I have so much to say, but I can't get it out. I flew into AZ on Thursday morning and spent the afternoon with my grandmother and my cousins. I watched her process the fact that her husband of 66 years was dead. They are from Poland and even though she is a 91 year old woman, she still has so much innocence about her. I think that he shielded her from the world. She seemed like a broken little child for the most part, but I am surprised and relieved that she had moments of strength and clarity. She wants to stay in her house. I'm not sure how that is going to work because she cannot drive and she was refusing to eat or drink anything.
I offered to stay with her one night, but she told me, "It's okay! I'm not afraid of ghosts."
Um. I kind of meant to lean a shoulder to cry on and to make sure she had some dinner, but I'm glad that she has some fight left in her.
The wake on thursday and the mass on friday morning both left me completely mentally and emotionally drained. I want to write more about it, but I just don't want to go there.
Thank goodness I have my girls in AZ that took me out on Friday night! :D I'm still waiting for them to send pictures so I can post about that. Ahem...you hear that Tanya? Where's my damn pictures? I spent the rest of my time there with family. I love my cousin Ashley to pieces and it's really sad to know that our kids are growing up without knowing each other.
This trip really reminded me of the wealth of people that love me back in my hometown. For the first time I have really wanted to move back. I told Jeff and he was annoyed. We have so much here and do I really want to mess up a good thing? I guess that I am just going to have to settle for visiting more often. It has been way too long...the last time I was there was June of 2006. I am thinking of bringing the kids out during spring break. We shall see...
Oh, and the most important thing happened while I was in Arizona! Jeff and I celebrated our 6 year anniversary! We were 3 states apart, so we had to settle for phone sex...
kidding...
:D
Monday, January 21, 2008
I'm back
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2 comments:
Glad you are back, you were missed :)
Love your blogs dear. Just love them. I'm thinking about going back for Spring Break too. Will you fly or drive?
Let me know and maybe we can all go together. I hate to fly alone. Since it takes, like what, 2 days to drive, that would take away the only free time we'd have, so flying might be better.
I keep telling Thong I want to move back to AZ too. I've even considered going back withOUT him. Do I want to do that? Do I want to give up everything I have here, the life, the lifeSTYLE, being a stay at home mom, my husband and everything else just so I can be back??? Maybe. The verdict is still out...
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