Monday, June 25, 2007

Weekend Stellabration!

Jeff somehow managed to surprise me on Friday night with a birthday party. That day I got a crisp new $100 bill from my mama and I decided i would bring the kids with me to get my hair cut. I was prepared. I had snacks and drinks and a few new toys in my purse to keep them happy while mama got her hair did. The place I went to gave me a fantastic haircut! My neighbor J.J. recommended it to my neighbor Lisa (miss you!), my neighbor Lisa recommended it to Rhona, and Rhona recommended it to me. They give fantastic haircuts and since they are on the 'wrong side of the freeway' they were really cheap! $25 for a shampoo, awesome cut and a blowout. Rhona and I have decided that the reason they are so cheap is that they give everyone the same haircut. Y'all know the cut I'm talking about. The long layered do that all twenty and thirty something Mommies have. The one that says, 'Cinco Ranch Bitches'. I like it. then I went to Sams Club to buy a knife set that I have been eyeing. My friend Kelly was aghast when I told her that's what I was doing with my birthday money. She said that knives are just something you buy because you need them, but she doesn't understand. I am housewife supreme and new sharp Wolfgang Puck knives for $59 at Sams really really really really do make me happy. The better to chop you with. just kidding.

Anyway, I was driving home and I called Jeff back. He had called like 3 times while I was getting my hair done and he was getting worried. Not worried about my health and safety, but worried that the $60 bag of crawfish he bought was gonna go to waste if I didn't get my crawfish eating butt home. kidding again.

I got home and he told me there was beer in the fridge. Stella Artois. ahhh, my namesake. I was drinking it and standing around with my neighbors and then I saw something in the shape of a cake on the table with a towel covering it. I asked Jeff about it and he said it was for tomorrow. Hmmmm. Some friends started coming over and I still didn't think much of it. We socialize every weekend. Then I went to Patty's house and H came walking out with a present in his hands. Aha! Then I went home and saw a buffet of food spread across my kitchen and Jeff smiled and said 'Surprise'.

My goodness I love that man. He is vunderful. I made my friends do shots against their will and we had a grand old time. Jeff didn't drink at all that night because of his diet (he's lost 45 lbs and counting!) so he was a very good sport to his wife who was drunk off her ass. The only bad part was me not remembering playtime with my hunny after all the guests went home. At all. Not even a flicker. The last think I remember was putting my hair in a ponytail and getting in the shower. I don't remember taking a shower, I don't remember getting out of the shower or any other details. Then next morning Jeff was like, "You don't REMEMBER?!?!?!?!?! Um, nope. Sorry baby. Sounded like fun though!

He figured I still had my wits about me since I always have my wits about me. But no. I was F.U.B.A.R.ed. Oh, and the best part was that I wasn't even hung over. I have no idea how that happened.

Now it's back to the daily grind. Jeff's working. I took Kimberly back to swimming lessons. She can do the freestyle stroke now (sort of)! She needs to work on her breathing, but she definitely has the stroke. However, she was scared to death to go back to her lessons today. She knew that they were going to continue floating on their backs and she HATES that part. Her teacher is fantastic though and as soon as my teary Kimmy-girl arrived she hugged her and twirled her around the water. She convinced Kim to put her goggles on and then she was all smiles from there.

Oh. And then there is one more thing. I bought Kimberly a Webkinz. Talk about addiciting. It's like Sims but you do it with virtual pets and it's for kids. She loves it. I like it too. I can't wait for her to go to bed so I can play it by myself. :)

Friday, June 22, 2007

happy birthday to meeeeee!

It's official. Yesterday I turned 28.
Jeff caught a red-eye flight home from California so that he could spend the whole day with me yesterday. I was touched by how sweet he was about it. I am such a slacker when it comes to birthdays (and anniversary's and any other holiday that doesn't rhyme with Isthmus). I seriously feel like it's just another day. I was looking forward to going out to breakfast, bringing Jeff to see Kim's swim lessons, and seeing what we could do to entertain ourselves with when we put the kids down for a nap. Well, we could put Kennen down for a nap and send Kim to Patty's house for the same effect since Kim is too big to nap. Gotta love Boomboom babysitting.
But it didn't happen. There was an injury at a plant about 2 hours south of us so as soon as Jeff got home yesterday, changed his clothes, brushed his fangs and had to leave. :( Poor Jeff was running on the 2 hours of sleep he got on the plane. Thank goodness for sugar free Rockstar!
My awesome neighbors picked up the slack though and took me to my home away from home, Panera Bread. Yummy! the kids were a bunch of crazy monkeys. Yet another reason why I am second guessing having a third baby. It seems that once they outnumber you, they start to turn against you and whisper evil plans in each others ears look at you like you are the enemy. Trying to keep up with all 4 of the kids yesterday was like trying to heard a litter of Kittens. They just kept scattering. Oh, and Panera has free Wi-Fi so there are a lot of business people that are tapping away busily on their lap tops. Until we got there. The kids started talking really loud and arguing about who is going to sit where and who is going to eat what. One by one people were snapping their lap tops closed and marching out quickly.

But I didn't care. 'Cuz it's my birthday. :)

Oh and I officially can start using my present that I bought for myself a while back. Here is a picture:

Isn't she beautiful? I have actually been using it for about a week now. I just couldn't resist. The only bad thing is that it squeaks really loud. It's finally getting better but it's embarassing when your purse is screaming, "I'm a new coach purse! I'm a new coach purse! Didn't you know? I'm new!"

I got phone calls from my in-laws, my mommy, my friends wishing me a happy day. It was a good day. Except when Kennen tried to bite me during Kim's swimming lesson. He didn't want to sit in the chair and when I told him to get back on it he took the gum he was chewing out of his mouth and and came after me with teeth gnashing and right before he made contact with my leg, I yelled at him and put him in timeout. For 20 minutes. Hey he was quiet and finally not crying and I wanted to chit chat with the other moms. I know what he is capable of because he bit his 2 year old partner in crimb, Colby really hard on the back...poor little love.

Jeff also sent me roses! I didn't know they were coming though and I go in and out the garage when I'm running errands so i didn't see them until the were hot and wilted. It's all good though...the flower company is sending new ones on Saturday.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

speaking of breaking point...I mean, on a lighter note!

I had tucked in the kids hours ago but apparently I didn't realize that Kimberly had turned on the sink in her bathroom to make a pond for her rubber duck, and then must have seen something shiny and got distracted and left the water on. She just woke up to go potty (maybe from the sound of all the running water next to her bedroom?) and then came running in to tell me the bathroom is flooded.

Damnit! I start wiping up the water and sent her downstairs to get more towels and she came rushing back and yelled, "MOMMY! There is water coming out of the ceiling and it's all over the kitchen floor."


It actually isn't as bad as it could be. Handywoman Stella thinks that the water leaked under the the toilet (where it wasn't caulked by my wonderful builder) and then it dripped onto the subfloor and then found it's path to my kitchen floor through a recessed light in the ceiling. The water is dripping (pouring) out from the can light but it is somehow avoiding the drywall around the light fixture, plus the electrical hasn't shorted out. I was thinking about flipping the breaker, and seeing if I could remove the can light to let all the water out (to prevent mold) but I've since decided that would be boy work and Jeff will be home tomorrow to worry about it. Oh, and we could have decided to put wood in the kitchen (which would have surely been ruined by's been leaking for maybe 2 hours!) but we chose tile so it's all good. Plus now I can tell Jeff that I mopped the kitchen floor. :)

Oh that reminds me...I need to buy flood insurance.


Since I am a myspace junkie I have seen the bulletin about a baby boy named Kaleb that is hospitalized from shaken baby syndrome. You can check out his mommy's website at:

It turns my stomach that an adult can do such a terrible thing to a sweet little baby. Something horrible happening to my children is my greatest fear. I am thankful that I am able to be a stay at home mom, and that when I did work I was leaving Kimberly with grandma and grandpa. I am especially grateful that I was able to always be with Kennen because he has that cry...the one that can break glass. And he cries so much over the smallest thing. He is the child that pushes you to your breaking point. He's my sweet son so I can handle all that he dishes out, but I can't imagine a stranger trying to console him because frankly...he can be pretty fucking inconsolable. I still wont leave him with anyone except for some close friends and of course grandma and grandpa because I'm afraid that he will be abused.

But what if I had to? What if it was my first baby and I didn't want him to be neglected at daycare where there are 15 other babies in the classroom so I chose home day care? And I met the woman and she lived in a nice neighborhood, she already had children of her own and I felt like she would embrace my child just like it was family. That would be my preferance if I had to work. That is what Kristy chose and now her son is so hurt. My heart aches for that mother. You have so much hope for your firstborn and for someone to steal your future and the future of your child because they 'lost it'. Seriously fucking lost it. I also feel bad for the abusers children. I'm sure she would never hurt her kiddos because once again, the love you feel for your own is deeper than the sea and 'something' keeps you in check when you are frusterated. But then you must bring a crying little interloper into your house for extra money and you make the biggest mistake. I don't feel bad for the child care provider but she is going to go to jail and her 3 kids are going to be motherless. So much pain from one moment of selfishness.

Ugh. Plus for me it is hard to think about because Kaleb is a boy (and y'all know how I love those baby boys!), and he has blue eyes (now vacant because they think he is blind), and a bald head. All those things together remind me of my baby boy.

I will feel like a hypocrite if I say, 'pray for Kaleb' because me and G-d are still working out the terms of our relationship and I don't want to do him the disservice of only begging for mercy when it suits me, but please pray for him if you do that sort of thing. There is also a paypal button for donations so I will probably send what I can to that as well.

Tonight I was reading a bearnstein bears book to Kennen and even though the B bears are the kindest looking bears possible, Kennen still pointed to each bear and roared and growled and clawed and gnashed his teeth. Because he is a boy and that is the perspective that boys have. And I think that is absolutely adorable.

Monday, June 18, 2007

what the heck... I going to do with the kids all summer long? Kimberly is moping around the house waiting to be entertained. Yesterday after our super floppy day she kind of freaked out. It was like watching a caged animal. What's a mom to do at 9:00pm on a Sunday night with a 5 year old that wont sleep, and wont stop begging to 'play' at her friends house? You take her on a mommy/daughter shopping trip to Walmart! I didn't really need much more than milk, diapers and laundry detergent but we did the late night Walmart thing. You know, where you cruise up and down the ailes not really looking for anything in particular but ending up with a $100 cart load of stuff that you will eventually use. And a pink umbrella for a certain 5 year old girl. The shopping therapy worked and by the time we were in the check out line, she looked at me with a serious face and contentedly said, 'I'm thirsty and I'm tired.'

Mission accomplished!

Today I have been scouring the area for enriching things to do this summer. In about an hour or so she is going to start swim lessons. She will go every day for 2 weeks for an hour each day. I guess it's and intense start up course to get them to be able to 'survival swim' if they fall in a pool. After the 2 weeks, you can go once or twice a week for 30 minutes at a time. Ok, so that takes care of one fun thing to do. I think I'm also going to do indoor soccer too. She will be able to run around with her good friend Lewis for an hour and I can chit chat with Rhona. sounds fun. What else can I do? Maybe gymnastics? I will see how much it costs. Kennen is still 'babyish' and is happy to hob-nob around the house with me but Kim is sooooooOOOOoooooooo bored.

Playdate anyone?

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Fathers Day...let me try this again... ;)

I started today by waking up at 4:00 in the friggin morning! I had only gone to bed at 1:30. :( I could not fall back asleep. Maybe I was hungry. So I had a bowl of oatmeal. Maybe I wanted to watch tv. The only thing on was the Sopranos finale and I've already seen it twice. I tried to go online but I was too tired and I decided to lay down on the guest bed instead. The next thing I remember is waking up in my bed downstairs with Jeff and the kids were playing in my room. It was 10:50am!!! I don't remember the last time I slept that long. I also don't remember sleep walking down my stairs this morning. **yawn**

Poor babies though. Kimberly had served up hotdog buns for her and her brother for breakfast. What a good big sister. I got up and started rushing around like a mad woman and bathed the kids, got them dressed so we could rush to our neighbors house across the street for brunch. At 11:00am. We were a little late. Mmmmmmm. We could smell yummy food like 5 houses down and across the street from Laurie's house. The kids played beautifully with each other. I think it was sort of a neutral zone for them because they don't get to play there very often...Lauries house is across the big bad street. The kids know not to even think about putting a toe on that road without an adult hand to hold.

We ate great food, drank great coffee and mimosas. We came home full and sleepy. The sky opened up and has been dumping rain and it's beautifully gray out and the perfect day for Jeff to sleep on the sofa all day while all six Star Wars episodes air on HBO. The perfect day for me to do laundry. Ok, well I did 2 loads but now I think I really need to sleep. **yawn**.

geeze...I'm so tired that I don't even have anything witty to say. Oh, and Jeff still wants another baby. I keep expecting him to change his mind. Now I just have to make up my mind. How will it affect the other kids? Will my hormones make me crazy like when I was pregnant with Kimberly, or will I just feel normal like I did with Kennen? Will this third child give me stretch marks that I have been so fortunate to avoid with the other 2 kids? Can we afford it? Oh gosh, will I have to drive a minivan? How will our insurance work for maternity coverage? Why am I so stressed about these details when we just jumped in head first with the other 2 kids. We are more secure than ever and now I'm wondering if we can afford another kid. Jeff was a friggin waiter when we got married. We rented, we had nothing. We were livin' on L.O.V.E love. I guess all these thoughts just make me more responsible, but I can't help but miss the free spirited child of my mother that 'knows' that everything is going to be okay.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Fathers Day

Is it this Sunday already? I have a few cards to send...Step-Dad...Father in Law...Grandpa's on both sides. I can't do the obligatory 'visit my Dad's grave and cry my eyes out' since he is buried in Arizona and I'm in Texas now. I am using the term 'buried' loosely because he is in a drawer in a mausoleum. But I do still have reason to celebrate! My baby-daddy, Jeff, is showing me what it's like to be a father that isn't:

1. Angry
2. A drunk.
3. only sees me every other weekend
4. dead

I do have great memories of my Dad but I guess I'm pissed right now. I feel cheated. I can't go to a wedding without excusing myself to go outside during the 'father/bride' dance. They always play that fucking song, "Daddy's little girl" and I always lose it.

My daughter, however, knows she is Daddy's little girl. There is something so special about how he is wrapped around her finger. She knows she can get him to do whatever she wants. I never had that. My Dad was too busy being abusive. But I know he loved me in the way that he knew how. And that's ok. I guess.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007


Last night I finally tucked in Kennen at 8:30. His foot is almost 100% better and last night I gave him his antibiotic and he puked it back up immediately. I fucking give up. No more antibiotics. Between the puking, pooping and sun sensitivity, I am just done. Oh, and now he has a 'fifths disease' rash all over his body. He is no longer contagious and it doesn't bother him but it's just one.more.thing. that I have to be worried about.

Anyway, I gave him his medicine, he puked on me, I tucked him in, read him a story, turned off his light and closed his door and Jeff walked in the house! Yipee!

He walked in and yelled, "Hey baby, I want you to meet someone!"

I'm glad I was dressed. He brought a co-worker that traveled here from France for their world wide meeting. My house wasn't that bad but if I knew someone was coming over, I would have hidden the evidence that I parked Kim in front of the tv with a bag of fast food and I would have folded my laundry pile and put the ironing board away. Oh, I probably would have loaded up the dishwasher too. And set out something to munch on and opened a bottle of wine. And brushed my hair. And changed out of my hoochie skirt. And made sure my thong wasn't hanging out. But no, my sweet husband decided it was best to surprise me. I don't mind keeping up the appearance of the good little housewife as long as I get fair warning. At least 20 minutes. I can work some serious magic in 20 minutes.

They were here about 30 minutes and then they left and as he was walking out the door I gave him a look that said, "What the hell were you thinking?" and he gave me a look that said, "Sorry!" Then he gave me a slice of snickers cheesecake and all was forgiven.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

One more thing...

I'm giddy! I know what my birthday present is...because I bought it yesterday! Tee hee! I keep looking at it and then putting it back on the shelf in my closet. I'm not going to officially open it until my birthday. But it's there. Waiting for me. Whispering my name. Begging to be loved. So I unwrap it again and hold it.


its a surprise!

sticks and stones may break my bones...

I was just dancing around the kitchen cooking lunch and Kim said, "Mom. Stop dancing. Youre grossing me out."

I was really mature and told her to bite me.

I'm a gross mom apparently. I didn't know that a 5 year olds words could just slice through me like that. I FRIGGIN GAVE BIRTH TO YOU...UNGRATEFUL LITTLE BRAT. I sacrificed my body to bring 2 children in the world. The funny thing is that I am more confident physically now that I think I ever was. I think I am more impressed by my body doing amazing things (like growing a child, giving birth and then feeding it like a moo-cow for a year afterwards) than actually looking amazing.

Oh, and just when I start to move past wanting another baby, Jeff tells me this weekend that we should go ahead and start trying for a third. WTF? He said, 'I've always wanted three but I just wasn't ready.'

You have always wanted 3? That is news to me. You said 2 was plenty. He said that he knows that when we are older, family is going to be the most important thing and even if it is harder now, he knows we wont regret it.

He's not thinking clearly though. I think that he has been traveling a lot with work and putting in long hours and just misses all of us. I'm going to wait until August to let him really mull it over. Plus, I want to enjoy my summer and my morning sickness will be much more tolerable if Kim is in kindergarten and Kennen is in preschool. I can take them to school, then come home and puke in peace. :)

Oh, and this time I wont chart my temperatures and obsess the way I did with Kennen. I really wanted a boy and we planned our timing to make a boy more likely. Since I really dont have a gender preferance, I want it to just happen naturally. Well, I want a boy a little more than a girl but I want to leave it up to the stars. Jeepers! I'm talking about this like it might actually happen.

I wonder what a third will do to my body? Mom butt here I come!

Sunday, June 10, 2007

love and marriage

Kennen still has a fucked up foot. More diarreah covered crib...not because he is smearing, but because it's blasting out of his diaper. The doctor says don't stop the antibiotics because then the infection could get worse, yadda yadda yadda. I'm trying to keep him hydrated, trying to keep him off his foot, trying to keep him from pooping everywhere. I'm not only disgusted but I'm worried because this is my sweet boy and he still isn't getting better. Yesterday I hit my breaking point and who got the brunt of my explosion? My husband, that's who! If he had only cleaned the shit filled crib one time, or changed a diaper one time I probably would have kept my cool. But no. He was a smart ass and when I requested that he changed a diaper, he requested that I go to work for him tomorrow.

Oh no you didn't. Them are fightin' words.

I tore Jeff a new asshole and now I'm sorry. I'm a meanie. I could have said what I needed to say without being such a bitch about it. This morning I was still festering and then the weirdest thing happened. Jeff was nice to me. He called me baby love and beautiful. I was apprehensive and I asked him why he was being so nice to me. Then he said the best thing.

'It's ok, I know your just worried about the bud.'


Then he continued to say,'Your crying out for sweetness. And here I am. Being sweet. Everything is ok.'

Um...yeah...I was so mean that I'm not even going to type what I said. I launched verbal DAGGERS, SPEARS, AND FLAMING PILES OF POOP. And he just shrugged it off. Hmm. how about that? He saw past it all and knew what I needed...and was a big enough person to give it to me.

Every day I love him just a little bit more...

Friday, June 8, 2007


I don't know why but it just hit me that in about 11 weeks I will be putting my sweet 5 year old on a school bus that will drive away with her...without a seat belt...1/4 mile to her school. Why not just drive her you ask? Apparently you haven't seen the hell that is the carpool line. It starts 45 minutes before school begins and logistically, because there is a median in the road, I will have to travel an extra mile or 2 in the wrong direction to make a U-turn and drive a mile back and then wait in line. For 45 minutes. And Kennen slept in and hasn't had his breakfast yet and he's screaming. For 45 minutes. What's that? Why don't I walk her to school? Ok, now your just being cute. hahahahahaha. That's not happening either. Plus all her little friends are going to ride the bus. I would be hurting her socially if I drove her to school. Right?

I can just see her full of pride and excitement, backpack strapped to her back, phone number and address memorized just in case, feeling like such a big girl. Then the bus will drive away. Then I will wave to her and she will wave back then I will see her little face scrunch up and she will do the 'siren' (you know where the pitch and volume of their cry gradually gets louder and their little mouth is in a perfect circle?.) Reality will set in that she is really driving by herself to school. Without a seat belt. By herself. I know that at this moment I will sprint to the school, hide in the bushes and watch as her teacher fetches her off the bus and makes it all better. Oh Lawd. My heart is breaking at the thought of this.

It will probably be more like preschool where if she catches me peeking in the window at her she will 'shoo' me away with her little hands and if I still don't leave she will come to the door and tell me to "GO-wah! Awaaaaay-uh!"

Thursday, June 7, 2007

Full Circle

Sometimes things go full circle. Sometimes a boy will step in a poop filled crib, get a nasty infection in his foot, get even nastier antibiotics that 'cleanse' his colon, and then his mommy will go into his room after his nap and he will be standing in puddles of diarrhea. Then his mommy will cut his clothes off because there is no way she will poopify his blonde hair by pulling a shirt over his head. Sometimes these things happen. Oh and sometimes she will laugh because as she is 'pre-rinsing' the diarrhea out of his sheet she will notice that the brown giraffes on his safari themed sheets are a little more brown because her son fingerpainted over them perfectly. I'm so proud that he stays between the lines when he colors. Such good motor skills.

Oh and sometimes he will get a diaper rash from all the explosive diarreah and will scream 'EAM! BALL! EAMBALL! UH-EAM-BALL! And this mommy will know that the boy is asking me for 'diaper cream' on his 'balls'. When I'm done he will emphatically say, "Day-doo Mama...Day-doo!" Your welcome buddy...your welcome.

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

I friggin love Summer!

I love it. I do. Nothing makes me happier than super hot weather. It's my comfort food.

I went to the beach club today with Patty and Laurie and the 6 kids between the 3 of us. Kennen is a little maniac in the pool. My scaredy cat little boy that is unsure of himself in every other way RAN into the deep end of the pool the entire time we were there. It's a fake beach so it starts out shallow and gets gradually deeper. Once his little feet couldnt touch anymore he just kept on kicking and lunging his body out into the open water. This is the first time he has swam this summer but he immediately mastered 'balancing' in the water with his floatie clad arms. We went throught a small meltdown because he wanted his floaties OFF! but I kept saying no. I then did take them off thinking that if he went 'under' a few times he would get the message. Well, I took them off, he ran until his head went under water, I scooped him back up, he coughed and sputtered, then ran back under water. The boy just wasn't learning the lesson. He screamed like a banshee but then I put him on the 'step' for 2 minutes, then fed him a snack and then he was a happy boy again...and he surrendered to the floaties staying on his arms.

Kimberly finally doesn't cry when her face gets wet. She needs floaties still too but she is actually pretty good at getting around now. I watched her like a hawk but I let her have a lot of freedom today. It's nice that there are lifeguards there too. We also ran into on of the kids from yesterdays playgroup and Kim, Ian and the little girl all had fun frolicing in the water.

Life is just so much better in the summer, no?

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

*gasp* I had fun!

I have a mommy group! And I actually want to go back. :)

Maybe it's because moms of 5 year olds aren't disillusioned and competitive anymore. Maybe it's because I live in the 'energy corridor' of Houston and lots of the families I met have moved here recently too. Or maybe the Cinco Ranch Bitches really do rock. I dunno, but I had fun. For real.

Kimberly and Ian found some fellow frog/bug catching kids and they had a blast. None of the moms had a holier than thou attitude. Now I have something else to look forward to every week.

Kennen got fried in the sun. The combo of the sun and his antibiotics turned him red. I fed the kids lunch, pumped Kennen full of more antibiotics and steriods and watched him puke it all back up. Nice. If it's not coming out one end, it's coming out the other.

Monday, June 4, 2007


Ok, so tomorrow I am going to a 'playgroup' for moms of kids that are about to start kindergarten in our neighborhood. Ahhh, the things I do for the love of my child. :) I want her to know as many people as possible when she starts school so she wont feel afraid or alone without me. This is a great opprotunity for her to make some friends. I'm pretty excited even though I am not a 'playgroup' kind of girl. It's going to be pretty big though (we need to wear nametags) so it will be more of a let the kids run around and then we can just chit chat. I like chit chat. I just don't like sitting in circles singing songs with 2 kids on my lap. I shouldn't be mean but moms are crazy. And sleep deprived. Y'all know the type of moms I'm talking about. I used to be one of them. That's why I breastfed Kim for 21 months. At first it seemed like a good idea but then Kimberly just.wouldnt.stop. She literally sucked the desire to ever attachment parent another child out of my body. I just can only give so much. That's why Kenny loves his crib so much...he doesn't have a choice! Whoa...tangent! Sorry!

The mom that is putting the whole thing together sent out a phone/email list of all the moms that have signed up. Since I'm a big dork, and since I have way too much time on my hands since Jeff is out of town, I looked up some email addresses on myspace. I only saw a few profiles that actually exsisted and they all looked nice. None of them, however, had a picture of them hanging on their husband, throwing horns in the air with their hands and having words like 'tequila' in their headline. I'm not going to change my pic because it makes me happy, but I am feverishly waiting for myspace to get back to me on changing my email address. I only have the one and I really don't want to scare any of these nice ladies to think that I'm a trainwreck. I at least need a chance to charm them with my witty banter before they judge me. That's how I corrupted the mormons in highschool. just kidding. :) I'm sure I'm worrying over nothing because I doubt anyone is as lame as me with myspace. I know I'm not 13 anymore and I'm not as cool as my teenage neighbor (she likes to remind me from time to time) but I luv me some myspace.

Okay...onto more important matters!

Kennen's foot was not any better this morning! I called my Ped and she squeezed me it to take a look at my sons purple club foot. Nothing makes a mother more terrified than being helpless to heal your child. The antibiotics weren't working so the Dr. stepped it up a notch. Now he's on super-duper antibiotics that can cause you to poop blood. This is a rare side effect but I have an over active worst case scenario imagination. I keep tip-toeing into his room to make sure he's breathing, foot is still elevated etc. The sweet little soul. Tears fill my eyes and my heart aches to think of him limping around, 'vrooming' his new car all over the living room. We've been calling the swollen foot the 'poop foot'. I want him to correlate smearing/stepping in poop with his nasty infection, but it's also pretty funny to hear him say 'poop foot' and then look up at me so seriously. I have to entertain myself somehow. :) I think I'm gonna sneak in and give him more tylenol so he doesn't wake up in's been about 7 hours since his last dose.


Sunday, June 3, 2007


Yesterday I was at Target with my neighbors sundress shopping. We were looking for something to wear to the work party that my husband had planned for the day and we really wanted our outfits to say, "Cinco Ranch Bitches". But...we shopped and shopped and found nothing except a couple of halter top tanks. Well, I found one dress but I didn't buy it because I didn't want to be 'Stella being Stella' again. Yes it was see-thru and it really enhanced my cheetah thong, lol. j/k!

Anyway, while we were there Patty noticed that Kennen's little foot was red and warm to the touch. I looked at it and chalked it up to another exzema flare up and ignored it. When I got home though I took off his little shoe and his foot was definitely swollen and painful when I touched it. I rushed him down to Urgent Care and waited to see a doctor for about an hour. Apparently he had some cracked skin due to his exzema on the bottom of his foot and some of the bacteria from his poop smearing party yesterday caused him to get an infection. They gave me antibiotics, steriods, tylenol with codein, and some external steroid cream to help his exzema after the infection cleared up. $200 later we were back at the house ready to party!

Jeff's friends from work are a lot of fun and I think a good time was had by all. I fell asleep while I was tucking in Kimberly but I woke up an hour later to men yelling in the backyard. I went to investigate and Jeff was on the ground wrestling with his secretary's boyfriend. Great. It was all in good fun though. Apparently Jeff's admin has been dating this guy for a few years and she wants to get married and he was saying that he 'knows she will wait as long as I tell her to wait.' Well, since Jeff is a happily pussy-whipped man, he just wasn't havin' that. I guess he thought the best way to send the message that you don't jerk around a good woman was to wrestle him to the gound and throw him around like a rag doll. Did I mention that Jeff used to do jiu-jitsu? I yelled him him to get up and stop acting like a big dumb animal. He listened and 5 minutes later I got him inside and into bed.

This morning Kennen woke up screaming! His little foot was hurting him so I busted out the tylenol with codeine! I dont advocate drugging your child but heck, if they have a prescription...and they are in pain...why not give them a teaspoon full of happy juice. Kenny was the jolliest little baby this morning. He was all sugar and smiles. I'm just hoping that this glimpse of a happy child will someday come true! I'm hoping that one morning he will wake up and become a delightful little 3 year old. Maybe he wont always be a grumpy little guy! Thank you tylenol with codeine for giving me that hope.

Friday, June 1, 2007


This morning I went to get Kennen out of his crib and he took off his fucking poopy diaper and peed all over his crib. I am going to duct tape his jammies from now on. At least this time he didn't smear the wall. The poor little soul was laying really still with this guilty look on his face when I went in today.

"Kennen! Did you poop?"

He nodded his little head but didn't move the rest of his body. I think he was trying not to roll in it. At least after doing this about 20 times, I finally have a system down for cleaning it up. I filled up the tub and just let him soak. Then I throw everything straight into the washing machine and use scrubbing bubbles on his crib. voila! No more poopy bed. I can't believe my life is so uneventful that I'm blogging about poop again. Sigh. Yes, I have become the mom that talks about my kids poop all the time. Sorry people, but I'm just shocked at the sheer volume of shit I am responsible for cleaning. Or digging out of constipated kids. Or scrubbing off the wall. Or painting over. Or wiping out of mouthes. Or picking out of fingernails. Or plunging out of toilets. Shit.

Plus we are having a party tomorrow for Jeff's co-workers so I have to get the smell out. Patty, I need you to come over later and smell my house for me. I'm immune to it since i'm up to my elbows in poo every day. Thanks a bunch!