brrrrr

OMG I forgot how much I hate being cold. I can handle a Texas summer with no a/c in my car, but this cold front is making me miserable. I'm too cold to do anything. I just want to curl up in a ball and cuddle with my boy. So that's what I've been doing today, :).

So I might be able to swing a trip to Arizona, but now I'm getting cold feet. My in-laws are not going to be at home in AZ so now I'm not sure if I want to come. Jeff will not be able to come with me and the only other people in the world that help me with the kids are my in-laws. This means that even if I go out there I will have my kids 24/7 in a non-childproofed house without any help. No thank you. I tried to talk to my Mom to feel out exactly how 'grandmotherly' she will be this trip, hinting that I am intimidated by the thought of coming out there with no help. She basically said, yes traveling with kids is hard and if you think you are going to be miserable, then maybe you should stay home. I definitely didn't hear, "Yes I would love it if you went galavanting off with your friends while I watch your kids." My in-laws have spoiled me big time. They always take over when they visit. They actually prefer to babysit when I'm not there because then they don't have to adhere to all of my pesky rules, like no M&M's for lunch and no backtalk and bedtime at 8:30.

I can't really blame my Mom. I do understand where she is coming from. Single mom, works full time and has her whole life. She wants to see me and the kids, but she doesn't want to watch them for me. I'm not bitter. I've learned to know what to expect from her. It still sucks though because I really miss AZ. I need In and Out burger and a carne asada burrito. To see the brown dusty desert surrounding the polluted skyline of the valley of the sun while my plane lands makes me want to weep with joy. I want to go home.

I just have a feeling that it's going to be a huge expense and a huge headache. I just need to go. What do you think? Should I stay or should I go?