Somebody has been talking...

...and his name is Kennen! That's right, it's true! He seems to be in the throes of an english language explosion. He has been speaking in sentences. Not perfect grammar, but perfect sentances. Last night we were walking home from Vamos Fesjevar...brasilian style, and Jeff was carrying Kennen. Usually my boy is the first one to fall asleep but he was still wide awake and Jeff said, "You are a party animal, aren't you bud?"

"No! I Nenen! (with his little finger pointed at himself) Daddy ary a-mal" It was hilarious! We asked him a few more times if he was a party animal but he just gave us exasperated, "NO! I Nenen!" Too cute!

Then this morning he was grabbing his rear end and saying, "Ewww, Nenen poop!" I asked him where his wipes were and he pointed up up stairs and said, "Nenen ipe up dere in Nenen oom." (Kennen's wipes up there in Kennens room).

I am so excited! I'm so proud! He has struggled so long and now it's finally coming together. So many people told me that one day he will wake up and speak in complete sentances. There is still a lot of "Uh-eeee, Uh-eye, Uh-nenen, Uh-uhhhhh" talk but it is finally becoming discernable.

Anyway, last night we went to our friends house for a brasilian party. My friends husband is from Brazil and they had a simple but amazing meal of beans, rice and meat. OMG it was so yummy!! What's even more amazing is my first experience with Capirinias. It's a drink made up of Vodka, limes and sugar and holy hell is it yummy. You literally can't taste the vodka. It just tastes like very limey sprite. All the kids behaved great too! I think being in a new house with new toys mesmerized all the littles and there was hardly any fighting. Oh, and one more thing about Laura's house. She has lived in her house for almost a year now and her carpet it perfect. How a person with 2 kids under the age of 3 has immaculate carpet is beyond me. Not only is it stain free, but it doesn't look like it has ever been walked on. The only thing I can figure is that they only walk on the carpet when company is over. The rest of the time, they must fly through the house and hover over their lovely carpet. Seriously.

Ingrid Michaelson on Carson Daly -

BTW...I love this song. I can relate because Jeff still loves me and wants me even I'm being 'Mommy in the Mirror' (You know...that freakishly strong mean version of the blonde Mom that lives in the mirror on Hero's?).

Maybe...

Maybe my child isn't demon spawn. Maybe I'm just PMSing. I've been know to do that from time to time. ;)

Last night we went to gymnastics. Kimberly was doing great and she was having so much fun with her little friends. Okay, she can do basic gymnastic stuff, but the truth is, she is built like me...and um, I have little to no athletic ability. She is built for a catwalk...not a balance beam. But, in true Kimmy-girl style, she had rounded up a heard of little girls to be her friends. I'm proud of that. She is like her Daddy apparently...she doesn't know a stranger.

So, I was watching Kim and I felt an outpour of pride and love for my little social butterfly. Then this lady was standing right behind me and talking loudly the whole time. I just wanted her to shut the fuck up. She was so loud and she seriously wouldn't stop. Um, okay your story about you 9 year old daughters slumber party is mentionable...but I dont fucking care to hear every painful detail for the entire hour of gymnastics. Oh, and you kid is dropping shit (candy and candy wrappers) all over the floor. If you don't want to teach her how to clean up after herself, then at least do the world a favor and pick it up for her. Idiot.

Whew! It was at this point that I knew I was being unreasonable and totally off my rocker with PMS rage. I've talked to this mom almost every week of gymnastics so why all of the sudden was she so annoying? Why was Kim so annoying? Why was the dog so annoying? Even Kennen was bugging me. Eureka! The common denominator is me!

It was the last 10 minutes of gym and then Kennen pointed over my shoulder and cried, Da-deeeeeeee! I rolled my eyes and looked to see which man my child was confusing with his father but Jeff was there! My hero! What a great surprise! He is pretty much the only person I want to be around if I'm in a mood because he is just so darn entertaining. He turned my frown upside-down when he agreed to go to dinner next door. And would you believe it? They had a live blues band playing! How fun! And then get this...they had f.r.e.e. wine tasting! It's a greek restaurant so I had a gyro, hummus, wine, cheese....ahhhhhhhh just what this hormonal girl needed to remember that this is a beautiful world we live in. Oh, and thank G-d it's friday!

Mothers and Daughters #2

G-d Damnit!SHITFUCKSHITFUCKSHITFUCKMOTHERFUCKER! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Wow, I actually feel a little better.

Kim is still complaining about every little thing. I feel my blood pressure rising just thinking about it. How do you teach a 5 year old the crucial life lesson: You can choose to be happy or you can choose to be miserable. Your perspective and attitude really do dictate your happiness. Maybe I should take my own advice. I should expect my kids to be the ungrateful little buggars that they are...maybe I wouldn't be so disappointed when they complain about pancakes for breakfast.

Oh yes. I waved the white flag this morning and whipped up a batch of pancakes for my Kimmy-girl. They are her favorite and I thought it would get our morning off to a good start. But no. She complained because I didn't let her 'stir' the batter. She complained because she thought Kennen had the bigger pancake. Then she didn't want butter. She didn't want me to cut them. She wrinkled her nose and poked at them with a fork. Just shut up, eat, and say thank you, okay?

Motherhood has always been thankless, from the little piglets I nursed for hours on end, to the 5 year old who refuses to wear the school clothes I bought her. Perfectly good new clothes that we picked out together. She wants to wear this ratty ass tank top from last year that is too short. AAAAARRRRRGHHHHHhhh! I know that I'm not here to be Kim's friend, but if she would just not fight me tooth and nail and constantly complain, I could at least be sane Mommy. I actually sent Jeff upstairs to deal with her because I know if I stayed to convince her to put on some respectable clothes, I would have bashed my head against the wall.

Please Lord let this be a phase. Didn't I read somewhere in a child psychology book that 5-6 year old children disassociate themselves from the same sex parent? I miss her. Attachment parenting my ass.

On a positive note, she is really doing well at school. I cant believe how much she is learning! I am so proud of her and I love sitting down with her at the end of the day to do homework. She is so bright and funny! She gets mad at me when I correct her, but I can tell that she does listen to me and she is doing great.

I just remembered one thing. This morning at the bus stop she ran off to talk to a group of little girls and she was playing with them until the bus came. When the bus came, she got in line and I was pretty far away from her and wasn't going to push a kiss goodbye. She stood waiting for a minute and then I saw her little face scanning the crowd looking for me. I hurried over and gave her a quick kiss and told her to have a good day and she actually smiled. Halle-friggin-leuia.

Random

Wow! I feel like I can barely catch my breath! I have been running around like a crazy lady. I guess I was disillusioned when I thought that I would spend every Monday and Wednesday lounging around my house. Or getting facials.

Speaking of facials, I was talking to my asian neighbor yesterday while we were waiting for the bus to drop the kids off after school. I've not really ever talked to her, but I think she felt compelled to talk to me since earlier that morning we jogged past each other but were both too out of breath to have a real conversation. She told me I was so beautiful and so young!

"How old you are?"

"28."

"Ohhhhh, you so young! You so beautiful..." She smiled at my face and then furrowed her brow.

"Oh, you have stress all over your face. You break out? You need facial. You too young to let your skin look like that. You need to moisturize...you need to exfoliate."

Apparently Delia had a beauty salon in San Francisco before she started living the Cinco Ranch lifestyle. She that I was too young to have crappy skin a few more times and then the kids got off the bus and she walked away. I was telling my friend Laura about it and I could not stop laughing. Unbelievable. The funny thing is that I'm not at all offended about it. She really did say it as sweetly as possible. It was sort of a wake up call really because I don't take care of my skin anymore. Delia is 40 and her skin is as fresh as a baby's bottom. I went inside and pondered my pores and then I pondered google on how to do a home facial. I used whatever I could find around the house, and my skin does actually feel a little smoother. My favorite discovery was a homemade sugar scrub made with equal parts sugar and warm water. It really is a gentle exfoliant. I really should invest in some quality face products. I guess that's why G-d made Macy's charge cards. :)

This weekend was great! My in laws came and spoiled everyone, plus my mother in law taught me how to knit. Jeff was appaled. He made me promise him that I wont turn into his mother. :) When I was halfway done with my scarf, I asked him if he liked it. He said yeah, sure...it's great. I told him he was going to be so warm this winter! Now he is very scared...and he should be!

I have been trying to think of something fun that the kids can be for halloween. I want them to 'match'. The best idea I have heard yet is Little Bo Peep for Kimberly, and the Sheep for Kennen. Cute huh? Jeff said that was lame. I told him he was lame. So, does anybody out there have any other ideas?

SPI

I *finally* got the pictures from our trip to South Padre Island last May. They were stuck in a disposable camera in Jeff's fishing bag for the last 4 months. OMG I can't wait until we can go again. Jeff already has 3 free nights at the hotel with his points. Oh, but get this...he seriously wants to trade in our free night points for a fucking shaved ice margarita machine. I'm speechless.

Are you kidding me? You mean you want shaved ice instead of an annual vacation that saved my sanity earlier this year?

"No Baby, listen...it's not like a regular blender...it SHAVES the ice. I don't think you know what I'm talking about...you've probably never had a margarita with shaved ice."

WTF???

All that I can say is that he is his mothers son. She loves gadgets and she loves to share them with me. She is the only reason that I own anything from pampered chef. Oh, and he also doesn't think it's that big of a deal now because I'm relativly calm, cool, collected and sane. Just wait until next April when I'm really burnt out from the kids and calling him 50 times a day to asking him when he is coming home to help me. I'll ask him then if he wants to give me shaved ice, or if he wants to give me a room with an oceanfront view for 5 nights.


Here's an example. This is me and Jeff on the first morning of out little vay-cay. I am not relaxed yet and I want my damn coffee.

Don't I look tense? I am smiling for the camera but I don't mean it. Do I look fun to be around? I would say no, that by the look on Jeff's face, I'm not at all fun to be around right now. He is counting the minutes until breakfast if over and he can get his pole wet. His fishing pole, that is.


This is the day before we came home and we had just spent the afternoon day drinking on a Bay fishing charter. We caught Whiting and we drank a 12 pack of beer. Don't I look...happy? I'm rockin' the trucker had that I bought for $3 to keep the sun out of my eyes. I had so much fun. I was so much fun to be around. Hey look at that...see Jeff's smile? There's your proof:
If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. I'm already counting down the days for our trip next year. And *that* makes me very happy!

p.s. I'm also counting down the hours until my in-laws get here. Yipee! If I want to go for a quick run? I can strap on my shoes and go! Well, go by myself and not worry about sunblock, juice boxes, and teddy grahams to keep little man occupied. If I want to sleep in? Grandma loves doing the morning thing with the kids. I heart them!

Barnacles!

I broke my blog! I tried a new template and I don't like it but now not only do I not like my template, but now I've lost my blogroll links. Tartar Sauce! I'm too pissed to fix it now. Ugh. I dont know what I was thinking. What do I think this is, myspace? argh! I know I want to personalize my blog but I think I need to do a digital scrapbook thingy for my masthead and leave the rest alone. Anyone know how to help me? Keikicakes? I think I will take you up on your offer. Okay, now I really have to clean the guest room! Bye!