Bitchfest

Guess what today is folks? Today is listen to me bitch and moan about how fucking pissed off at the world I am right now.

The day started when I woke up in a mutha fucking puddle of mutha fucking pee from my 6 year old. Quit peeing the damn bed! Actually...quit peeing in my bed. What you do with your own sleeping space is up to you. Damn!

Then Kim has the worst sore throat and can't talk or swallow and feels a little warm. How warm? I have no fucking idea because I can't find the thermometer. My kids think they are toys because apparently anything in this house that beeps when you push a mutha fucking button belongs to them. So yeah, she is home from school laying pathetically on the sofa and moaning. Ugh. I call the pediatrician and they can see her today at 10:30. Sweet! This means that I can have a talk with the pediatrician about how shitty I think she has been lately and how much it sucks to fork over $100 for the 30 it takes to scribble down a prescription.

Then we are getting into the truck and Kennen can't find his damn shoes. Granted he only has 2 pairs...but that means that he has completely lost 4 fucking shoes! In a last ditch effort to try to make it to my appointment on time, I make him wear Kim's flip flops. The little turd is very happy with this solution. He is such a cute little turd.

I didn't get my chance to have a heart to heart with the Dr. though. I was hopeful becasue the doc actually looked in Kim's throat. But then when she went to check her ears and nose, she waved her little lighted wand around like Harry Potter trying to do a Wingardium Leviosa. She might have flashed the light into the general direction of her ears and nose...but she by no means looked into her ears or up her nose. To call her out on her bullshit magic trickery of parents of tiny patients, I said, "Oh's she's been saying she's dizzy lately...how do her ears look?"

"Oh...uh she has some fluid but it's not a big deal." bullshit she has fluid in her ears. The doc didn't even look! Rawr! Then she whirled out of the room.

Then I drop off the prescription. The lady at Walgreens said it will be 1 1/2 hours. Fine. What-fucking-ever. I go back 2 hours later and she says..."Okay, just hold on one minute while I mix up the medicine for you." WHAT THE FUCK HAVE Y'ALL BEEN DOING FOR THE LAST 2 HOURS? Why couldn't I have waited 'just a minute' for you to mix it up 2 hours ago? Bitches.

And my dog peed on the carpet. Again. Bitch.