He lived a reckless life

My larger pink kissing fish kicked the bucket sometime in the night. I came into the kitchen to make coffee this morning and I saw his crusty little body laying next to the fish bowl. :( Poor guy. It's his own fault though. He always picks on the little fish whenever it's time to eat and when they fight near the surface, they usually splash around. He must have been charging full speed at the little fish before flying through the air onto my counter top.

This is the same fish that Kennen tried to kill last year. Somehow Kennen took the fish out of the fishbowl and he must have been laying on the tile floor for 20 minutes until i found him waving his little flippers frantically. For a few days he swam in circles and floated upside down and I expected him to die, but somehow the brain damage repaired itself and he became the big bully of the fish bowl once again.

Until last night. I told Jeff it was an emergency and he had to come and help me, because there was no way I was touching that thing. Not only was he gross, but he was really sad looking too. His tail was curled up which means he didn't die laying down. The little soul was fighting to the end.

So now my day includes a trip to the pet store. You can't have one kissing fish...it takes two to tango. Or kiss...or whatever, lol!

Fever induced ramblings...

Damn it, I'm sick! Fever, chills, body ache...please send me to the infirmary. Tell the nanny I'll be home in a week. :)



I can't sleep but if I pad around my house at 3:00am I get totally winded and achy and tired. The kiddos woke me up bright and early for their breakfast. It's a good thing that G-d make kids really cute...especially in the morning with their bed hed. Well, Kennen was butt naked (He strips down every morning...I think to thoroughly enjoy my high tread count sheets) and had bed head but Kimberly was dressed, hair brushed, headband in her hair with a boa around her neck. Did I mention that I love the age 5? She is so self sufficient. Last night when I had my sick girl insomnia I crawled into bed with Kim and just held her. When she's sleeping she looks just like the baby I brought home from the hospital. While I was looking at her I remembered when I had that 'rush of love' that happens when you become a parent. It wasn't until she was about 10 days old. I had just fed her and she way laying on my pillow just looking around and blinking with her impossibly long eyelashes and smacking her little lips. Then she cooed at me and I died and came back to life. The love for my child hit me like a freight train. It happened with Kennen too, but it was less profound because I expected it, but it didn't happen with him until about 4 months or so. Up until that time I cannot explain how tired I was and I had been just going through the motions of sustaining his little life and doing what a good mom should. He was a miserable baby. One day though I was holding this big fat hulk of a man child and the freight train came crashing through my heart. It was a little different though. It was a protective love because even as a baby, I knew that I was pretty much the only one that he wanted and that I was the only one that really loved him the way he deserved. He just cried and cried and mutha-fuckin' CRIED. Everone passed him back to me. Except my Mother in Law, G-d love her. She didn't cringe at the crying until he became hysterical. Then I would take him and feed him and he would arch his back and scream and shake his little red face back and forth looking for food. When he finally calmed down and latched on, he would bite me. I learned not to react because if I jumped or gasped he would just tremble and cry. He has always tried to be a good boy, but he has always missed the mark just by an inch. And when he fails he has guilt, I swear. It's been interesting being his mother.



Whew! Back to being sick. I'm fucking cold! I've been hanging out with the blowdryer because I just can't get rid of my chills. I'm so glad I cleaned yesterday. Except for a bunch of toys the kids dragged down this morning, my house is clean and I can lay on the sofa with my iPod and knit guilt free! Peace out yo!

Hotlanta!

I just read the newest post over at Thepioneerwoman.com. In celebration of her 10th anniversary she is giving a recap of her love affair with her husband before they were married. O.M.G her last post gave me chills. Thank you P-Dub for reminding me of my own whirlwind romance. Jeff was a stranger in a bar, buying me and my friends drinks at day one, professing his love for me by week 3, and became my best friend. We bar hopped and he drove me all over northern Arizona and made me laugh until I'd cry. 7 months later I was pregnant and he was happy. How does that work? I wasn't happy but the hope and the love in his eyes were irresistable. I knew that spending my life with him would never be dull. We've only been married 5 years but so far our love has never run luke warm. We either love each other or we fight like demons. We have passion and he makes me feel alive. I'm a lucky girl.

If you want to read a cattle ranchers wife's love story...start here:

part 1
part 2
part 3
part 4
part 5
part 6
part 7
part 8
part 9
part 10
part 11
part 12

Oh, and go to thepioneerwomancooks.com and make her pico de gallo. And her chocolate cake. Hotlanta!

hungry girl I am!

Wow. Eating only 20 carbs per day is rough. I have other people tell me that the first 3 days are hard and that day 4 is when I will magically wake up with more energy than ever. I'm eating plenty but I never feel really satisfied. All I want is to cram 2 donuts into my mouth at one time and weep with joy at their doughy sweetness. This morning I was running errands and I stopped at Sonic and got a breakfast burrito...sans tortilla. Actually, the tortilla was in my car...it was in my lap acting like a plate for everything inside. There was a slice of tomato inside the burrito. Mmmmmmmmmm, I know fruits are off limits but most people are dumb and put them in the veggie group, right? Aren't I clever for finding a loophole? I ate the tomato slice and it was heaven.

You know what this feels like? It feels like the first 3 days of quitting smoking. I've quit many times in the past but I always started up again. I have quit for good for a few years now, but the cravings I'm having are very similar to smoking withdrawls. I'm not necessarily hungry. I just want to feed my carb monster. I'm also learning to make sure I don't get too hungry. The darkest hour is just before the dawn. I made a recipe off of the fabulous Living la vida lowcarb blog and it was so good. Pizza! But the crust was a broiled portabella mushroom. Sweet sweet jebus it was really good. I skipped the tomato sauce though. Not because I was feeling guilty about my clever tomato loophole, but I didn't have any tomato sauce in the house. Still...it was awesome! Anyway, I had a very weak moment while my pizza's were baking. Fortunately I found string cheese before the Chocolate teddy grahams. I just need to make sure that I have an emergency snack on me at all times.

So far I have lost nothing. I'm not sure what I expected after one day but I was a little bummed when I saw the needle pointing to *** again. I thought it would say *&% or at least **@. But no, it was holding firm at ***. Today I am not going to drink any diet soda and I walked 2 miles this morning. Oh, and i'm drinking lots of water. Did you know you literally pee out the fat in your body? I guess I never really thought about where the fat physically went.

My favorite time of year!

It just dawned on me that we are finally in the month of October! Hello holiday season! I've missed you! I love the cool dewy mornings. I'm really looking forward to having a fabulous Halloween. Next comes Thanksgiving...then, drum roll please, Christmas!!!!!!!!!!! Do you know how much I love Christmas? I love the cookies, the decorations from Crate and Barrel and Pier One! I cannot wait to go to garden ridge and go nuts with more decorations. I'm getting giddy just thinking about it. I've even purchased my 'holiday dress'. Normally $130, and I walked out the door with it for just $30. Oh, and the best part about it that it's a size 6. Now I am nowhere near a size six, but I think that the more expensive the store, the more 'forgiving' the sizes. Even if this dress was full price, I probably would have bought it because it looked fabulous on and was a SIZE 6! Moi? A size six? Yes of course I'm a size six...I've got the dress to prove it! I'm actually more of a 10 (a perfect 10 that is) and I will never be much less with my frame.

Speaking of my frame...it's time to pull out the big guns. I want to fully enjoy these next few months. Halloween candy, pumpkin pie, sugar cookies, turkey, stuffing, latkes and everything in between with a clear conscience. I don't want it to be full of self loathing and guilt for packing on holiday pounds...on top of my recent 10 that will not fucking budge. Until October 31, I am on a mission. I've actually started an Atkins-like diet today. I need to make a run to Sams Club to stock up on meat, cheese, eggs, broccoli, lard and imodium. :) Then once October 31st hits, I'm going to enjoy every tasty bite and not think twice about it...that is until January 1st...where my new years resolution will be to lose 10 lbs. Hopefully only 10 lbs. Sounds like a good plan, no? I've already started today and here is what kicked off my diet:

2 scrambled eggs with 1/2 cup of broccoli
Franks red hot cayenne pepper sauce. This makes everything taste like buffalo wings...es bien!
2 pieces of extra crispy bacon
2 cups of coffee with milk and splenda. I am making an allowance for milk carbs in the morning because Mommy is a bitch without a good cup of coffee.

Wish me luck!

http://livinlavidalocarb.blogspot.com Oh, and I found this website to inspire me with everything low carb.

One more thing...

Britney lost her babies.

I think that the courts made the right call with all of her recent behavior. Still though. I think that not having her kids is going to push her over the edge. A mother not having her children? It just seems to go against nature. I pity her.

Things that annoy me.

In celebration of my pms I am making a quick list of all the things that annoy me. I apologize to my (2) faithful readers...can you believe my blog has come to this?

-bicycle riders that think they are cars. Like riding in the middle of the road and then getting in the left turn lane. If I was in a 'city' then sure, riding a bike and pretending you are a car might make sense. But out here in the 'burb's? Get on the fucking sidewalk. Or at the very least stay to the far right of the road and use the sidewalks instead of the left turn lane. You are more of a pedestrian than a car.

-My son pooping his pants for 5 days straight. Today he finally used the toilet so maybe winds are changing again.

-Getting paid and then being broke 2 days later. Super fun.

-Where is that cold front everyone has been talking about? The air conditioning in my car is out. I really don't want to have to pay to fix it. See above.

-Being overzealous when I signed up to volunteer at school. I wanted to volunteer so I could stalk my daughter...but now that I know she is happy and safe, can I please have my Mondays and Wednesdays back. Please?

-My husband sleeping all weekend. Not because I necessarily want to 'hang out' with him when I'm hormonal, but he gets under the covers after I've already made the bed. grrrr.

-Not being able to lose 10 lbs.

I'm a snarky bitch. Where o' where is my "." ?