I'm so not in the Christmas spirit.

It doesn't feel like the Holidays at all. Maybe I'm just pouting because y'all know where I want to be...back in AZ. But I'm stuck in Texas. It's becoming my home. Maybe it is just sinking in that I'm going to be here permanently. The kids school has exemplary status. Jeff loves his job and his job has been $weet to him. I have great friends here. My son is developing a Texas drawl...Mow-uh (more), bah-yum (bam!), Pooh-bay-uh (Pooh Bear), Gawg (Dog). This is my home now. I watched some show on the Hells Angels the other night because they were based out of Arizona. All of the footage was of ghetto ass Apache Junction (I know there are nice area of of AJ now, but to me it will always be trailer parks and tumble weeds). I saw purple mountains in the background and lots of desert. *sniff*

I really try not to ever feel sorry for myself. I don't let myself wallow in regret. I keep my mind moving forward and focus on the positive. I don't feel like decorating for Christmas. I don't want to make Christmas cards. I really don't even care about the stupid tree. But I am staying true to my word and we are putting up our tree this weekend. Kimberly keeps asking me in painful anticipation, is it Friday yet??? Maybe if I go through all the motions eventually the Christmas cheer will infect me. So my to do list is: make Christmas cards. Wrap presents. Plan Kennens preschool party. Deck the Halls with fucking Boughs of Holly.