person with children is doomed to be single forever but maybe he needs to come down out of the clouds and come back to real life where 24 year old girls aren't lining up to be step moms.

Jason definitely wins doucebag of the year award.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

I have cellulite on my knees and crumbs in my bra.

I think this means I'm pregnant.

Did y'all see Big Love tonight??? I don't want to ruin it for you if you have it tivo'd and have not watched it yet but dayum! My favorite sister wife had an unfortunate incident with her braid. Seriously. And Nikki! What a slut! Hmmm...oh and I miss Margenes blonde hair. I shouldn't be the only one walking around with brown roots.

That's all. I have been such a shitty ass blogger and all I ever want to talk about is the baby. The baby baby baby. The baby has been kicking me! The baby has a nice big stash of cloth diapers and nobody thinks I will be able to actually wash them. I understand their concern...you should see my laundry pile. But I must admit that even when I didn't feel like doing dishes, I always washed my breast pump and all of the bottles. I just worked around the dishes still lying in the sink from last night. :D

Speaking of dishes...I have the best little girl. I made a pot roast tonight with mashed potatoes and i was feeling all Suzy homemaker-y. Just as I was setting the table, I noticed that both my boys were sleeping! Jeff was passed out on the couch and Kennen was passed out in the recliner. I tried to wake up Jeff but he wasn't impressed with my 'Sunday dinner' and kept sleeping. Ah well. That's the great thing about having a 6 year old. She makes a great dinner companion. I pulled out the crystal wine glasses and filled them with water and lit a candle. Kimberly and I chatted over dinner and I watched her as she carefully ate her mashed potatoes without disrupting the well of gravy in the middle Sweet baby. After dinner I gave her some tupperware to clean up the serving bowls while I washed the dishes. She did a great job and even used glass cleaner on the table top to finish the job right! I just love that little girl.

Ugh, look there I go...getting all 'Mommy Blog' on you. I can't help it. Being pregnant makes me all sensitive and nesty. I love my little chicks.