Today I was in my bathroom doing my makeup and I heard Kimberly yelling "MooooooOOOOOOooooooom". One of my pet peeves is being called like that. She knows that if she wants something that she has a better chance of getting it if she comes to me and doesn't 'becon' me into the room. I tell her that she's the one with the young legs. :) I kept hearing, "I can't get my toolbelt! I can't get my toolbelt!" I count to ten, take a deep breath and put on eyeliner.
A second later she came running into the bathroom with her swimsuit around her ankles and said, "I can't get my poop out!"
Apparently I misunderstood.
Ew. This is a job for Mom unfortunately. She sits down and she leans her little head against me while I rub her lower back and tell her to relax. She started to push and then she SCREAMED out in pain!
"It's too biiiiii-guh!" :( I saw panic in her eyes. I tried calming her down for a full 5 minutes but she just cried and cried. I had her stand up and turn around so I could see and it looked like her butthole was 4cm dialated and her turd was at a 1+ station. OMFG! It was huge! I was horrified but I kept my voice nice and calm...
'Just sit down and relax...Mommy needs to get something'. I mentally prepared myself with a game plan as I got a latex glove and some aquaphor. When I first reached in, I just pushed the turd back up and Kimmy face perked right up and said, "That's better...it's gone now. It went back up," she said all this while trying to pull her swimsuit back on. I convinced her to try to push one more time but it got stuck again. I dug in again and felt around and realized that I had to turn it before pulling it out because it was not 'pointed' down but 'laying' across. Poor Kimmy-girl. Poor Mommy. I made my move quickly and in about 5 seconds I was holding the biggest...turd...ever!
"Whoa! That's better!" was all Kimmy-girl said. She eyed what I was holding with open mouthed astonishment. Then she washed her hands and ran off to go swim again.
Don't say I never did anything for you kid.
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Just a warning...don't read this post if you are eating anything right now
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5 comments:
You have got to be the best mom ever!!!! I don't know that I could've done that.
Oh my! That is funny and crazy all at the same time. Can you imagine if she had to ask Jeff if you were not there.
As awful as that was for her, the way you tell the story is far more hilarious than anything I could have ever put together.
It's so sad when they get constipated!! Heck, I'm 10 weeks pregnant and the Zofran I take to stop my vomiting makes ME constipated and I can't stand it!!!
Reading this again, still almost makes me shoot soda out my nose from laughing so hard. I try not to think about someday having to do this for my girls. But I will face that day when it comes. Until then...lots of fiber!!!
Okay I know this was over a year ago but I'm just decided today to read your entire blog and I'm right now, laughing so hard, I'm crying.
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