miss Mary MAC MAC MAC, all dressed in BLACK BLACK BLACK!**

Last week the know it all MAC counter girl told me that my skin is patchy and damaged from being dehydrated and in the sun, and that was why the makeup didn't look good on me. As you know, I bought it anyway...because it was $30 for the foundation and $20 for the pressed powder and that meant it was good stuff right? I was the one that was flawed and if only I use their creamy facewash and moisturelush moisturizer, my skin would be healed and their shitty MAC foundation would make me look flawless. Right?

Wrong!

I have been washing and moisturizing and my skin looks and feels fabulous. Their skincare products rock...for me at least. Perfect canvas for foundation application you would think. The shitty base started flaking and cracking. The powder is crap and not fine milled at all. I'm going back to Bare Minerals.

I could have straight up returned these but since they are on my magical credit card, I felt a little sad that I would go home with nothing. This card is my only indulgence. I rack up $200. I pay it off over 4 or 5 months. Then I go back and buy something completely frivolous again. It keeps me from becoming a frump a dump.

Aaaaaaaanyway, I explained to a new MAC counter girl that I hate their foundation and that I tried to love it but i hate it, and would she please give me a makeover? Apparently MAC girls are trained to tell you that you have shitty skin because she looked at my dewy youthful recently pampered skin and said, "Yeah...your skin is really uneven isn't it." This tactic is common in military training too...they break you down before they build you back up again. But she is shiny and sparkly and lovely and I want to be shiny and sparkly and lovely too so I sat in her chair and let her give me whore face 'smokey' eyes. And by 'smokey', I mean she gave me the, 'when my husband hits me it means he loves me' look.

I said no way, and so she scurried about collecting more pots of eyeshadow and expensive 'must have' application brushes. The result this time was so fucking fabulous! THIS was the result I had always wanted with my eyemakeup but could never do myself. Their colors are so vibrant and they actually stay put when you put them on. I'm in eyeshadow heaven.

I give their foundation a 2. I give their powder a 1. I give their eyeshadow a mutha fucking 10!




*Gah! I just wanted to apologize for my boring ass makeup post. I have no recent blog fodder moments to write about. If I don't use my creative expression I tend to lose it. I am doing y'all a favor here by writing randomly It keeps me from going into complete writers block mode and before you know it I will forget my password on blogger and I will never post again. So read about my makeup escapades and nod and smile. :D I will try to get a life...I swear.

**Oh, and did you notice that the MAC counter girls really do wear all black?