I have been down in the dumps lately. Two reasons.
The first is that i created chaos for my family because I mismanaged our money. And by mismanaged, I mean royally fucked up. I was terrified to tell Jeff and I tried to hide my gaffe which only made things worse. I finally came clean and he was surprisingly kind. I expected him to be more hateful. Silly me. He he must really love me. He forgave me and is fixing my mess. I guess I need to forgive myself. A self loathing person cannot be the best Mother.
The second reason is that it feels like lately things have been all work and no play. It's been a long hot summer and I feel like I've spent my days cleaning my house and entertaining my kids. A bunch of my neighbors have been on vacations while I stay and swelter in Houston. On top of that, my girl Laurie packed up and moved to Maui. Whaaaaaaaa! I miss her so much. She's my friend, my kids are friends with her kids, my husband is friends with her husband. :( She was a great neighber, amazing friend...
Okay I don't want to cry but there is definitely an emptyness since she left. She was always up for a mid day glass of wine which makes a day drinker like me feel like less of an alcoholic. Okay I'm crying now. I miss you girl!
Wait...im getting off track. The point if this blog post was to say how excited that I actually had a fun kid free evening turned fun night turned talking until 2:00am with a cool new friend. It started out as Bunko but we ended up spending the rest if the night laughing and before I knew it the clock said 1:45am.
Suddenly life seems a little brighter. I need to make sure I carve out time for myself. I actually like my kids today and am happy to clean my house.
Speaking of...it's a pigsty so I better get cracking!
Friday, July 16, 2010
Girls just wanna have fun!
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3 comments:
Oh my gosh! Your post made me laugh AND cry! I know what you mean. I feel almost silly saying that because I only have one child, but she takes up my whole day (along with cleaning and the dreaded laundry). I am a teacher so I feel like I really don't have enough time for her during the school year, so I am elated for the time with her in the summer, but the other day I realized that I have not been by myself or even by myself with a friend in two months. Not even showers, because she always comes in the bathroom to check on me! :) Anyway, my point is, thanks for the second to last line: "I actually like my kids today..." As mothers its hard not to feel a little less than like some days and a lot less than like on others, but it really is OK, as long as we recharge ourselves every once in a while and love them to pieces all the while, which I can tell that you do!! :)
I know my moods go in cycles. When all is right in the world and my life....and then when it isn't. It is hard to keep the focus when you feel that way. I am sorry about your friend!! My bestie that lives 5 blocks away just told me she is moving to Colorado so I know EXACTLY how you feel. Gone will be the days of calling in sick and sitting in the backyard drinking wine or going to Thursday night wing night or no more Monday night bitch session. :( Ok now I want to cry!!
Oh no! I forgot what I was going to say. Anyways, love the new pictures on the side!
Sometimes you just have to get away from the routine to rejuvinate or it seems life just isn't worth it. My wife and I are both managers and the stress that comes with the job leaves us needs R & R for at least a weekend from time to time. Glad you had that time.
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