Everything is bigger in Texas

including my Christmas tree. It was labeled a 7-8 foot tree, but I think it had an unfortunate accident where its pointy top was cropped. It is 6 feet in diameter and maybe 8 feet tall. It's roly-poly. And it makes my heart beat with holiday happiness.

I picked out my tree and I was so excited. It was so full and it looked huge for a 7-8 foot tree and even the guy there was like, 'Whoa'. After I got it home, I realized that my tree stand wouldn't fit my mammoth tree trunk so I had to go back to H.D. And then Kennen fell asleep in the car in the 3 minutes it took to get there.

Home Depot has their tree selling station in the parking lot, so I drove up, picked out a tree stand (that fits up to a 12 foot tree) and asked the lady if I could pay for it there. In the meanest, most hateful voice she could muster she said, "We don't have a way to take your money. You can pay for it in the garden center". Shit. Kennen was asleep in the car. I didn't want to wake him but I couldn't walk away and leave him. She sighed and turned her back to me and ignored me while I tried to get her attention to help me. Then some guy turned on a saw and my helpful employee walked away. Kennen was sleeping in the car so I just decided to drive over to the garden center. It's amazing the attention shoplifting gets you. I got in my car with the tree stand on my lap, preparing to drive 30 feet to the garden center and she came running over to my car, "MA'M! MA'M! I CAN CARRY THAT OVER FOR YOU!" That's when I told her I wasn't interested in stealing a tree stand and I tried to have her help me but she disappeared into the mini-forest of Christmas trees and that I just was driving to the garden center because my son was sleeping. She actually apologized profusely and smiled (!) and said she would be happy to help me. That must be part of their loss prevention training. 'Smile at the little deviants and pretend to give them the benefit of the doubt.' Bitch.

But! But this is where my story takes a turn! This is where I tell you that me and another lady both park right at the cash register of the garden center. This is where someone actually smiled, genuinely, and said, "We must have the same idea...get in and out and fast as possible." She already had a flat of yellow flowers in her hand. I said I have to keep an eye on my son because he is sleeping. Then she let me go in line ahead of her. Then we talked about flowers. And how gardening is good for your soul. Then, bless her heart, she gave me a $10 off coupon. It's funny how the kindness of strangers touches you. She was salve to my jaded soul and I wanted to hug her and say thank you for restoring my faith in humanity. But instead I paid for my tree stand and told her 'Merry Christmas'. Amen

So, my tree is phat. It has no point. But with a little scheming from my neighbors, I duct taped my star to an old broom stick and stuck it down into the top of the tree. It kind of works. :)

Here...see for yourself:

Ummm, this corner wont work because I can't get to the hallway.



Sorry they are so blurry, but have you ever taken a picture of a lit tree? The slightest movement causes all the lights to blur. Oh well. It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas...