Sunburned and dehydrated and sooooOOooo relaxed

It's true. I had the best time this last week. For anyone that is considering South Padre for a little vacation, I definitely recommend it! Not only was it beachy and beautiful but the prices for everything from the food to the booze to the hotel room were super cheap. The room was amazing! It walked out onto the beach and I spent many mornings soaking up the sunrise and swimming while Jeff was sleeping because it was right outside the back door of our room.

OK, back to reality. Kennen is screaming so I will update more later. His scream no longer makes me want to jump out the window. I missed the little bugger. And the big bugger too. There were a lot of families at S.P.I with small children and at first I stayed as far away from kids as possible. As the days wore on though I missed my kids painfully. My heart literally ached. I would see little girls in bikinis splashing in the waves and chubby little buddy boys that looked like they needed a big hug from a stranger like me but I kept my hands to myself. Plus, all the kids we saw seemed to be an older girl and a baby boy. I told Jeff he needed to keep me busy to curb my pain.

We went parasailing (a little scary but mostly exhilirating), deep sea fishing for 8 hours (I thought this would be mostly a 'Jeff' activity but I loved it!), bay fishing the next day for 4 hours (I have mad fishing skills yo!), watched the sun set during dinner, hung out in the pool, got hammered while talking to a couple that were in their late 60's. I drank more vodka than water so now I am trying to rehydrate. I am so happy. I will post more details about my trip later...like the bay fishing trip that Jeff and I were obnoxiously drunk on and the nice man named David that I piercecd with a fishing hook. Jeff says it's a good thing I'm a girl because David had jailhouse tattoos and probably would have kicked my ass if I wasn't showing so much skin.

24 hours...

...and I can't wait to get the heck out of here! My wonderful in-laws are here spoiling my kids (meaning lots of presents and literally spoon feeding my 2 year old every meal. I'm trying to bite my tongue on that one). They are also spoiling me with a a day at the spa. I just got back and I'm freshly massaged and polished. I just need to think about packing (bikini? check! flip flops? check! deep sea fishing liscense? check! tampons? unfortunately, check!)

bon voyage!

summertime and the living's easy...

Yesterday felt the the first day of summer. I know it's technically June 21st...how do I know you ask? Because it's my birthday silly! Mark it on your calender. :)

The water park finally opened in my master planned community of suburban bliss. Yesterday morning the sun was hellishly hot so my neighbors and I slathered sunblock on the kids, slapped a couple of floaties on their little arms and threw the kids in the pool. Of course as soon as we got to the pool the sky became overcast and we had a gaggle of blue lipped shivering kids swimming circles around us. I even got hit on...tee hee. I was holding Kim and we were watching Daddy do flips off the diving board and then this man gets into the pool right next to me...smiled...came up really close to me and said, "It sure it cold, ha ha ha ha." Then he just stood there really close to me. Um...weird. I'm holding my kid. Are you even allowed to hit on a person holding their child? Jeff saw what was happening from across the pool and dove off the diving board and made a beeline over to me. Jeff gave him a look and the guy who thought I was hot finally moved out of my personal space. That's right baby, I'm just fending 'em off left and right. I'm kidding. I am so married that I don't even know how to flirt anymore.

After the pool Kimberly was just awful. She was totally exhausted but wouldn't take a nap and was total grumpy butt. We were having dinner and I made her a hot dog and she threw a monumental fit because her 'bun was broooooooookeeeeeeeeen'! Are you friggin kidding me? I tried to make it better...Kelly tried to make it better...Patty tried to make it better but she kept crying and crying. We just ignored her but she was devastated. Bung Chow's son Ian is one of Kimmy's closest friends. He just turned 5 and it is so cute to watch them play. They take little walks together and whisper and giggle get along really well. They really care about each other. Ian was telling her to just eat it, 'because it still tastes good!' She just threw her head back and cried and moaned, 'No it doesn't!' Then Ian did the ultimate sacrifice. He tore his hotdog bun into 2 peices and said, "See Kim, mine is broken too and I still like it."

You know what? It worked. She ate her damn hot dog. What a good friend.

I have been using my blog to get my frustrations out. I read somewhere that having children is like being pecked to death by a chicken. Sometimes I think that would be less painful. When I am putting Kimmy-girl for a well needed nap and she cries for the millionth time, "But I'm not tired...I'm not! I'm NOT! Momeeeeee!" Oh just please put me out of my misery. I love my husband. He is my best friend and he understands me. And he understands my sense of humor. I was talking to him on the phone tonight and he was verbally stroking my ego by telling me that he is so proud of me for taking such good care of the kids and he appreciates everything that I do. I was then telling him that I truely believe my outlook would be better if it wasn't for the horror that is Kennens cry. Then he said, "Can't we just have him de-barked?" He is the only other human on the planet that can say that to me without me becoming an angry Mama bear and ripping your head off but I can't express how much I appreciate his sense of humor when I'm losing myself in these little people that have taken over my life.

For those of you that have head Kennen lose it know what I am talking about. I have never heard a more terrible cry than the one my son is blessed with. You will be interested to know, the moment Kennen was born and inhaled for the first time was the only disillusioned split second where I enjoyed the thought that I made calm content babies like Kimberly. Imagine my horror when he screamed that first shrill hysterical scream. I am thankful for him though. I never knew what I was made of until he came along. I nurtured and adored this little tyrant even though he didn't love me back. At first anyway. Now I'm the only one he likes. Well, he finally likes Kimberly and Daddy too. He is unsure about the world around him and he searches my face when he is scared to see if 'everything is really ok'. I have to dig deep and bring out my best just for him to be secure in this world. You never know how you will love your second (or third or eleventh) child but I am shocked by the fierce love I feel for my little boy.

Kimberly has always been bomb-proof. She is so good and strong. I actually was naieve enough to give myself a lot of credit for Kimmy-girl being such a great baby. She is so well behaved and advanced because I am a superior mother, right? I now know that she is just a superior child and I am in awe of her. She is so beautiful and smart and funny! And she is a very self sufficient 4 year old. This works out well because I am a slacker Mom. j/k! Sort of.

Anyway, when I look back on what I write in the journal in 5 years I want to remember everything...not just what I was frusterated about. I adore my babies. I am lucky that I get to claim them as my own.

peace out yo!

have you seen my car keys?

Yeah, me neither.

This morning I woke up with tons of energy and was showered and dressed by the time my sleepy Kimmy-girl came downstairs. I fed her, folded laundry, got her ready for school, packed her lunch, dressed and fed the boy and we still had like 30 minutes until we had to leave for school. Wow, I'm totally on the ball today. At 8:30 I told them to get in the car and I grabbed my purse and...wait! Where the fuck are my keys? I looked in all the usual places and realized that they were totally gone. Damnit! I spent the next 45 minutes tearing apart the house with Kennen saying, Uh-Nennen, uh-eys (translation "Kennen...keys". Where's Mommy's keys bud? Go get them! He said 'help please' and started pulling on the step stool. I helped him set it up and he pushed over to the kitchen counter, climbed up and said, "Hi fish!" to the fishies. I rolled my eyes, took a deep breath and called Patti. She was there a little while later and loaded my moneys into her minivan and drove us to Kim's preschool. I told her teacher about my morning and she laughed and talked about her key losing experiences. Hopefully I will find them by 2:00. At least this gives me motivation to clean my living room. And guest room. And my bedroom. And Kims room. After that my whole house will be clean and ready for my in-laws to come. Did I mention that I have the best in-laws? We have a pretty good relationship and when they come here they totally take over the kids and the cleaning. I love it. I didn't used to love it...I used to feel very territorial with my kids and my house but since I never get a break (have I mentioned that before?) I love it when they come and visit. Plus the guest room is right next to the babys room so my mil gets Kennen in the morning. fabulous. Ok, wish me luck on finding my keys!


***EDIT***

I found my keys! I called my mom and even though she is in Arizona and I'm in Texas, I knew that she would 'find' them for me. She walked me through what I would have done after I got home and I remembered that I had them right after I came home with Sonic for the kids to eat. I decided to go to the dumpster and dig through the trash and voila! There they were...in Kennen's kids meal bag. Note to self..."Uh-Nennen, Uh-eys, Uh-aahhhhh" means, "Mom, they were in my kids meal bag...if you didn't friggin pick up after me all day long these things wouldn't happen." Either that or he's telling me he just pooped...it's a coin flip.

I am eating, drinking, and sleeping my vacation plans...

I booked a deep sea fishing expedition for me and my baby love. I called the marina asking about a 5 hour trip and the guy said that you will only have 1 1/2 hours of fishing with the 5 hr. trip and that it's good for if you aren't that into fishing but just want to get out there. That sounds good to me but I know that Jeff will be disappointed. Instead we are taking an 8 hour fishing trip on the first day or our little vay-cay. I have him as a fisherman and me as a 'spectator' because I really don't care about fishing but I am trying to be a good sport. Well, Jeff just told me that we can take home more fish if I am a fishergirl and that will make up the $30 because red snapper is expensive! What a good jew. Did I mention that I drank a lot of wine tonight? Oh...well I did! Anyway...fishing on Thursday and then dinner and...well who knows after that! Friday we are going to parasail. I'm going to have to try to convince Jeff to go up there with me but I think I'm going to hafta fly solo on that trip. He will stay in the boat to 'make sure every thing is ok' for the little lady. Whatever...I'm gonna be flying over the Gulf of Mexico.

I also booked my hotel and while I started out looking for the cheapest place...I totally did a 180 degree spin and decided to stay at a resort with an oceanside view and a king bed. Yipee! I am not going to get away from my children for like the next 15 years or so and I am going to splurge. I'm gonna parasail on Friday and then the rest of our trip will be boom boom, booze, and beaches. :) I'm such a happy girl. So happy in fact that I just called Jeff and woke him up (it's 2am in France) to tell him how excited I was. :) The nice French lady at the counter told him that 'Sarah' was on the phone and my sleepy husband accepted the call. He said, "I wasn't going to try to correct her...I might start speaking to them in spanish again." He knows no French and neither do I. Oh, and he says that the French really do hate Americans as much as the hype says they do. He says everyone looks at him with total disdain but he says it's just because he is an overweight chainsmoking republican American. Oh and last time he went to France he came home and gave an impression of a person walking around with a loaf of bread onder their arm. He grabbed the half eaten loaf of roman meal and stuffed it under his arm and marched with purpose around the room. I was laughing so hard I wanted to pee. Jeff has a way of really getting into 'character' when he is telling a story. He does a great chuckwalla. Oh I miss my baby love. I shouldn't drink and blog. I will probably delete this in the morning. NO! I will leave it to remind me to never drink and blog again.

Sheesh..I'm grumpy...I must be PMSing

Jeff is off to France to fetch me a bottle of wine. He's so clever. He was able to convince his company that he needed to go there for business but really he is just jet setting to the other side of the world to run an errand for me. :) Ok, maybe it's more like he had to go and he is appeasing me with the promise of French wine to keep my spirits up until he gets back.

Jeff went there last year and that's when he didn't contact me for over 24 hours. That's when I freaked out and hunted down his boss's email address (thank you google) and sent a message to his boss's blackberry to 'make sure that they got there ok'. Poor Jeff. That's what he gets for marrying a girl with a little bit of crazy in her.

Anyway did I mention that I'm going on vacation soon? I'm booking our travel reservations today. Tee hee! Kimberly's preschool graduation is on the day I wanted to leave for my trip. I am soooOOOoooo desperate to get away I thought, "Well, her grandparents are going to be there for her, I don't need to be there." I was talking to some of my friends and when I said that I was leaving before her 'graduation' they all looked at me in horror. It's like I told them I was making puppy stew for dinner. I never had a graduation from preschool to Kindergarten. I never walked across the stage to recieve my 'diploma' every time I moved from one grade to the next. Give me a flippin break. I'm going to wait to leave for our trip until after she 'recieves her diploma'. Whatever. I don't want her to be disappointed that I wasn't there. I guess that's a down side to living in the master planned community of suburban bliss. Our lives are so boring that we will celebrate anything. Do I sound like a terrible Mom? I'm not. I'm just burnt out and this is going to take away a whole day of my R and R. Instead of leaving Tuesday night we are leaving Wednesday night. Sunday is mothers day so we are leaving Saturday night to come home. I wanted to come home Sunday night. This trip has transformed from 4 full days of sun, sex, parasailing, and alcohol (maybe a little fishing too) to 2 days. You know what I want for mothers day? A fucking vacation.