Accidentally on purpose.

This morning I was so late taking Kennen to preschool. Jeff was sick and up all night and I was worried enough to sit and listen to him breath for an hour after he finally fell asleep. On top of the cough from hell all week, he had his first migraine and it was pretty pitiful because he was coughing, puking, and gripping onto his head all at the same time.

I was running late but my plan was to walk Kennen into class, then go get my hair done. I had my vampire book and I was looking forward to the silence. As we were walking to his class, a little girl waved frantically at us and said, "Hi Kennen!" awwww, he has a little friend. I chit chatted with the Mom of the little girl and she asked me if I was going to the Moms group that morning. I was like, "Moms group? What Moms group?" She said it started in 15 minutes so I went!

I am so happy with the group of Moms there. We really talked about so many things and we were having a very funny and open conversation. I think I was getting a little too comfortable. When the group leader gently urged that I could pray and that she said that my husband would eventually come to know Jesus.

"Oh, that's not going to happen. He's Jewish."

"Well maybe not now, maybe not 5 years but as long as it is before his last breath, he will be saved."

blink. blink.

I got a little candid here and said, "Well, he actually thinks that Jesus is just a Golden Calf that is distracting people from the one true God."

OMGoodness that was the wrong thing to say. Not because she judged me for what I said, but because she truly looked hurt. I was pooping on her peeps. It was worse than a fart in church. It was a bitchslap in church. The conversation rolled on afterwards without a hitch and it made me love these ladies even more. I think I wanted to say something sort of awful because I am a bitch. I am not goodness and light. I just think I was testing the water to see if I would still be accepted if I didn't plaster a spacey smile on my face and say catchy Christian things like, "Love letter to Jesus" or "My sins have been washed white as snow". Nope, instead I wanted to say things like,

"I wonder if Jesus is just a golden calf and we are all blasphemous. Plus, I want to be a Christian and I feel God guiding me lately (in fact I think he led me to this Mom's group accidentally on purpose) but can I still drink a glass of wine after the kids go to bed? What about before they go to bed?"

And they liked me anyway. God found a place for a girl like me to feel comfortable enough to stay. I'm looking forward to next monday...

Insomnia...

I don't know what is up with me lately! I fall get really tired early in the evening, fall asleep quickly...but then I am up at 4:30am in the morning. Drumming my fingers. Wondering if I should just give in and make a pot of coffee or try to lay reeeeeeally still and hope I can fall back asleep. Today the pot-o-coffee idea won. So annoying!

I could read my vampire book. I wont though because I'm on Breaking Dawn now (book 4) and I'm trying to linger over it a little. I want to make it last because I want to be lost in that little world for as long as possible! Seriously people...read the series!

Oh, I have a great idea! I could go for a run! Heck yeah, that's just what my restless body needs! Oh wait...I can't. Jeff is fishing. Again. He had my blessing last night but now I'm annoyed. I can't leave the kids in the house by themselves. It is times like this that I wish I had a nanny. I could never have a real nanny. I was talking about this with my neighbors last night actually. It makes my stomach turn to think of someone else with their hands all over my babies. But wouldn't it be convenient to have someone waiting in the wings...ready to just be there when you needed to step out for a 30 minute run. Or if you need milk but the thought of tromping through Super Target with 2 kids is just more than you can handle. Wouldn't it be nice to bring your nanny along to sit in the car with the kids while you made a mad dash for milk? This aversion to hired help would be completely different if I had a career I was passionate about. But I don't.

So this means no nanny. And long story short...no morning run for me. :/

Twilight

Apparently I am the last person to read the Twilight series by Stephanie Meyer! Well, that's not true. My running buddies haven't read it either but I am forcing them to read it now too. Can I just say, OMFG! I have the hugest crush on Edward Cullen. He is so damn sexy in the book. My stomach was doing flips while I was reading...who knew that a fictional vampire could have such a profound effect on me. Then...THEN I saw this movie poster for the Twilight movie coming out tomorrow and the Edward in the poster was so like the Edward I had in my head. Take a better look at the scary/sexy vampire front and center...it's Cedrick Diggory from Harry Potter! Except now he looks a little more menacing...and a little less 'golden boy'. That girl he has his arms around is his human girlfriend. He really wants to bite her but then his girlfriend would be dead so...he tries to be good. That's all I'm going to say.

If you haven't read the book yet...read it! Then drive back to the store two days later and buy New Moon (book 2). Then take a break for a day to clean your house, and then go back again and throw your cation (and money) to the wind and buy books 3 (Eclipse) and 4 (Breaking Dawn). And buy your husband a new outfit while you are at it so that he doesn't realize that you have spend $40 on books in the last week. Or you can just borrow the books from me. :D

I raced!

Saturday was awesome! I really needed that event to jumpstart my ass into a lean mean exercising machine. I have somehow managed to gain 10lbs this summer. Not a huge deal since I'm tall but I really had no desire to start exercising again. After running the race, I felt so GREAT! Like beyond great. I think I was high on endorphins or something. I don't think humans are meant to live such sedentary lives. Running is exactly what I need in my life to stay balanced. I had forgotten that.

Anyway, I ran the first 2 1/2 miles. it hurt. it burned. it made me want my mommy. But there were people on the sidelines cheering me on and it absolutely helped. My demise though was the hill. Why the hell would a mutha funkin hill be at the END of the race? Ugh. I actually ran up the hill but once I reached the 'summit' I was tapped. I walked for awhile until I saw the finish line and I ran in at 45:43.

What a great feeling! I friggin did it! The girls and I are toying with the idea of the Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving day but who knows. This race kicked my butt and I was a sleepy girl the rest of the day. I absolutely hate the picture above. I'm the albino giraffe in the middle. And that would be stampingtxmommy on the left and keikicakes on the right. I'm kind of excited though because I entered in my bib number at the race for the cure website and they said that if any picutes with my number show up, they will email them to me. Awesomeness.

thank you everyone for your support...financial and with your well wishes! Y'all rock!

Race for the Cure

This weekend I will be joining my neighborhood girls in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure. I just registered today because I am a huge slacker. And a broke slacker. But somehow the direct deposit gods must have decided to shine their warmth on me because I got paid a day early...just in time to register before 2:00pm today!

If you would like to add a donation in my name to support breast cancer awareness, please click here:

Hooray for boobies!

Oh, and please be thinking of me on Saturday morning. I will be running at 8:30am. Sob!

Couch man

Couch man is living in my house. My husband has the sniffles and he has been milking it for all that it is worth! OMG men are such babies!!! Okay so he does have a sore throat, chest congestion and his fever came back but good lord! Get yo' a$$ to work! Or at least fold some laundry while you are supine! Or is it prone? How 'bout cattywhompas couch cuddling.


Aww then he looks at me with his pitiful flushed face and I run and make him some tea with lemon and honey. Ok...I am kinda happy that he is home. Forget the laundry baby...

When I was young...

Have you ever happened upon a movie or song that reminds you of when you were younger? I just randomly flipped onto Romeo and Juliet (the one with Claire Danes and Leonardo DiCaprio) and so many emotion are running through me. Not only is it the ultimate tragic love story...but it was made over a decade ago when I was an impressionable and broody teenager. I loved the soundtrack...I loved the movie...I loved Leonardo DiCaprio (this was when he was still hot)...I loved Claire Danes (remember "My so called life?")...I loved the soundtrack and listened to it endlessly.

Ugh.

I am in a happy nostalgic place tonight. Peace.