Sunday, December 30, 2007

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Whew I guess time flies when you are having fun! Christmas was great. On Christmas Eve we drove around and looked at Christmas lights with the kiddos. They went right to bed when we got home which made Mr. and Mrs. Claus's job much easier! We took big bites out of the cookies Kim decorated and Jeff and I stacked up gifts around the tree before we drank spiked egg nog and watched 'A Christmas Story'. :) That movie will *never* get old for me.

Christmas morning was magical. The kids really do make the holiday worthwhile...their excitement was palpable. I love Kimberly's Baby Alive doll. She is a little scary but I have this obsession with babies and she feels very real. Oh, and she poops! It's so gross but so funny. Kennen is loving his new tiny acoustic guitar. Jeff and I have no idea how to tune the damn thing but Kennen actually makes pleasant sounds with it. It cute watching a little blonde boy walking around with a guitar strapped onto his body. :)

The kids got a ton of presents this year, thank you Grandma, Grandpa, Grandma, Grandpa, and Uncle Geno.

Here are some pics from Christmas morning:

Kennen is just getting started:
What is that buddy? "uh-tar" A what? "UH-TAR!"
Kimmy-girl rockin' the bed head.
Her American Girl doll made out pretty well this Christmas!
Me and my girls. I swear I'm not choking the dog.
Oh boy.

This new years is going to be really fun!
We have the beginning of our arsenal of fireworks because I got Jeff a bunch for Christmas. He saw the big wrapped box and was kind of annoyed. He is a simple man. He said there is nothing that he wants. On his birthday last month, I bought him a dart board. He thought it was totally lame even when I told him he and his buddies can drink beer in the garage and play darts. He kind of nodded and smiled but he was so unimpressed. For Christmas I really wanted to surprise him with something he would actually like and use. He is jewish and has the whole, 'I'm the only kid on the block without a christmas tree' syndrome and he is a little jaded about the whole Christmas thing. I think it's just because he hasn't felt the magic himself. I took it upon myself to really make sparks fly! I mean, I really want him to be like, Ka-boom! Cool gift! Okay...enough with the sad attempt at puns.

Ch-check out the video below of Jeff opening his firecrackers! Ladies and gentlemen, this is 'surprised and happy that my gift doesn't suck Jeff':

My little baby is a firecracker!

Sunday, December 23, 2007


Today we had our first annual neighborhood gift exchange! We created this gift exchange because last year was so incredibly over the top. Jeff and I bought gifts for every child and every adult in each household that we were friends with. Ka-ching!

This year we did it right. Me and my friends all left the kids at home with the dads to orchestrate the super secret gift exchange for the children. Basically we got dressed up and went out for margaritas. We each made 6 ornaments and we exchanged them and we each came home with a handmade treasure from each of the the families. For the kids we drew names to buy $10 gifts. For the Dads? Well, they each got delivered a drunk wife at the end of the night, so make of that what you will. :) Except for Kempy. She is incubating Baby D right now so she stuck to water all night like a good Mama.

Tonight Laurie put together the soiree and it was really fun! There was a buzz in the air that only kids anticipating Christmas gifts can create. It *almost* filled me with Christmas cheer. But the food, wine and company were great! I'm looking to many more SBHL/RFL parties in the future!

Before we went to Lauries, we were buslting about the house getting ready. Kimberly and I went into my bathroom to do our hair. Kimberly said, "Mom, Kennen went into the closet (where the presents are tucked away) and I made him get out and I shut the door." This is where I used my scary stealth investigative skills and gasped, "You PEEKED at your presents!" She shook her little head (pony tails shaking too) and said, "No it was Kennen!" Then I said, "Kimberly..."

With that she hung her head and big fat guilty tears fell down her face. She saw a pink princess castle alarm clock that my Mom had sent for me to wrap for her. Oops, I guess I should have hidden it better. I kept drilling her to see if she saw anything else and all my crafty girl said was, "I don't want to remember. I forgot what I saw. It will be a surprise." Little love. I knew she was beating herself up more than I could if I punished her so I chalked it up to a lesson learned. I think she saw another big thing my Mom sent...a toy scooter for an American Girl doll to ride. She has been wanting this for a long time. I hope she didn't...Kimberly wishes she hadn't seen it. We both want to have a magical morning so our story is, "What scooter?"

Works for me.

Friday, December 21, 2007

Murphy's Law

I have been shampooing my carpet over the last two days. I borrowed Keikicakes carpet shampooer and it rocks! It's big and it's a hoover...that's all I know about it. My carpet actually stands up again and is soft to walk on. I didn't realize how 'crunchy' it had gotten over the last year and a half. Yes, I hang my head in shame...I've not had my carpet shampooed since we moved in. In my defense though, the main living areas are wood and tile and it's just the bedrooms that are carpet. Still though, it was time.

So I get everything clean and all the stains out and literally within hours, The dog peed in the gameroom, Kimberly spilled chocolate milk in my bedroom, and then I woke up at 5:00am to the dog squirting diarrhea all over the floor and barking frantically! I was pissed off at first but then I saw her sad little doggy face. She was so scared she was in trouble but you could tell she was just not feeling well. :( Poor puppy.

So I cleaned it up and OMG! So fucking gross. I guess that's what I get for thinking that I am a person that is capable of having clean carpet. :D

I have a few more things to do before my in-laws come but I am getting there! This weekend I am going to bake cookies and then Monday is Christmas Eve and then on Tuesday the paper flies! Yipee!

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Preschool party!

Well I pulled it off. Kennen's preschool party was organized and fun and went off without a hitch.

Oh, and there was a Mom there that had a boy in Kennen's class, plus a 10 month old boy and they were both crying and clinging to her and she looked like she was about to shot-put them both across the room. I, being the baby hog that I am, took the baby boy and introduced him to the toy kitchen on the other side of the room. He stopped crying and was infatuated with putting food in and out of the microwave and feeding the baby in the highchair. Once the Mom got the bigger boy to calm down, she came and sat by the baby and said, "Thank you" in a way that said, "You are dismissed, now get your paws off my baby."

Gah, I guess this means I need to have another baby of my own and quit borrowing other people babies. Or not...I just can't decide.

The best part was the music program that the kids performed for the parents. I am shocked that nobody cried and made a beeline for their Mom. I'm even more surprised that Kennen not only didn't cry, but he participated and knew the choreography to the songs.I took some videos of Kennen doing his thang at the preschool x-mas program...he sang "God is BIG", Jesus made my fingers, a classic rendition of Jingle Bells, and my personal favorite...a Wiggles song!

I know that nobody else cares to watch my sons preschool video but it is short so please humor me. Isn't he the sweetest little soul?

This is for all you Wiggle fans out there!

p.s. I don't know why I insist on shrieking and cackling on video but apparently I can't help it.

Preschool Christmas Program

Monday, December 17, 2007


Don't you just hate it when you look at your calendar for the day and it says "9:00am" in the square for today but you have no idea who or what was supposed to happen at 9:00am that day?


I'm so groovy

Well, here come the holidays again and I have been completely stumped on what to get Jeff for Christmas. Why is it that we have been married just a month shy of 6 years and I have no idea what to get this man. He is my best friend...why am I so completely clueless about what would really make him smile on Christmas morning? I could tie a bow around myself and wake him up with a smile, but seriously after 6 years it's kind of like, been there...done that. I want him to know he is appreciated. I want him see a gift under the tree for him and feel surprised and excited while opening it...and not be disappointed with what he gets.

There is really not any 'thing' that he wants other than more fishing shit. But there are only so many Bass Pro gift cards I could give him. Oh, and another thing is that a gift card is so lame coming from me to him because he makes all the money.

But the other day, it hit me. The PERFECT gift. I'm soooooo excited, tee hee! But it's a secret and I can't tell you. Here are a few clues though. First of all, have you ever read that book, 'The 5 love languages?' Well, I'm a nerd and I have and Jeff's love language is 'acts of service'. (the other love languages are gifts, physical touch, something else and mine which is quality time.) And he shows love and appreciation with acts of service too. This perfect gift that I've chosen for him will make his face light up like a roman candle on Christmas morning and plus, it is something that he will be able to share with his friends and family. I totally rock. :D

Oh, I have another car related story. I went to the mall yesterday and I stopped at the ATM to pull out some money. As I was driving away, I went to roll up my window and I BROKE the little switch, like I pulled up on the lever and something snapped and the tension went slack on the window roll up button. I, in true Stella form, started to cry. Then I remembered that my car was just a machine and it wasn't personal so I put on my big girl pants and dealt with it. I left a note on my steering wheel that said, 'Please don't steal me,' and I took the kids to the mall anyway. Jeff looked at it when I got home and told me to just take it to our mechanic in the morning. Then this morning I was driving and it is bitterly cold out. Without even thinking, I tried rolling up the window and it worked! How about that? I think it's my cars way of saying, 'Merry Christmas'. Oh wait, it's just a machine right. Cars don't say merry christmas.

Now I just have to remember to never roll down my window again.

Friday, December 14, 2007

Strongest fish ever

Yesterday I was freezing so I took a long hot shower while Kennen was watching cartoons. After my shower, we played in my room for a little while, then he told me he was hungry.

We went to the kitchen and I made 2 burritos and then went to feed the fish at the same time. Apparently Kennen had tried to feed the fish too. Or maybe he was just trying to kill them. He was a little fuzzy on the details. He had poured half a bottle of Wesson vegetable oil into the bowl and then topped it off with a few scoops of flour(!). Then he stirred the whole concoction up with a 9 inch chef knife.

I am absolutely amazed that the fish are still alive. They were swimming at the bottom of the bowl where the water was still a little clear. I scooped them out into fresh water and now they are doing well. Those poor fishies! It makes sense now that a little girl was the mortal enemy in Finding Nemo.

The good thing about this is that when I yelled at my son he didn't cry hysterically. He just glared at me with this look that said, 'Are you done yet?' Then he hugged my leg and gave me an insincere "Sorry Mommy." Operation toughen up my son is apparently working.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Dancing Jews

Yesterday Jeff came home with a hallmark card that played some song about menorahs, latkes and dancing the horah (sp?). The kids loved it and that darn card became the toy of the night.

Watch at the end of the first video as Kimmy-girl goes bouncing by...that kid cracks me up!

Check out the videos below, but please turn down the volume...Mama gets a little bit shrill. Hee hee.

Kennen talking, Kim being a goofball

Notice the dog walk by in the background...yes she is wearing a blue shirt, thank you Kimmy-girl.

Interpretive dance?

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Preschool Christmas Party Activity

Okay, I'm actually using my blog as a journal right now to organize my thoughts. This next dull post is in no way meant to entertain you. You have been warned.

For Kennens preschool Christmas party, I think I am going to have the kids do a gift exchange. I was thinking of asking the each parent for $3 for pizza or happy meals, but those two things dont really say 'Christmas' to me. Presents say Christmas to me. That and baby Jesus. 8lbs 6oz baby Jesus.

Instead of pizza, I will have the teachers send home a note with the kids that says 'Come to our Christmas party on Wednesday and bring a wrapped $2-$5 gift for your child to exchange with their friends.' I will also go in a few days before the party for the kids to make homemade 'wrapping paper' with paint and handprints on paper lunch bags. These lunchbags will hold the picture ornaments that I made with popsicle sticks and starlight mints. The kids can then give these 'wrapped' gifts to their Mommy on party day. Oh, and I think for the gift exchange, I will have the kids do musical chairs and each child that is 'out' will get to choose a gift from the table.

Here are some pics of the ornaments that I made:

I didn't like the way the gold turned out in Kennens ornament, so I made the rest of them red. The ornament below is going to be filled with a picture of one of Kennen's classmates, but I need to re-order the pictures from Walgreens. Kennen took the prints I had and chopped them up into tiny little pieces. Tell me how you really feel about your little friends buddy!:

I thought about taking the wrappers off the mints. But I know how Kennen tries to eat everything...even if it's hot glued down, so I decided to keep 'em wrapped. Cute, huh? Who is a totally crafty suburban Mom? This girl!

Because it's her favorite color?

Ugh, Kimberly has pinkeye again. AGAIN! Oy vay!

Bad news is that I'm scared I'm going to get it. Ewey eweeeewwwwwwwwwwww! Good news is that she is here to keep her brother occupied. :) And I am going to send them upstairs to clean their rooms. I really don't have much faith in it being 'clean' but maybe they will surprise me. It's time to toss out more toys anyway to make room for Christmas presents.

While they are doing that, i'm going to wrap presents and oh, get this! I am literally one load away from completely slaying my laundry monster! I'm doing a happy dance as we speak.

I'm going to sweep, mop and vacuum the floors today too. Isn't my life totally fucking fascinating?

Tonight is the last night of Hanukkah and then Christmas is only 14 days away! Yipee!

Monday, December 10, 2007

Bung Chow

So I have major writers block and every time I sit down to write, I draw a blank. I think I'm too stressed out about the holidays or something. To find inspiration, I perused through all of the pictures I have saved on my computer. I found pics from a party we had a few months ago when my good friend Patty was in rare form. She is too cute to keep these pics private, so here they Bung Chow!

She is a mother:

A friend:

A, um...wife...get a room you crazy kids!

And just an all around fun girl!

And she even tolerates my husband that nick named her Bung Chow.

I'm really not sure where or when she earned her nickname. But it's her moniker and even Kennen calls her 'Chow'. She is a great friend and a great neighbor. She can always be relied on for a cup of sugar...or a beer. She keeps a well stocked fridge. :) She is a giver and always puts others first. Patty you so totally rock!

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Am I too sensitive?

Tonight was gymnastics night for Kimberly. I had Kennen with me and he was being a stinker. Actually he was being well behaved for a 2 year old but he got hurt and was upset about that, and then he was upset that I wouldn't let him eat teddy grahams off the floor. Anyway, whenever he gets upset his speech regresses. I have finally been able to get him to use proper consonants but tonight he was a whiny ass vowel using boy. Uh eeeeeeiieieii uh uh oooohhh. I tried correcting him the way my SLP taught me. I break down the word, I delete a consonant if there are two next each other, for example he needs to say "dow" for down. But he was saying "OW! Owwwwwwwwww!" So annoying. I wasn't going to force the issue while I was trying to keep him quiet during Kim's class so I just played sodoku and ignored him as he went off on his vowel monologue.

As annoying as this was, there was a lady next to me that kept trying to talk to Kennen. She would smile at him but he would just scowl and look away. Ugh, lady please leave him alone, he is in a mood tonight. I didn't say anything, I just minded my own business in hopes that she would mind her own business. Instead she started chatting up the lady next to her about how she went to a seminar this weekend about autism spectrum disorders. It was FASCINATING! She learned so much about Speech Language Pathology and the Kaufman method! She was sooo relieved to learn that her son didn't fall into the autism spectrum. He made eye contact and had interpersonal relationships! Oh Lordy me.

I was pissed. Maybe she just so happened to remember that she just learned everything there is to know about developmental delays, but maybe she was judging my son speaking in vowels. Maybe she tried to make eye contact to diagnose autism. Maybe she spoke loudly of her newly found wealth of information to pique my interest and find out what was wrong with my son. I took some deep breaths and let my frustration fade. I know my child. I have worked my ass off for a year jumping through hoops to try to get him to talk. Now we are even adding occupational therapy, which by the way has really helped him with new words. My child is beautiful and I don't have to explain his 'issues' to a stranger that notices them.

It's cool though. My son is potty trained and her son was older and in pull-ups. >:)

I'm so excited!

I just bought tickets for Kimberly and I to go to the Nutcracker this weekend! She has no idea and I can't wait to surprise her with it! Tee hee, it's moments like these that I'm glad I have a daughter. Or, I guess it's moments like these that Jeff is glad we have a daughter, otherwise I would drag him to the Nutcracker. We are sitting in the first row of the balcony. Apparently these are the 'cheap seats' but I love sitting up high. I think it adds to the experience and I think it will be fun for Kim to be able to see everything and be able to look over the ledge. My cousin once took me to Phantom of the Opera in AZ and we had first row balcony seats and I really felt like I had the best seat in the house. Anyway, tickets were only $12/person so now I will have a little extra to buy Kimmy-girl something in the gift shop. A little Clara holding a nutcracker? An evil mouse king for Kennen?

Tuesday, December 4, 2007


Tonight at sundown Hanukkah began and we (I) made latkes and we (I) ate them. My Mom called while I was trying to feed them to my kids. I had to speak loudly over their whining, but I did manage to apologize to my Mom for ever having turned up my nose at any meal she prepared for me. She told me that I was a good kid. And that I was potty trained at 18 months. :D I think she chooses to sprinkle fairy sparkle dust over her memories because I was punk to her when she came home from working a long day and I wet the bed until I was 6. Okay, 7.

Jeff didn't eat any latkes because he is back at old faithful...the low carb diet. So it was Happy Hanukkah to me. I bought the kids webkinz because they came out with a Reindeer and a Penguin! The Penguin waddles! Too cute! And the reindeer came with Santa's sled. How fun is that? I do have to vent that the webkinz online menorah did not light tonight at sundown. Hopefully this is only from the confusion of the dates. Hanukkah is listed on any calendar as starting on the 5th, but really that means it starts at sundown on the 4th. Make sense? Yeah, I don't get it either but I am going with the flow.

I have an old book that my mother in law gave me called, "Across the Threshold." I love this time of year, because after I pull it out for the latke recipes, I love to peruse the pages. The Jewish religion, while full of deep traditions, is quite practical. There is this website called JewFAQ (which my sister in law thinks is hilarious btw) and it really gave me a better understanding of not only what the jewish traditions are, but why they do them. It really is a sensible religion. No vague and confusing, 'died on the cross for your sins,' talk. I really don't understand what a man dying on the cross 2000 years ago has to do with my sins. It just seems 'magical' and I dont get it. Judaism makes sense to me.

Ugh, I'm too tired to come up with a clincher for my blog. Oh wait, here's one...Peace out yo'!

Saturday, December 1, 2007

Everything is bigger in Texas

including my Christmas tree. It was labeled a 7-8 foot tree, but I think it had an unfortunate accident where its pointy top was cropped. It is 6 feet in diameter and maybe 8 feet tall. It's roly-poly. And it makes my heart beat with holiday happiness.

I picked out my tree and I was so excited. It was so full and it looked huge for a 7-8 foot tree and even the guy there was like, 'Whoa'. After I got it home, I realized that my tree stand wouldn't fit my mammoth tree trunk so I had to go back to H.D. And then Kennen fell asleep in the car in the 3 minutes it took to get there.

Home Depot has their tree selling station in the parking lot, so I drove up, picked out a tree stand (that fits up to a 12 foot tree) and asked the lady if I could pay for it there. In the meanest, most hateful voice she could muster she said, "We don't have a way to take your money. You can pay for it in the garden center". Shit. Kennen was asleep in the car. I didn't want to wake him but I couldn't walk away and leave him. She sighed and turned her back to me and ignored me while I tried to get her attention to help me. Then some guy turned on a saw and my helpful employee walked away. Kennen was sleeping in the car so I just decided to drive over to the garden center. It's amazing the attention shoplifting gets you. I got in my car with the tree stand on my lap, preparing to drive 30 feet to the garden center and she came running over to my car, "MA'M! MA'M! I CAN CARRY THAT OVER FOR YOU!" That's when I told her I wasn't interested in stealing a tree stand and I tried to have her help me but she disappeared into the mini-forest of Christmas trees and that I just was driving to the garden center because my son was sleeping. She actually apologized profusely and smiled (!) and said she would be happy to help me. That must be part of their loss prevention training. 'Smile at the little deviants and pretend to give them the benefit of the doubt.' Bitch.

But! But this is where my story takes a turn! This is where I tell you that me and another lady both park right at the cash register of the garden center. This is where someone actually smiled, genuinely, and said, "We must have the same idea...get in and out and fast as possible." She already had a flat of yellow flowers in her hand. I said I have to keep an eye on my son because he is sleeping. Then she let me go in line ahead of her. Then we talked about flowers. And how gardening is good for your soul. Then, bless her heart, she gave me a $10 off coupon. It's funny how the kindness of strangers touches you. She was salve to my jaded soul and I wanted to hug her and say thank you for restoring my faith in humanity. But instead I paid for my tree stand and told her 'Merry Christmas'. Amen

So, my tree is phat. It has no point. But with a little scheming from my neighbors, I duct taped my star to an old broom stick and stuck it down into the top of the tree. It kind of works. :)

Here...see for yourself:

Ummm, this corner wont work because I can't get to the hallway.

Sorry they are so blurry, but have you ever taken a picture of a lit tree? The slightest movement causes all the lights to blur. Oh well. It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas...

Friday, November 30, 2007

It's time

Okay today is the day that I need to go and pick out a tree from Home Depot. Oh, and it case y'all didn't hear, you should boycott Lowes for Christmas trees this year. They ran and ad calling their christmas trees 'Family Trees'. Okay, I really could care less about the religious aspect of ignoring Christmas but a bunch of Christians are pissed and there is a bit of an uproad on the religious community. It's not a hanukkah bush. It's not a kwannza shrub. It is a Christmas tree and fuck you Lowes for denying me the pleasure of enjoying Christmas for what it is. Um, I'm sorry but is there another holiday in December where you put a TREE in your HOUSE and put lights and ornaments on it? If so, please enlighten me because I didn't get that memo.

Whew! There is my shitty mood again! You know what I have figured out? I'm not miserable in general...I'm just pms-ing again. Sheesh after 13 years of mensturating (yes, I was a late bloomer...15 years old before I got my first period!) you think I would be a little better at anticipating this. LOLz, who is that comedian that said, "You should never trust a creature that can bleed for 7 days and not die!" hahahaha. funny funny.

Anyway, it is a foggy misty morning so I'm going to take my favorite 2 year old out to breakfast and hopefully the sun will burn off the fog so I can actually see more than 5 feet in front of me. I cannot choose a tree if I can't see it. Oh, and I was going to get the $50 tree from home depot, but I'm having such a hard time getting into the christmas spirit that I might just get the $70 one. There is something magical about looking up at a tree and well, I'm a giant (think daryl hannah in attact of the 50 ft woman) so I think the extra tall tree is worth an extra $20.

OMG I almost forgot! Speaking of attact of the 50 foot woman! I had a road rage incident yesterday. I was making a left turn and there was a big white truck behind me. I made my left turn into the left lane. After I passed the intersection I put on my blinker to merge into the right lane (does that make sense?) and after I was halfway into the lane, I hear a huge engine roar and the big white truck that was behind me almost clipped the back end of my car and he sped past me in the right lane and I had to swerve back to not hit him. As he zoomed by I honked my horn and put my hands up and said, "what the fuck?" Then I got behind him and he was looking at me in his rearview mirror and I flipped him off. Then the asshole stopped in front of me! Like stopped on a busy fucking road! I honked my horn and flipped him off again and he just shook his head at me. Oh, and in the meantime, a Tahoe had to swerve to avoid ramming into the back of my car. Nice, you fucking hick from Alabama. Good for you being a bully on the road to a mother and her 2 year old. You should be really proud of yourself. After the raffic cleared behind me, I had to back up a little and when I went to drive around him he sped off. I *wish* that he would have followed me to the gas station because I would like to have seen the look on Mr. Alabama Hicks face after he got his ass kicked by a girl.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

I'm so not in the Christmas spirit.

It doesn't feel like the Holidays at all. Maybe I'm just pouting because y'all know where I want to be...back in AZ. But I'm stuck in Texas. It's becoming my home. Maybe it is just sinking in that I'm going to be here permanently. The kids school has exemplary status. Jeff loves his job and his job has been $weet to him. I have great friends here. My son is developing a Texas drawl...Mow-uh (more), bah-yum (bam!), Pooh-bay-uh (Pooh Bear), Gawg (Dog). This is my home now. I watched some show on the Hells Angels the other night because they were based out of Arizona. All of the footage was of ghetto ass Apache Junction (I know there are nice area of of AJ now, but to me it will always be trailer parks and tumble weeds). I saw purple mountains in the background and lots of desert. *sniff*

I really try not to ever feel sorry for myself. I don't let myself wallow in regret. I keep my mind moving forward and focus on the positive. I don't feel like decorating for Christmas. I don't want to make Christmas cards. I really don't even care about the stupid tree. But I am staying true to my word and we are putting up our tree this weekend. Kimberly keeps asking me in painful anticipation, is it Friday yet??? Maybe if I go through all the motions eventually the Christmas cheer will infect me. So my to do list is: make Christmas cards. Wrap presents. Plan Kennens preschool party. Deck the Halls with fucking Boughs of Holly.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

My son.

On Monday I went to Kennen's preschool to take pictures of all the kids in his class. I am in charge of planning the Christmas party and I'm going to have the kids decorate ornaments to take home with them. The babies in his class are so sweet! They were all so well behaved and happy. I also liked to see where Kennen is as far as development compared to his friends. All the little girls definitely had interpersonal relationship with each other. There were 4 of them and as soon as they all arrived, they went off in the corner talking to each other, hugging each other, and playing 'house'. The boys all were still doing 'parallel play'.

I took several pics of each child to make sure I got at least one good shot of each of them. There is one boy that speaks only Spanish and he The teacher said, "That's as good as you are gonna get with him." *gasp* Are you challenging me lady? I then made it my personal goal to make him laugh and I at first tried to 'get him' with my fingers pinching toward him but he just looked uncomfortable. Then I pulled out the big guns and made a farting noise and said, "Was that you" and pointed to him and waved my hand in front of my nose. Then he laughed so hard and I got the best picture ever of him! Yeah...two years of raising my own and now I speak little boy. Or maybe it's 5 years of being married to Jeff. I wish I could post it because it's such a sweet shot...but he's not my kid and his mom might sue me so I better not.

Anyway, now I have to call the other moms that signed up to be my 'helpers' and figure out a way to have them 'help me'. Hopefully they are scrapbooking types because I'm having a hard time thinking of something clever for the picture ornament.

Oh, this whole Mom of a boy reminded of a few more things I can share. Last night Kennen announced that he was going to the bathroom to poop. A few minutes later he came walking out of the bathroom completely naked wiping his butt with his boxer briefs. Um, yeah those boxers went into the trash. Skid marks on the outside of the undies are just too gross. Then this morning he was in my bed when I woke up and apparently he went potty because he was naked again. He was fast asleep. With morning wood. Yowza! This is the reason that I hopped out of bed at 6:30 instead of 7:00am. Mommy and baby boners don't mix.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

My Mom is doing well!

For those of you that don't mind the details, it all started back in April of this year. She went to her doctor for post-menopausal bleeding. She had an ultrasound done on her uterus and it showed signs of thickening so they tried to do a biopsy. They attempted it twice while she was in the office and once under general anesthesia but they were unable to get the camera through her hardened cervix. Then they did another ultrasound and her uterus was measuring even thicker than before. All of this was over the course of several months and 2 doctors before she was referred to doctor number 3. His 2 specialities are gynecology and oncology. Gulp.

My Mom has always had abnormal female organs. Her uterus is misshapen and she only had one ovary. Today her dr. removed her uterus, her ovary and also found her second ovary...below and behind her uterus. Weird huh? They actually saw the mass behind the uterus on ultrasound and thought it might be a tumor but yippee it's an ovary! They tested her uterus immediately and found it full of fibroids and a benign tumor. Halle-friggin-lueia! Nothing had spread to the surrounding organs...nothing was affecting the lymph nodes in her groin. So they took it out and now she is as clean as a whistle.

I just finished talking to her and she is tired and a little loopy from the morphine clicker but she is being well cared for and is surrounded by family. Thank you everyone for your well wishes and prayers yesterday. They worked!

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Bah humbug.

And I'm so not a bah-humbug kind of person. The weather is crap. My Mom is getting surgery tomorrow and I'm worried about her. I should be there and I feel totally helpless. And trapped. Kim can't miss school but since the kids have to stay, what would we do with Kennen while Jeff is at work? I guess I could take the little man with me but that is 2 plane tickets and um...the property tax fairy stole all my money.


I'm sure I will feel better once my Mom is out of surgery. Pray for her if you do that sort of thing.

Friday, November 23, 2007

Black Friday

Despite only getting 4 hours of sleep, I dragged myself up at 6:30am and was out the door by 7:00am to play bumper carts with the crazy shoppers at Target. I started out very polite...smiling...waiting patiently...saying, "Oh, I just need to squeeze by...excuse me...thank you...oopps sorry." That really wasn't getting me anywhere. The sharks were just chewing me up. So I became a shark too. You wont scoot over so I can cruise down to aisle 23c where the last child sized guitar is? Well then you're gonna get a bump. Put something huge in the bottom of your cart that is as wide as the toy aisle? I'm gonna act oblivious when it catches on my shopping cart and slides onto the ground. Am I rude? What can I say...That's what I do, that's who I be. (and I l.o.v.e. Black eyed peas!) That's how I roll on Black Friday.

I only went to Target this morning. Thank you Priority One hotel points for the Target gift card this year! Yes, we cashed in our hotel points (we had 4 nights built up) so that the kids wouldn't get a lump of coal in their stockings this year. *sob* My vacation is in limbo right now. Oh well it's worth it. I think. I really hope that the kids like what they get this year. Well, I know that Kennen will love his guitar and i bought Kimberly a scary looking doll that is pretty popular. They got some others things but shhhhhhh, I can't tell you what they are because it needs to be a surprise!

Hmmmm, that bad part about not having Thanksgiving at your actual house is the lack of leftovers. I think I need to go to the neighbors house and make myself a plate. :D

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Once in a lifetime

Well, this isn't really a once in a lifetime opprotunity, but I am very excited nonetheless! I posted over at this morning and today my post was chosen for the post of the day! It wasn't anything profound and it's not a secret, so I will share with y'all

ch-check it out!

"I am going to eat everything in sight for one glorious day! Happy Thanksgiving everyone! me too (20)"

:) Oh happy day!

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

I'm thankful for...

modern conveniences! Today I spent literally all day baking. I stood in the same spot measuring, mixing and pouring and now I'm spent. I made 7 pies today (because I really really like leftovers) and I started at around 11:00am and finished at maybe 7:00pm or so. I did wrangle a few kids here and there, and I did take Kimberly to gymnastics. Oh, but don't worry...Patty babysat my pie that was in the oven while I was gone.

After a few hours I started to feel chained to the kitchen. It was like I had always been there and I was always going to be there. The alpha and the omega of baking if you will. Doing such a long lasting menial chore got me thinking about my great grandmothers. For me, I like to cook. I think it's fun...a novelty. But for them it was more like the welfare of their family depended on not burning the catch of the day. Did you loathe their position in the household? Did they whistle while they worked? Interesting.

I saved baking the lemon meringue for last. I was about 10 minutes into whipping the egg whites for the meringue and a crazy storm blew in. It crossed my mind that the electricity might go out and how the hell would I finish my meringue without my electric mixer? I could use my hand beater but was that even possible? I'm sure it was because wasn't meringue invented before electricity? Who the hell decided to whip the stuffin' out of egg whites anyway? Would I have ever been so resourseful as to make a dessert out of egg whites if I lived hundreds of years ago?

I'm convinced it was a pregnant lady:

...Mmmmmm, eggs and sugar! Sounds yummy! Oh, only the the whites please. Hang on a sec...let me whip them for 3 days before I eat them... I've just solved the great meringue mystery. :) Aaaaaaanyway, I guess it's official. I've gone pie nucking futs! And now it's time for some pictures:

First up are the lemon meringues: Here are my first ever apple pies:
And an oldie but a goodie...Pumpkin! They look sad. They want to be covered in whipped cream!
Yes those are Christmas orbs in the centerpiece. And yes those are dreidels decorating the plates. I have to keep the Jew in the house happy.
Happy Jew! Tired Jew? My Jew!

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Feeling the pressure...

Last night Jeff and I were talking about what we need to do to get ready for our Thanksgiving feast. I'm planning on making a few pies, the stuffing, and asparagus for my low carb loving husband. When I was at Sams Club last week, I bought a big box of seasoned bread crumbs as the base for my recipe. Jeff said, "Well, maybe you should make a pan of stovetop stuffing as a backup." I just gave him the "are you still talking?" look and then he told me I can't take constructive criticism. What the fuck was he thinking? Dude, this is thanksgiving and since I am only making one dish, I would like it to be homemade. Well, mostly homemade...I'm not drying out my own breadcrumbs. That's why I bought them from Sams Club. Stovetop? Seriously? This is not the time of year to 'just add water'. Then he finished off his idiotic statement with 'I'm not going to eat any of it anyway since I'm on my diet.'

Um yeah baby. I know you are on your diet that makes you GRUMPY.

Maybe he is craving that thing his mom makes. It's cut up chicken mixed with stovetop and then it's all baked together with gravy on top. It's yummy, it really is. But it's not thanksgiving dinner. Oh, funny story. When I was pregnant with Kimberly, I had a major chicken aversion. It just smelled and tasted gamey to me. Like, if you attempt to wash a down comforter or a feather pillow, and it reeks like ass afterwards because the feathers got wet...yeah that is what I thought of chicken during that pregnancy. Jeff Mom invited us over to dinner at their house and she made her chicken/stovetop thing because it was one of Jeffs favorite dinners. Since I'm not an asshole, I just picked around the chicken and tried not to gag. In my pregnant brain, it was at that moment that I decided that my new Mother in Law must hate me. Now I realize that my pregnancy cravings and aversions were probably just not a priority to anybody but me.

I'm actually lucky becaue my mother in law is a wonderful person. I've gotten used to her doting on me and the kids and I miss her when we haven't seen them for awhile. They are going to be here on christmas day, so I need to think of a good gift...any ideas?

Monday, November 19, 2007

I held out as long as I could...

...but today I finally broke down and started decorating for Christmas. I will post pictures when I am done!

While I was looking though my Christmas ornaments, I came to the conclusion that i don't have enough. The only things I've bought this year are about 20 gold glittery 3 inch snowflakes, and 24 1 inch little gold Texas Stars. These will fill in a lot of space on my Christmas tree, but for some reason I want more. Twelve more actually. Look at what Pottery Barn came up with this year!

they are 6.5 inches tall and so cute, yes? And you can't just buy one...or six...twelve damnit! Twelve reindeer! But at $8 a pop, that is about $100 for silver twig reindeer. Not too smart. Hmmm, I wonder what I could ebay to raise the money...

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Amber Alerts on Myspace

I logged into myspace this afternoon and there was a message on my homepage that said, "Warning! There is an Amber Alert in your area". I checked it out and it was about a missing 4 year old boy. I Googled more info and i found this article:


Boy found after HPD issues Amber Alert

12:58 PM CST on Sunday, November 18, 2007 staff report

A 4-year-old boy was found safe after HPD issued an Amber Alert for him Sunday afternoon.
Pierce Ram was reportedly taken by two unknown suspects while he was sitting in a tan Chevy Tahoe around 11:05 a.m. Sunday morning.
Apparently, Pierce was waiting in the car in front of a Pizza Patron on Gessner while his father, the manager there, went in to talk to some employees.
While his dad was inside, the two suspects jumped in the car and took off.
Pierce was found less than two hours later.

Thankfully this was just a carjacking and apparently the people who stole little Pierce didn't want anything more than the car. I'm glad that he is safe and sound and that his father learned a hard lesson today but still had a happy ending. I wonder how Pierces Mom reacted? Do you think that she immediately kicked her husband in the nuts? Or was she too wracked with grief, and saved the nut stomping for after her baby boy was back in her arms?

Maybe I'm just a freak with an over active imagination, but I am constantly doing a head count of my kids and their little friends. The good thing about our neighborhood is that our kids have friends. The bad thing is that sometimes they slip out the door without telling an adult they are leaving. Then I walk over to Patty's house and ask, "Is Kimberly here?" Then she likes to mess with me and say, " she supposed to be here." Then I have a panic attack, take an Ativan and cry. Then Patty will point and laugh. She likes to scare me, that Patty.

Even today I took Kimberly to a birthday party at a place called Pump it Up...the inflatable party zone. I was talking to some of the other Moms and I realized that I hadn't seen Kimmy in awhile. I did a quick walk around to try and find her and I didn't see her anywhere. The rational me knows that this is a safe place and the employees there wouldn't let a little kid just wander out. But, what if some scary pedophile was waiting in a broom closet...watching me and waiting for me to look away. She of course was fine and I found her in one of the many bouncy things but see what I told you about my over active imagination?

I even struggle with sending Kim on the bus. One day there was a substitute male bus driver instead of 'Miss Darlene' and I did put her on the bus, but I immediately called the bus company and confirmed that Miss Darlene was sick today and wasn't bound with rope and ball gagged in the back of the bus. They said that Mr. Temporary Bus Driver was her boss actually and he was a very nice guy and yes, he passed his background check with flying colors and that Miss Darlenes kids were sick and that's why she didn't work today. Whew!

Then last night Jeff was outside throwing around a football with some neighborhood Dads and the kids were out there running around. Jeff was watching the kids in between cathing and throwing the pigskin but it stressed me out. I had to bring my little boy inside with me. He cried...he wanted to be a big boy and play with his friends, but once again I played the overprotective Mom and denied him that pleasure.

Anyway, I'm a freak. And it's stories like this that drive my insanity.

Saturday, November 17, 2007

The short bus

Last week I had an appointment with the organization that we use for his speech therapy. He is in the family services right now and will be until he is 3 years old. Once he is 3, he will qualify for education services at our elementary school. The woman at the center was telling me the process of signing him up and how the educational services will differ from the family based services. Then I saw as she pointed to the page. Special Education Services. You think my son needs fucking special ed?

In this last year Kennen has been in speech therapy, he has come a long way. The only sound he would make in the beginning is "UH". Seriously. When he said 'Mama' at around 20 months, it was a very happy moment in my life. Slowly, he has made progress and has lots of words now and he speaks in sentences. I'm learning also that I'm just having to remind him that he is saying things incorrectly and give him a chance to try it again. For example if he says "Ow" for 'cow' I will ask him, "Wait, is is "How" or "Cow". He will then usually correct the word with the proper consonant. But if he gets mad, I tell him not to cry and to say 'No more COW mommy'. And then he will say it. I am ninja mommy. Actually, that tip is from our speech therapist. She rocks. Kennen loves her and when she knocked on the door the other day he happily said, "More Holly!" and clapped his hands.

It is still obvious that Kennen needs speech therapy and in most other ways, he is right on track with other kids his age. Still though, we've noticed that Kennen has some delays in motor skills, and motor planning skills. We had an occupational therapist come in to take a look at him. She was so much fun, and she did a thorough shakedown of literally. She was pushing him while he was balancing on a ball to see if he would catch himself when he fell (he didn't). She flipped him all over and again he was just a blob. She also noticed that his balance not strong and that he compensates by propping himself with his hands when he sits. He doesn't need a lot of Occupational Therapy because he can function by himself, feeding himself, going potty and washing his hands, brushing teeth, playing, climbing etc. but that he does have low tone. And there are muscles that connect to the nerves that carry signals from his ears to his brain and if they have low tone, he very well could trouble process what he hears into what he wants to say.

Whew! That was long and boring! I want it here written down so that I can wrap my mind around all that Kennen needs to be the best boy that he can be. And to not be behind in Kindergarten. Oh, and when he goes to the elementary school to get his 'special education' when he is 3, they will pick him up in a teeny tiny bus. A short bus if you will.

Okay, pizza man just brought me some food so I'll make this snappy...

I've decided to become much more proactive in Kennens development so I bought a Yoga Kids DVD (or DDD as Kenny says) and we try to do it once a day. And here is a picture of the cat stretch...aren't we cute?

And of course here is Kimmy-girl and her mangy dog pillow:

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Holiday Scheduling

I hate pulling myself in a million different directions over the holiday season. Being the child of divorced parents provides me with many memories of driving from house to house on Christmas and Thanksgiving. My brother and I would have a late lunch with my Dads family and then would speed off to have some pie with my Moms family. I hated it. Well, I thought I loved it and maybe I did at the time but I am so over it. All I really want to do is sit in my own house with my own decorations and open presents with my kids and my husband (who also happens to be my best friend). But there is so much pressure. His parents want a piece. My Mom wants a piece. My grandparents want a piece. And I just want to be in Arizona.

Jeff parents called and asked if they could come for 'a few days in December,' but that they will leave on Christmas Eve. Man o man, I need to take notes from my Mother in Law for when my kids are grown. I am selfish and would rather just have a quiet Christmas morning, but how can we send them packing on the day before Christmas? And they are so darn organized that they plan for trips in advance, not like me who still thinks I might just hop in my car and go 'home' one of these days. So basically they called 'dibs' on Christmas. How can I resist though? They are wonderful to us, to the kids, and they even like my stinky dog. I am putting my foot down on one thing though! No low fat cooking! No chicken broth in the mashed potatoes! No low sodium anything. I'm going to butter up my turkey as it cooks (oh yes, I'm cooking a turkey on Christmas for the first time) . Giblets in the gravy. Pie pie and more pie. Oh and they are going to give presents only on Christmas morning. No belated Hanukkah presents. We are going to have one big wrapping paper bonanza on Christmas morning. If my kids open presents for 5 days straight they will become major brats and I would like all of the overindulgence to last for one morning only. Who am I kidding though? Jeff will say I am shitting all over his religion (kind of like he did last year when I blew out the menorah...oops!), his parents will be halfway down the stairs with armloads of gifts, and the kids will be foaming at the mouth. I think everyone will be happier if I just surrender to this Hanukkah/Christmas mix. I'm not budging on heavy cream in my mashed potatoes though. Anyway, Christmas is set in stone. I'm excited actually. Since they will be here I can make a feast...for the first time. Does this mean I'm an adult? If being married for 5 years and having 2 kids doesn't make me an adult, preparing Christmas dinner will definitely be the gateway to adulthood.

Thanksgiving will be at Pattys house. I'm very excited for this! We are all chipping in different dishes so does that make it potluck Thanksgiving? It makes me happy because to me, the friends I have made on SBHL sort of mirrors real pilgrims. Different families relying on each other...moving to the same new place to have a better life...coming together to feast in thankfulness. I think it's very cool. All of us do rely on each other whether it's a cup of sugar or just someone to lend an ear. I'm thankful.

So there is just one thing that feels missing from all of my holiday plans. My Mom. My family. My home state. I'm so homesick I could sream. So I think I am actually going to just come out for a weekend. My Mom is having surgery so I will be able to go and help her for at least a day or two. I will bring her starbucks and maybe we can bake christmas cookies. One of my oldest friends Tanya is graduating in December and she is having a party to celebrate it. This is perfect because I can see almost all my friends at one sitting. Gosh it just feels weird to plan a trip by myself without the kids. It's not set in stone yet, but we shall see...

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Sunday Brunch

This morning the only thing on our agenda was brunch at L's house. We got there at 10am...and we just never left. Me and the girls sat at the table and drank mimosas, went through 3 bottles of champagne! Occasionally we corrected our crazy kids but mostly we talked and laughed. Oh, and did I mention the fact that L's husband is a chef? Like a real deal super duper fancy pants chef at a hotel? We had coffee, omelettes made to order and bacon and potatoes w/ corned beef and OMG I didn't realize how much I miss going out to breakfast. Going out to eat and my sanity are just a few things that I've given up since having kids. :) Okay, that's a lie. I can go out to eat if they have a playland...and they don't have one at IHOP. Anyway, we stayed long enough for G to cook chicken fried rice for dinner and then we reluctantly carried the exhausted kids home at 6:00pm. Then I took a bath...then I watched Desperate Housewives.

It was the most perfect lazy Sunday.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

So I was thinking...

If I were to consider trying to concieve a 3rd baby, I would ovulate around Jeff's birthday. Hmmm, and if we did happen to concieve a 3rd baby, it would be born middle to end of August...right when the kids went back to school. Sounds like a plan to me! I brought it up to Jeff and he said maybe. I'm giddy! Or, I was giddy anway. Jeff took Kennen fishing again this morning and he was a bad boy, stole his little friends chair and kept throwing huge fits. Then he peed his pants and layed down and screamed like he's never screamed before. Then he was a bucking bronco baby and wouldn't let Jeff buckle him into the carseat. If I were there I know I could have diffused the situation because I am ninja Mommy and I have become an expert at keeping Kennen from losing his cool. Long story short is that Jeff brought him home, put him to bed and called me to say "I came *this* close to beating your son today. Oh, and the new answer to if I want another baby is NO!"


It's cool, I don't think I have to nerve to do it all over again anyway.

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Growing up way too fast!

This morning on the way out the door to catch the bus, Kimberly stopped walking, looked at me and asked, "Can I go out by myself? I don't want you to come." Um, how about no. I want to make sure you cross the big bad street without getting run over by the assholes that speed around my neighborhood. It was a little stab in the heart. She's getting big and she doesn't want me there. Where did my baby go? I just have to keep up with my mantra...I'm her Mom. Not her friend. It just feels really early for all of this crap. So, on mornings like this I go to my friends blog where she posted a short clip of her baby and all his baby sweetness. Then I ache for a baby for a little while then remember that I have to be pregnant for 9 months to produce a child and that's a road I would be happy to never go down again.

Today I also have an appointment to see about Kennen going to speech therapy at the elementary school (for free) when he turns three. THREE! Regardless of his age, he still thinks that I hang the moon. Last night he crept downstairs and layed down on me and said, 'love you mama.' Are boys easier than girls? Are second children less complex than their firstborn siblings? Don't get me wrong, Kimberly flourished in other ways. Like speaking early. And making friends easily. And now reading and writing. They are unbelievably different, and they both make me a better person. I guess I couldn't ask for more.

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

kiddos are confused...

...about what time it is! Dont get me wrong, I actually like daylight savings time. I would much rather see the Sun in the morning than in the evening. I need it actually to get out of bed. But my kids little internal clocks are all messed up now. Kimberly was trying to wake me up at 4:30 to ask permission to watch tv. Isn't it funny when you child asks permission to do something that you feel you don't have any control over? Like, if she were to just turn the tv on I would have never been the wiser. I'm glad that at least for the time being she still sees me as important and in charge. I wonder how long that will last?

Anyway, both kids were in my bed playing around, kicking me, fighting over who gets to lay closer to Mommy, Kennen playing his perpetual game of "Tee-koo" (peek-a-boo). I felt like I was stuck in one of those cardboard boxes full of puppies in front of the grocery store. They were climbing all over me for like 2 hours. Finally at 6:30 I gave up and told them they could watch cartoons. Then Kimberly asked me for a cookie. >:-(

Have you ever heard that phrase that goes, "Being a parent feels like being pecked to death by a chicken." Here is an example of how true this is: Last night the only thing in the world that Kimberly wanted was a chocolate chip cookie. She was not behaving and crying over her homework and basically being a turd so I told her the last thing I was going to give her was sugar. She maybe asked me 142 times but finally stopped after I used Jedi mind tricks and confused her and she forgot about it. Really Daddy told her no and she listened to him.

We ate dinner, watched tv and then Jeff started getting ready to leave for his business trip. As soon as he was on his way out the door she pounced on me and said, "Can I have a cookie? Can I have a cookie now? Puh-leeze! (tears started falling, she threw her head back so she could take a really deep breath so she could cry really loud). This is when I lost my shit and yelled, "OMG! quit with the friggin cookie! I told you NO!" She was like one of those predators that knew that I was separated from the pack and she could devour me. Because even big creatures are weak without the pack. Jeff talked to her and told her to behave, but as he was walked to his truck I followed him out the door and joked that he couldn't leave me with them. They have gang mentality, those two.

So when she asked me for a cookie this morning, I said 'yes' and rolled over and slept for 30 more minutes. She won. She's a smart one, that Kimmy-girl.

Monday, November 5, 2007


Why can't my house stay clean during a 3 day hiatus from sick Mommy? I'm still so tired.

We had the guy from the alarm company come to my house today and I didn't attempt to pick anything up. He politely stepped over toys and said nothing about it. I told him I was recovering from the stomach flu and offered him hand sanitizer on his way out the door. Is that rude?

Wow, this stomach flu really kicked my ass. But at least it's not coming out my ass. I was emailing my friend and she said that she heard I was sick and that it must be going through the neighborhood because her family is finally starting to get over it. I was thinking maybe it was the cough that she had a week ago so when I asked for specifics she sent me an email that was short and sweet,

From Mrs. Brasilia*

"Oh puke…the shits…the whole nine yards!"

*name has been changed to protect identity :)

Sunday, November 4, 2007

I'm hungry.

But I'm scared to eat. :( I am at the tail end of a 24 hour stomach flu. Lawsie mercy. Nothing is worse than constant nausea and puking until there is nothing left to puke. Oh, and did you know? Stomach bile really is green. Okay, I can't talk about it anymore. I'm still queasy.
Thankfully I was sick on a weekend day where Jeff was able to take over the kids. I spent the day sleeping, puking, and watching the HBO special 'Tell Me You Love Me'. Have you seen it before? It's soft porn meets marriage counseling. Very entertaining if I say so myself. :)

On to more important news...Kennen reeled in his first Bass today! It started when we woke up at 7:00am (instead of the normal weekend 8:00am, thank you daylight savings) and Jeff decided to go fishing. He started getting ready and Kennen went and got his shoes out of the closet and went up to Jeff and said, "Nennen go fishing too?" Overandoverandover again. Except that every time he made the request the 'too' got more and more high pitched and manic. He was following his Daddy from room to room carrying his shoes and pleading to go. Usually Jeff just says no and sends Kennen crying to Mommy. He really is just a little guy and we don't want him to drown or anything. But today something changed. Jeff looked at his boy and he just couldn't say no. Maybe he eyed him for a minute and thought that he looked a little bigger and a little older today. I think everyone in the house was shocked when Jeff said, "Okay Bud, you gotta get dressed first." Kenny was the happiest little boy! I was putting gel in his hair and he looked at me and smiled and said, "Nennen go fishing too? Dadda?" Then I asked him how he caught a fish and he pretended to hold a fishing pole in one hand and reeled in with the other. Too cute!

Jeff cast the lure out and set the hook but Kennen reeled in 3 different fish all by himself. Jeff was happy because he even got some 'action' because one of the fish jumped out of the water a few times!

Apparently the legacy of addictive fishing has just been passed on to the new generation of men in this family.

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Happy Halloween!

I just want to thank my great neighbors for making this such a fun Halloween! I'm glad that I live in a place where my kids are friends with your kids and I am friends with all of you! Thank you!

Yesterday as I was finishing up Jeff and Kennen's costume, I decided to use the leftover material and try to make myself a cave mommy costume instead of wearing the pumpkin costume I planned on wearing. I'm glad I did because it turned out pretty cute. Ch-check it out:

Little Cave boy:
Here is the cave family! You can call us the Ogs. I made everyones costume except for Kimberlys. For those of you that understand the psyche of little girls, trying to convince them to wear something not pink can be a challenge. I decided to play it safe and buy her costume because I can just imagine the battles of forcing her to wear something brown. Not gonna happen. And I made Jeff's out of all fur because I wanted it to match the fur on his body. :)
And here is Patty and her little fireman! As soon as Jeff walked into the party, he pointed at Patty and said, "I knew it! She's a witch!" He always says that she's the wife he never wanted because she bitches at him if he steps out of line. I heart you Patty! Kennen loves you too! Or at least he is infatuated with you hair...

It was a fun Halloween. I had a momentary mean Mommy moment because some preteen boys went up to a house that had their porch light off. They started screaming at the top of their lungs "TRICK OR TREAT! TRICK OR TREAT!" and just being a bunch of mini-assholes at this house. The people there had a new baby about a week ago, which is probably why they dont feel like participating in 50 kids knocking at their door, so I shook my bone at them and yelled for them to get their heads out of their ass. I didn't use that language, but you catch my drift. The scary thing is that these punks will be driving in 3 or 4 years. There goes the neighborhood! :)

One more thing...this morning I woke up to the Wiggles at a very high volume. I poked Jeff and asked him what was going on. He said Kennen woke up so he turned on cartoons for him. I went out to check on Kennen and he was laying of the sofa at 6:00 watching wiggles and eating halloween candy. Little turkey! I picked up my naked (where are your jammies buddy?) sticky fingered boy and brought him into bed with me. He's so damn cute. Okay...that's all I've got! Happy November everybody...oh and Happy payday to meeeeeeeeee!

I lik to et!

Look at what Kimmy-girl came up with while she was home sick with pinkeye! Or pinkeyes as you can see. This is her school journal where she is supposed to draw a picture and then write a sentance about it. We had baked cookies just before she sat down to do her work, so this is what she came up with.

Notice the little girl wearing oven mitts! Notice the pan of cookies on the left! Notice the whirring fan! Notice Hannah Shazama Hotlanta Banana Montana. Notice my red sofa! And most importantly, look at that sentance! I can't believe that she is actually sounding out words and learning how to write! She seems so little still, no?

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

I have a question....

Why is it that I miss Jeff when he is at work. I miss him when he is fishing. I miss him when he is traveling for work. But when he tells me that he is working from home, I cringe? Maybe because in between work calls and emails, he is laying on the sofa eating Halloween candy and watching Maury. This means the kids lay on the sofa and watch Maury while eating Halloween candy too. If I am doing the dishes, he turns the tv volume up to like 50 so he can hear who the babydaddy is. I hate the tv. I had to go on a 3 mile jog/walk yesterday just to get out of the house and away from the family of sloths sitting in the living room.

But today is a new day. He has a quick business trip later this afternoon so he has time to mow the lawn. Yard work makes me hot. Do you hear that baby? Yard work makes me HOT!

The kids have been playing beautifully with each other lately. When I see them running around the back yard together being sweet and having fun, my heart wants to explode with joy. I am blessed. So far Kimberly has managed to keep her pink eyes (yes she has it in both eyes) to herself. She's looking better this morning. I really hope that she is all clear tomorrow so she can go back to school. Although I must admit that I like having her around. I miss her a lot while she is at school...she's gone from 8am to 4pm! Well, I'm off to bake some overpriced cookie dough from Kimberly cookie drive from a few weeks ago. Laterz!

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Pink is the new Eye!

Yessiree my daughter has pink eye. It's super fun! She said that her eye started hurting after she and her friend were bobbing for apples in the cooler yesterday. WTF?

I was like, "You mean the cooler that Daddy uses to go fishing in?" The one riddled with bacteria and fish guts? Yep, that's the one!

I checked out WebMD and I am pretty sure she has bacterial conjunctivitis and not viral. She has lots of goopy goo coming out of here eye. Whenever her eyes get too clouded she runs over to me flapping her little hands in the air crying, "I can't stand it anymore!" Awww, she gets hysterical just like me! :)

I did a late night run to Walmart tonight to buy her some Similisan pink eye relief drops. Right next to the eye drops were adhesive eye patches! LOL, hellz yeah! Kimberly thinks they are super cool, plus I'm hoping that it will keep her from touching her eye and spreading it to her brother (or her mother). Kim had one on and was looking in the mirror and happily exclaiming, "I look ridiculous!"

I guess this means that she can't go to school tomorrow. Oh, and I don't care if the school tells me she needs a doctors note to come back to class in the next few days. I spent the rest of the money in our health savings account on contacts for myself (selfish I know) so the school can bite me on that one. I think I better just tell the school that she has a fever. Or I will tell them that she had a fever last night and I'm keeping her home per the 'no fever for 24 hours' rule. So much for perfect attendance!

Ho other news I dyed my hair today. I don't think I've mentioned it before but I've been dying my own hair for awhile now. I really don't know what I'm doing, but the $20 I spend at Sally's sure beats the $200 I would spend at a salon. All summer long I was doing #10 blonde with 40 developer to lift my hair to super duper blonde. Now I've switched to #8 neutral blonde with a 20 developer to deposit some color and I'm pretty happy with the results. $20 happy anyway. I wish I knew how to do hilights by myself, but I am pretty sure that I'm going to teach myself how to do it sometime soon. I've seen and felt my hair get hilighted for the last decade or so I'm sure I can figure it out. It's just hair. If I fuck it up I can just shave it like Britney.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

I love this weather!

OMG this is such a beautiful day! All of the doors and windows are open and the air is cool, dry and crisp...ahhhhh. No more humidity!

It is the perfect weather for doing laundry and cleaning. I have memories of my Mom opening all the windows and doors and letting the fresh air blow through while she folded laundry. It makes me want to clean. Hey whatever works!

So today I am tackling my laundry monster. And in between loads I'm going to clean my floors. My wood really really really needs to be mopped and my carpet needs to be vacuumed. I wonder if I will find long lost winter clothes in my laundry monster? Since my clothes shopping trip was a bust yesterday, I'm hoping to unearth some cute outfits from last year. Oh, and did you know what this weather change also means? Christmas is coming! Teehee! I was at Pottery Barn yesterday and they the the.most.beautiful.yet.overpriced.tree.ornaments. I am going to show restraint and not shop for Christmas decorations until after Thanksgiving. But after that? I'm going to go buck wild. :D Oh, and bring on the Christmas carols.

Friday, October 26, 2007

I went on my monthly voyage the mall today to pay my Macy's bill. I always go in person because I'm a stay at home mom and I dunno...I'm sick of sitting around eating bonbons. Since 'winter' blew in last week I have realized that i have no long sleeved shirts.

I have known for awhile now that I'm too old for the jr's section. I don't have a career so I am to casual for all of the nice dress clothes. Not petite...not plus sized. Where is the 'stay at home mom chic' section? Oh, I know where it's at effin' Target. I'm so sick of buying my clothes there. Their clothes are cute and don't fall apart when you wash them, but when I'm there every other day and the cashier recognized my shirt as something they were selling last month, it get a little uncomfortable. Oh, and I have one quesiong. When did matertity tops become cool? Every top that I considered trying on was the type of top that you tie in the back. I have put in plenty of time in maternity clothes. I refuse to go back. If I was pregnant this season, i would be in heaven. There are soooo many cute maternity tops in the regular clothing sections all over the mall. But I'm past that stage...and I want to dress accordingly.

So instead of clothes, I bought eyemakeup remover. Oh! And they have made the best invention for Clinique eye makeup remover! Child proof tops! What a great idea! I can't tell you how many times my kids have dumped my expensive toiletries down the sink. Ha! Take that you little ankle biters!

Okay y'all, it's Friday and Mama needs to make a run to the liquor store. Peace.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Sick day and more

I got a call from the school nurse yesterday that Kimberly was crying hysterically in the nurses office that she had a headache. She was refusing to let the nurse take her temperature and was completely inconsolable, so I had to go and pick her up. I went and got her and she did feel warm to the touch and she was crying and holding her head. :*( poor love! She said she was freezing, so I took her home, gave her tylenol and tucked her in. Then it hit me! The school nurse probably thought that Kim had been sick this morning and I had given her tylenol to mask her fever and at 2:30 (6 hours into school) the medicine wore off. Oh well. I decided to keep her home today just in case her fever flared up again. She is totally fine now though. After that first dose, her fever broke and now she is my healthy girl again.

My painting is finished and I have hung it up in my house. :) It makes me really happy to have something so special from my Dad hanging in my house. Here have a look!
I hung it over my front door. I didn't have an extension ladder, so I moved my dining room table over to the entryway and put a ladder on top of the table. At first Jeff yelled at me for my lack of 'safety' (He's a Health, Safety, & Enviornmental Manager), but then when I didn't stop, he took pity on me and handed me the painting from the stairs. I love this picture because it's of me. And I love this picture because it reminds me of another little girl...
Here is a token picture of Kennen...because you can never have enough Kenny pics! (don't mind my messy bedroom!)
And of course Hannah Shazama Banana Hotlanta Montana

Wednesday, October 24, 2007


Okay, I know that this blog is about my mundane life and all the things included in my mundane life, but a headline on my homepage caught my attention this morning. Heidi Fleiss is opening a male brothel somewhere in Nevada. Like there are a bunch of dudes living in a house together waiting around to bang a bunch women who have more money than sense. I understand female prostitution. I don't like it, especially since most of a hookers clientele are married men, but it makes sense to me. But do women really have to pay to have sex with someone? When I was single, I always knew that when I went out somewhere and I wanted to sleep with someone, I definitely could. Mostly I felt like I was beating them off with a stick. I think that guys definitely need to work a little harder to get laid. Plus girls are known to woo men into commitment by dishing out spoonfulls of sex. That's where prostitution comes into play. Wasn't it Charlie Sheen that said that he didn't pay hookers to sleep with him, he was paying them to leave afterwards. I guess that the wham bam thank you m'am never gets old for guys.

Anyway, back to my original thought. I truely think that a male brothel for women is not going to be a successful business venture. I think it goes against the grain of how a woman thinks. Women are the prize that men work for. Not the other way around. Am I crazy? Am I old fashioned? I just dont get it...

p.s. MTV is streaming the new Britney album all this week!

Tuesday, October 23, 2007


OMG I forgot how much I hate being cold. I can handle a Texas summer with no a/c in my car, but this cold front is making me miserable. I'm too cold to do anything. I just want to curl up in a ball and cuddle with my boy. So that's what I've been doing today, :).

So I might be able to swing a trip to Arizona, but now I'm getting cold feet. My in-laws are not going to be at home in AZ so now I'm not sure if I want to come. Jeff will not be able to come with me and the only other people in the world that help me with the kids are my in-laws. This means that even if I go out there I will have my kids 24/7 in a non-childproofed house without any help. No thank you. I tried to talk to my Mom to feel out exactly how 'grandmotherly' she will be this trip, hinting that I am intimidated by the thought of coming out there with no help. She basically said, yes traveling with kids is hard and if you think you are going to be miserable, then maybe you should stay home. I definitely didn't hear, "Yes I would love it if you went galavanting off with your friends while I watch your kids." My in-laws have spoiled me big time. They always take over when they visit. They actually prefer to babysit when I'm not there because then they don't have to adhere to all of my pesky rules, like no M&M's for lunch and no backtalk and bedtime at 8:30.

I can't really blame my Mom. I do understand where she is coming from. Single mom, works full time and has her whole life. She wants to see me and the kids, but she doesn't want to watch them for me. I'm not bitter. I've learned to know what to expect from her. It still sucks though because I really miss AZ. I need In and Out burger and a carne asada burrito. To see the brown dusty desert surrounding the polluted skyline of the valley of the sun while my plane lands makes me want to weep with joy. I want to go home.

I just have a feeling that it's going to be a huge expense and a huge headache. I just need to go. What do you think? Should I stay or should I go?

Sunday, October 21, 2007


I have both kids in the tub right now. I put them each in their own bathroom because bathtime is faster that way, and I have Desperate Housewives starting in 25 minutes. I went into Kennens bathroom and got him in the tub and shampooed his hair, then I went down the hall and checked on Kimberlys progress. She was in the tub but didn't even have her hair wet yet, so I dumped a cup of water on her head. I poured shampoo into my hand and went to go scrub her hair and she said, "Wait Mommy, can I do that?" I ignored her and kept scrubbing and she said, "Do you hear the words that are coming out of my mouth?"

Hahahaha! That is exactly what I say to her when I am being mean Mommy and she is not listening to me! I'm going to have to write that in her baby book. Oh wait, I haven't written in her baby book in 3 years, so I guess my blog will do!

She is a mini-Stella. I am so proud!

Saturday Afternooon

Yesterday we went to the pumpkin festival in our neighborhood. It was about a mile from our houses so we packed up the kiddos and walked. The weather was great and the kids had a lot of fun. It was sweet to see the magic in their little eyes as they stood in line to play carnival games and win candy. Let me tell you, the magic for me is gone. I guess I'm getting old but mostly I was hot, and paranoid that they were going to get kidnapped. Here is a quick photo recap of our day:

My little punkins with their new punkins:

Kimberly being the mighty winds to this little sail boat (yes she got candy for her efforts)

It's hard teaching littles to wait in line (for 15 minutes) to wait for their turn to pet the animals

OMG! We're in Texas now, y'all!

Walking the mile home.

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Shhhhhh...Mommy has a headache!

So, I have ditched the atkins diet for the time being. It was super effective in that I lost 4 lbs in one week, but it is really hard for me. It did jump start my weight loss and I'm down a total of 7 lbs. Part of my success is using splenda instead of sugar, and making sure I feel truely hungry before I put anything in my mouth and eating small portions. The main part is that I'm not having a middle of the week beer or late night glass of wine. I'm saving all my alcohol consumption for Friday nights, and OMG did I catch up last night.

I had 4 Hoegaarten beers(recommended by the guy with the beard at my local liquor warehouse) and then a cosmopolitan. Bad idea. I woke up in the middle of the night ready to puke. Fun fun. I guess the rule, "Beer before liquor, never sicker," is true because Patty also had a midnight puke party. Can you believe that we are active PTA volunteers?

This morning was terrible. Thank goodness that Jeff took Kimberly fishing and thank goodness that Kennen will actually watch tv now. Yes I have a babysitter named TV and I'm not ashamed. Jeff came home and took one look at the pitiful look on my face and told me that I need to sweat it off. Great idea! I put on my sneakers and got my iPod and was out the door. By the look on his face, I don't think that is what he had in mind when he mentioned 'sweating' but you know what? 30 minutes later I was home, my hangover was gone and I was ready to be a functioning member of this family. We are going to the pumpkin patch later so i will post pics sometime soon!

Have a happy Saturday!

Thursday, October 18, 2007

I've got friends in low places

Yep, when I'm feeling sorry for myself, I am lucky enough to have friends to lift my spirits. Look what I found in my inbox from my friend Laura?

Can you believe that this rugged scene pulls on my heart and makes me want to dive into a jumping cactus? This reminds me of the hundreds of trips I took to Saguaro and Canyon lake, or up to my grandparents nut farm (pistachios, not crazy people) in Wikieup. Or the drive from Phoenix to Flagstaff before you entered the forest. Arizona really is an amazing state. It's known for the dry cactus filled deserts, but drive a few hours north and you can hike in the red rocks of Sedona or go trout fishing in the creeks. Drive another hour north and you are in a thick ponderosa pine forest. You can go skiing in the winter since the top of the mountain is around 10,000ft. It's amazing! I remember my last free as a bird spring break before I was married and pregnant. I woke up in the morning on the beach in Mexico and by the time we drove home that night, we were going 30 mph with no visibility up twisting mountain roads because there was almost zero visibility due to the crazy snow storm. Oh, and we didn't have snow tires. Fun fun.

I saw some ruby red slippers yesterday while I was halloween shopping. Do you think a heel click will get me home? (theresnoplacelikehome, theresnoplacelikehome).

Monday, October 15, 2007


I'm here to make up for that sorry excuse for a blog posting earlier. I was feeling sorry for myself.

I had forgotten that things can always get worse.

Like the school nurse could call and say that Kimberly has a rash and I have to pick her up and she can't come back to school until she has a doctors note. Cha-ching, for me that means that I have to spend $95 for a doctors note. Friggin awesome. Then I'm there and the doctor said that they have the flu shots for Kim's age group and it's $27 if I want it, oh and I should really really get it because I don't want her to get the flu...blah blah blah. So I sign for a flu shot and let the doctor make a liar out of me while i hold down my writhing 5 year old. Bloodcurdling shrieks of, "I'm scaaaaared! You promised no shots today!" while they jab her with a needle. Then I felt really guilty and so I bought her a Happy meal. And Kennen was with us, so I bought him a Happy meal. And I love McDonalds so I'll have a number one with a large Diet Pepsi thank you very much.

In the matter of an hour I dropped $134. But now we are home, the wind blew in a nice cold rain and Jeff and the kids are downstairs cleaning. I'm blessed.

Oh, and I had the best weekend. I don't think I've had this much fun in awhile. First, we went to Joe and Kempy's house. Kennen loves Joe...and I think Joe loves Kennen. Here they are watching football together. Mind you, Kennen barely cuddles with me, so this is really something special.

Then on Sunday afternoon we went to the local Rice Harvest festival (apparently my town used to be rice fields). I could have taken pictures of my neighbor doing her gymnastics routine, or of my kids eating turkey legs and snow cones, but no. I only took one picture that day. And here it is...the biggest doggy balls I have ever seen. :) Happy Monday!

*****Edited to say that I did not give my daughter the STD prevention drug, was indeed the flu shot. Oy vay, don't they start giving that to 9 year olds??? 4 more years and I will be talking to her about STD's? I'm sick to my stomach now...