AZ trip...phase one.

I had a blast in Arizona! The first people that I saw, other than my in laws, were my college girlfriends Jenn and Rose. I love these girls to pieces! We had a fun night out at a local Irish pub and then came home and went swimming. I love drunk night swimming! There were about 6 or 7 of us in the pool and was a great way to unwind after a night out. The only problem was that I got fr-fr-freezing in the pool. Everyone started saying, "Go take a hot bath! Yeah! You will feel so much better!" My drunk brain thought that was the best idea ever!

This is where my brain gets fuzzy. I remember that the hot water wasn't hot. I remember trying to turn off the water and getting out of the tub. I remember twisting the knob forevah without the water turning off. What the fuck! I twisted it more and more and then just though, 'fuck it!' The next thing I remember is being on the sofa and mumbling to someone that I couldn't turn the tub off. The end.

In the morning Jenn and I woke up to her dogs barking and she sat on the couch and we just talked and laughed. Then I said something like, "Oh, I couldn't turn off the bath water last night."

She said, "I know, Steve (her husband) had to turn the water off to the whole house. You like pulled the fucking knob off the wall!" Wha-What???

I guess my super Polish freak strength was just too much for their shower knob. I was mortified! Well, sort of mortified, sort of amused. Her husband was a sweetie and is thankfully pretty handy because he made a trip to the hardware store and then brought us Del Taco for breakfast. Jenn, you married a good one! He fixed my fuck up and the water was back on in no time.

Jeff was on his way home that night. His plane home from Alaska had actually landed that morning. He called me as he was driving home from the airport and I told him all about our night...all about the swimming/shower/breaking stuff story, and then I said, "I don't even remember how or when I put my clothes back on. The last thing I remember was being in the shower and now I'm on the couch but I really don't remember the details. I must have done a good job though because I'm dressed, lol."

I thought his reaction would be jovial and would think, "Awww, I love my silly drunk Stella," but no. He flipped his shit. He went on and on all day long saying things like, "irresponsible", "you have such a double standard...you would kick my ass if I got naked at a party". He's right. I would kick his ass. But I was changing in the bathroom...not exactly 'naked at a party'. I don't think he's ever been so angry at me though!

He even said the 'D' word. Well he said, "This isn't something that I am going to divorce you over, but I am really pissed off." which isn't exactly using the 'D' word in a bad way but it was said nonetheless. It was enough to make me mind my P's and Q's the rest of my trip. And I let him spank me when I got home. j/k! :D

Here is a picture of Jenn, myself and Rose at the bar:

I'm back...and busy!

My Mom and I drove back to Texas on Sunday. We started Sunday morning and drove until 4am Monday morning. Yeah, I think we are a little nuts but we are a determined set of girls. Kimberly was the voice of reason and kept insisting that we stop and get a hotel but my Mom and I were feeling good (or high on Red Bull and coffee) so we kept going all night long.

I love that my Mom is here with me. I wish she would just leave behind her life in AZ and permanently move into the guest room. :D She has been spring cleaning my house and my baseboards have never looked this good. We also went school shopping yesterday and got a ton of stuff from Janie and Jack. They had a great sale and there stuff is gorgeous! I'm really bummed out because I only discovered them a few months ago but they only carry clothes up to a size 6 in the store and they only makes clothes up to size 8 online. Bummer. I want to avoid Limited Too for as long as possible. No slutwear for my little girl please! *(to be fair it isn't all slut wear...but I walked into that store yesterday and it just...felt...wrong! Like Jon Benet beauty pagent wrong. Oh yes, I've turned into my mother.) I rounded out Kim's wardrobe with some more basic stuff from Target and now we are ready for the school year. Okay, that is a lie. I haven't purchased school supplies yet. Bad Mommy.

I have so many stories to tell from my trip to Arizona, but no time to do it! I am going to post updates chronologically of what happened while I was on vacation. The first post will go into detail on how I royally pissed of my husband. Bad wife!

I'm rested.

I think I understand how people can be hospitalized for exhaustion. Maybe I'm being dramatic but I was so tired when I got to AZ that I could not sleep. It's taken 2 days of rest at Casa De In Laws for me to finally feel human again. I can see how a human can be tortured by not being allowed to sleep.

Now I'm ready to start having fun! :D I talked to my friends Jenn and Rose and we have plans to go out on Friday. Something about martini's. And they mentioned dancing. Oh lord I'm such a friggin nerd now that I don't even know how to shake my groove thang anymore. But I'm excited! I told them I have nothing to wear and Jenn offered to let me raid her closet. It's almost like college again. I love these girls so much and they were my best friends during the year that I met, fell in love and married Jeff. I can't say that it was the 'best' year of my life because my children hold that place in my heart...but that year was definitely the most fun!

I'm a jerk

Like you know when you like never cry? And then you drive 10 hours, stress out about your husband that is drunk in a bar in Alaska, sleep for 3 hours, and then drive for 8 more hours? And you start your period that day plus realize that you have forgotten your Lexapro and it has been 2 days without happy pills? And also lets just throw in the 4 am IBS.

So you know when your Mom gets on the phone and you say, "Oh yeah...everthing's great!" But she knows you too well so she starts to pry and then she, "Poor baby's" you and you are reduced to a blubbering mess?

Yeah...that was my day. The only thing was that my sobbing started and once I got to my in laws house...and i.could.not.make.it.stop. How embarassing. This is when they are so great to me and cheer me up. Just like a real family. So maybe I bitch about them just like a real family too. I'm sorry in laws. I know you never (nor will you ever!) read my blog but if you do I love you and I know i'm a bitch. And you love me anyway...so thank you.

Still in Texas...

...but just barely! I had the kids in truck and we were out of the driveway by 7:30am, and 10 1/2 hours later I'm still in Texas. I'm in El Paso which is the crotchety junction where Juarez, Mexico...The border of New Mexico, and Texas all meet.

Despite the crotchety location of El Paso...it's actually quite a nice little city. Well the western end of it is. Lots of nice restaurants and shopping centers. The eastern part has a nice view of Mexico...shanty towns and all. Oh, and it also has a great view of the ever popular and ever poisonous Asarco.

I talked to my in laws this evening and told them that I will call and tell them when I leave in the morning. I said, "It just depends on what time we finish breakfast in the morning."

They said, "That's great that they have a free continental breakfast!"

I said, "Oh well we are going out to breakfast somewhere else but I will let you know when we are on our way."

They said, "Oh well you could just eat the free continental breakfast in the hotel. They probably have waffles!"

I said, "Well I like to be served sometimes and I'm on vacation so I'll just go out somewhere else tomorrow morning. But I will call when I am on my way."

They said, "Oh well...the continental breakfast is free..."

I said, "okayigottagobye!"

OMFGMFMFMFMFFFFFFG! (yes, every 'F' means FUCK!) They drive me nuts. This is why I am only spending 3 days with them even though I will be in Phoenix for 14 days. I will eat breakfast where I want to, thank you very much. And Kimberly requested Cracker Barrel...who am i to say no?

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All the anger is above the line. Down here, below the line is excitement! I will see my old friends. Today when I was driving, it rained. The smell was so fresh and amazing. Nothing like the humid city of Houston that I live in. When it rains there it just smells like swamp. I love the desert.

I will see my Mama. My cousin. My brother and be there for my nieces first birthday party. She is the most beautiful baby ever by the way. I am a very proud Auntie. Tomorrow I will be in AZ...home...hooray!

I read this joke from a friend on myspace...

...and it made me laugh...because it's TRUE!

Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, sneak up the stairs, get undressed in the bathroom, and stick my foot in the toilet and pee down my leg to prevent splashing sounds.

I ease into bed and my wife still wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!"

His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, pee hard into the toilet water, use the full flush, throw my shoes in the closet, undress in the bedroom, jump into bed, slap my wife on the ass, and say, 'Who's horny?' and she acts like she's sound asleep.

It works every time

Have a great day! :D

I'm having...

...a financial related panic attack.

Does anybody want to give me money? Anybody? No? Awww, it's cool.

I just had a conversation on the phone with Jeff and we talked about me going to work, how much I could make, how much daycare and gas would cost...and it turns out I will make about $200 per week. That is $800/month. Sounds great to me!

Jeff said we will buy a smaller house or rent before that happens. Seriously, what the fuck? He would rather move that have me contribute financially? I'm really not sure why. Is it really because he doesn't want our kids in daycare? Or is it because he gets off on knowing he is the provider. Does he want to keep me in a pumpkin shell? I don't know. The thing is, that while I have many redeeming qualities, I'm not the best stay at home Mom. I 100% love and adore my kids and I get a lot of personal satisfaction out of being there for them. But do I love and adore laundry? Dishes? Do I shut my mouth like a nice little kept woman? Nope. I'm always one step behind and I can be such a moody bitch. Why does he like me so much? I'm not sure but I am glad.

I have been answering craigslist ads to do childcare from home. I want to watch a baby. I want a baby in my house, but I don't want to birth it myself. I want more money in this house, but my husband doesn't want me to work. It seems like a win win situation.

Why don't you think he wants me to work? Have I been tricked into being his personal slave, or am I spoiled? I cannot decide...