Nothing makes me hate writing more than a writing class!

Rawr. I have been plugging away with my classes and I am starting to loathe my Composition class. My professor is okay. She was helpful when I was freaking out over learning how to navigate the shitty online interface of the college website and online book. I've been doing well on my weekly posts except for the most recent post. She gave me a freaking zero because I used the word "you" in my essay. "You cannot use the word you in your college writing." Okay I get that but giving me a zero? Fortunately she is giving me the opportunity to fix my essay and resubmit it for another grade. Fair enough. I think I'd rather have just gotten a C on it than have to revisit the shitty story and rewrite my shitty essay post. Blah.

I pretty much have to get all A's to be accepted into the nursing school I'm hoping to get into. It's a lot of pressure but mostly, it's really fun! I am LOVING my Anatomy and Physiology class. Sure it's a lot of studying and memorization, but I find it fascinating so it feels easy. Taking these classes is really reminding me that I chose my major well. My English class is a bore and so tedious.  It's the last one of its kind though in my prerequisites and I will be thrilled when it's over. Is it over yet? I fortunately did well on my "big" essay two weeks ago, and I'm actually shocked. I got 90%. I had the flu and I squeaked it out the day before it was due. I was so sick and miserable and my brain wouldn't focus so I took an Adderall and wheeeeeeeeee! The words exploded out of me. :D

Other than school, life is good. Kim is absolutely soaring in Jr. High. Kennen is...well he's doing well socially. His grades are atrocious! He's so smart but somehow has decided that due dates for classwork don't apply to him. I've been in communication with the school and have had RTI's in place to give him extra support for "ADHD". We tried medication, and while it did help him get his work done, the medication made him feel sick and he started crying all the time in class. He's always been a sensitive kid anyway, but the crying was out of control and it was affecting any chance he had of making friends. I stopped giving him medication a few years ago and the crying immediately got better. Sure his grades slipped but he was happy again. Now he's a huge 4th grader (5' tall. 103 lbs). He loves football, he has a few friends, he has a good heart, he's extremely bright. He might work on homework slow as molasses, but he understands all concepts without having me explain it to him. He's a great kid.

Okay I feel better after writing this post. I don't hate all writing...I just hate my composition class. Only 9 more weeks. I can do anything for 9 weeks.

queen of procrastination

Wow...this blog is pretty dusty. It's definitely neglected and I totally blame a virus on my shitty laptop and also facebook. Why take the time to punch out a long blog on my little iphone screen when I can interact with people on facebook? Every time I booted up my laptop, I wanted to throw it though the wall because it's so slow and glitchy. I basically put it in a drawer for two years and survived with just my phone and ipad for everything.

This fall I went back to college. I never graduated in my twenties because oops I got pregnant and wanted to be a stay at home Mom. This surprise blessing I speak of is 12 years old now and in 7th grade. We were sitting at the table doing homework together and she asked me, "Mommy why are you going to college now? Why didnt you graduate when Daddy did?"  Uhhhhmmmmmm, well I uh. Ahem. The real answer is that i got pregnant in college with her, but she still hasn't figured out that I was a pregnant bride and I'd like to keep it that way. My answer was still true...that I wanted to focus on being a Mom, but I didn't go into the details that I was obsessed with my new baby and was so gobsmacked that I made raising my babies my only goal.

Well, I've done it. I am so happy that I raised my babies...but they aren't babies anymore. Last year when the kids were in school, I spent way too much time waiting for them to come home. As summer was ending this year, I felt a heavy weight that they were all going to be in school in a few weeks and I was going to be alone with no idea what to do with myself. I was talking to a friend and she said that she was looking into going back to get her degree. Then it hit me that this was exactly what I needed to do and this was exactly the perfect time to do it.

I want to be a nurse. I have a few prerequisites to complete before I can apply for nursing school, so I am working on that now. One class is compositionzzzzzzzzzzzzz, and the other is Human Anatomy and Physiology. I know it's only 7 credit hours and I could try and I could cram in another class. I must get A's though...like absolutely must get A's to have a chance of acceptance into nursing school. I would rather go slow and take it easy over the next two semesters and have a flawless application, than rush to apply and risk ruining up my grades because I'm overwhelmed. I do still have 3 needy people...sports schedules, tutoring, concerts, etc and so far two classes is just enough for me to not feel like I'm drowning.

Whoa long tangent...I mean to just say that I needed to fix my laptop so i could participate in my online class and submit my papers. One day I fired up the beast, and with the help of a 13 year old boy on youtube, my laptop is now virus free. Yes seriously. I love the internet.

I'm actually supposed to be writing my personal narrative but because I'm a procrastinator, I came to check on the old blog instead. I was about to start freewriting for my paper about my summer vacation (hey all my kids are writing their personal narratives about summer vacation...I'm sure my composition professor will love the 35 year old version!). For our trip, I went with the huz and the kids back 'home' to Arizona and we got stuck there for an extra 10 days. It was the best series of unfortunate events because I got a chance to really slow down and enjoy beautiful magical Arizona. I miss "home" and all of my family so much that it hurts. Jeff and I have talked a lot about it and it's not realistic right now. I will settle for buying an acre of land in Northern AZ by my Moms cabin so that I know someday we will go back.

Whew okay that's all I've got. Gotta write my paper now. :D

The big dig and gunite

Last week after a deluge of big Texas spring storms, we had a huge excavator show up at 6:30 in the morning. Because of the huge amount of rain Houston has just received, the bobcat earth mover thing sat parked in the backyard until the project manager could find a dump sit that would accept our fill dirt. Finally at 10am the workers got started. 13 truckloads of dirt later and our yard has been transformed. Within two days, we had crews out to rebar the interior of the pool and another crew out to spray the gunite shell.

The guys did an impeccable job with everything but it hasn't been perfect. For one thing...the pool isn't deep enough. Seriously? I'm over 6 feet tall and I wanted the pool to be 6 1/2 feet deep. It's only 6 feet deep. The pool company offered to dig it deeper but it was after the rebar was laid and on the same morning that the gunite guys were starting arrive. Le sigh. I could have thrown a fit and stalled construction but I decided to let it go. I decided that if that was my big problem in life, then I don't have a problem. I also have an ulterior motive...I want the pool done by June 6th for a last day of school party!

Now we wait. I have to water the gunite a few times per day but they will be starting on tile and coping soon. I can't wait to see all my choices come together.

Diggy diggy hole!

After weeks of impatiently waiting for the HOA to approve our pool, we finally got our letter in the mail yesterday! The big dig is scheduled for Thursday May 2nd! :) Here is our "before" picture. Can I get a woot woot?

Summertime is near!

I am a sun worshipping girl from the desert. Born and raised in Arizona for the first 23 years of my life until Jeff's job took our little family to Illinois. I made a soul sister type friend, and gave birth to a beautiful blonde boy but other than that? It sucked ass. I don't like cold weather and being in a tiny farming town in the middle of nowhere was very strange. I honestly remember thinking, "I can't wait until my life isn't on pause anymore!"

Thankfully Jeff took me seriously when I told him to get me outbid that God forsaken town. He found a job in South Texas and I was thrilled! Hot weather! Desert plants! Mountains! Good Mexican food! Okay I was a little disappointed because as my plane was taking its final descent, the landscape was disturbingly green. There were no mountains. I guess i was confusing south Texas fir west Texas. oopsie! The weather was temperate though and I went through a Mexican food drive thru that wasn't Taco Bell. Muy bueno!

We bought a great lil house in the best neighborhood. It came with built in friends for me. My little babies grew up and we added baby Griffin. Well all those babies keep growing and now we have a 10 year old, 8 year old and a 3 year old. Suddenly it feels like we are busting at the seams.

There is no room for shoes (average 3 pairs of shoes for 5 people...that's 15 pairs or 30 damn individual shoes scattered around at any particular moment. I need a mudroom. Well I did the best I could and hung some hooks in the dining room. No office to file bills or tax forms, no room for a desk for the kids to do homework. The list goes on and on.

We house hunted for awhile and we saw some amazing beautiful big and brilliantly laid out homes that I could see myself in. However, my friends don't live next to those houses. These houses had pools and outdoor kitchens for entertaining during the long hot summer. But my kids wouldn't have friends knocking at 9:00am on a summer morning. We decided to stay. Make this house work. We have no family here and my friends are the only people who care about me and my family. That's priceless.

The point of this post is that we are staying in this house...but WE ARE BUILDING A POOL! Holy crap I'm giddy! It's not financially smart because we will never get a return on our investment but I don't care! I'm going to have a pool! In the house that I've outgrown, but on a street that I love! Ack!

HOA approval is on Tuesday and then the excavator comes! I will be tracking progress and obsessing over every detail. Stay tuned!

Btw, the pic is an Instagram pic of my daughter protesting us chopping down her tree. I'll give more details later. :)

Notes

Two notes I recieved today pretty much ripped out my heart. The first was from my sweet Kimmy-girl. She's not so little anymore...10 years old with 10 year old girly problems. There is a girl in her class that has been squeezing her out of her 'group' of friends. She yells at her, tells her to mind her own business, tells her there isn't room for anyone else to play etc. My normally sturdy girl...big sister to two wild boys...wouldn't take any flack. But for some reason this girl has gotten under her skin and it really bothers Kim that she can't play with girls she was really close with at the beginning of 5th grade. We had a bed time heart to heart last night on how she could handle herself. She could stick up for herself. She could ask the girl what her problem was. She could steal her boyfriend (i kid, i kid!). She could cut her losses and focus on a really fun new group of girls. She was happy when I kissed her goodnight.

I went into her room to straighten up after the kids were all at school and she had left a note for me on her nightstand that said,

                                "For Mommy Only. (dont be mad at me)".

I wish that i would just fit in this world. Maybe there are other dimensions in the world. The world is a very strange place for me. Mean girl doesn't like me. I dont want her to be so mean to me anymore. I am a really nice girl. I dont know why she does this to me. She has put a spell on all my old friends. I'm happy she has not found my new BFF's. I don't want her to take over my life. Next time I will ignore her. 

 Jesus! Heavy stuff for a 10 year old. I totally cried when I read it. Freaks me out with her alluding to not fitting in...not just the school but in this world? I totally cried. I wanted to throat punch another 10 year old girl. How could someone be so mean to my child. I know I'm biased but she is seriously so fun.

I went and met her at school today for lunch and told her I read the letter. We talked about it and she pointed out who was who in her old group of friends. I also saw the new group of girls she was playing with. They were all talking, laughing, having fun, clamoring for Kim's attention etc. I honestly don't know how bad this is. She did write it at like 10pm and things always seem worse in the middle of the night. Nothing like the sunrise of a new day to brighten your perspective. For now I'm just going to meet with the school counselor to get advice on the best course of action. To mean girls credit...she seems like just another normal little kid. I dont think she is the debil, but maybe she doesn't know how she is affecting others with her actions. I would hope that if she knew she was keeping a person up crying at night, that she would feel bad and change. Although...not everyone is rainbows and sunshine. I'll pray for her. >;)

The second note was from my 3 year old's preschool teacher. She sent him to the directors office because he was being such a little shit-ass. My interpretation of her saying he was inconsolable and crying in the hallway. He is such a hard and naughty little boy. I'm having flash forwards of more principal visits and exasperated teachers. Why o why did I get the most difficult child on the face of the planet? Oh how can I describe my little tyrant? He is independant, very driven, smart as hell, determined, alpha, pissy, sassy, etc. Basically he is a 35lb version of my husband that is stuck with a primitive 3 year old brain. Here is an example of how a normally good quality in a human being goes wrong when you are 3:

Independant: He wipes his own ass, but since he's 3 and primitive he unrolls one long piece, wipes, then rolls the tp back up.

I just dont even know what to add to that. I dont know what to tell his teacher. How about, "Yeah, I know he's a pain in the ass. Good luck with that." I have decided though that he has been extra bad after winter break. I am doing what is referred to as, "tomato staking". He has to be glued to my hip 24/7 because I cant trust him to behave on his own. If I stake my tomatoes properly when they are young, they will grow into tall strong plants that will yield great bounties. Dear God please let that boy grow up right.

Speaking of tall and strong...Kennen is tall, strong and beautiful. My simple child of the day. Thanks you for that buddy. :D

I'm 33?

Yup...33. I don't know why but I have big time birthday blues this year. I'm a girl that always loves a party but today I just wanted to crawl under the covers and cry. I wanted zero birthday wishes because I didnt want to be that cray girl bursting out in tears on what should be a happy day. Life is good, kids are excellent. We have been super busy with swimteam this summer. It's our first year and in all honesty my kids pretty much suck at competitive swimming. However, our team is so warm, welcoming and supportive. My kids are happy to get up every day and do it, and the coaches are the best. On top of being nice, our team is undefeated! I could have joined a different team that is closer to my house but I'm so glad I didn't. I just found out that the director at the other pool is being a huge bitch and actually kicked a family off the team. Crazy. Well I planned to put up a picture for your viewing pleasure, but blogger isn't iPad friendly. I'll plan better next time. Oh yes...there will be a next time. I'm over the time suck from hell (Facebook...not pinterest but good guess!) so I'll be blogging more. If you still read this decrepit old blog, muah!

My ADD post. :D

Hello world,
The longer I go without blogging, the more 'behind' I feel. I feel like I can't just give a regular old post because there has been so much living going on in my family of 5 and I have so much to say. However, I'm just going to step out of that rut and start typing about what is in my mind right now.

Here goes:

My beautiful babies are all in school now! Kimberly is in 4th grade, Kennen is in 1st and baby Griffin is in 2 day a week preschool. I must admit...after our long lazy summer, our new schedule has hit our family like a Mac Truck. We aren't even that busy by most peoples standards. We just have school and each kid is in 1 sport. Should be no big deal to juggle that, but for us it's been hard. A rough adjustment. But this week things finally feel a little smoother and that we can do it.

There have been some changes. First up, I am finally admitting to myself that I have ADD. I have always known that I am a smart person, but I just don't seem to grasp things with the same intensity as other people. It's like my mental list of things to do were little butterflies that fluttered and flitted around inside my head and threatened to scatter away in the wind any second. I forget a lot of things. Paying bills. Washing clothes. Appointments. Social obligations. That when I tell someone, "I'll take care of it," that they actually expect me to (shocker) take care of it. I'm not really hyper. I mean I am kind of a spazz, but mostly my issues are that I am inattentive. I realized that, for me, three children was my tipping point and I no longer had a good enough hold on my life and responsibilities. I went to the Dr and she had me fill out a form. She sat and chatted with me for a few minutes and then wrote me a prescription for Concerta. Easy as that. I am amazed at how great I feel. I feel in control for the first time. I no longer have anxiety that I am forgetting something or that I am going to let someone down. My time management is much better. My house is cleaner. I'm not overwhelmed. I'm motivated and I just feel like I am able to be the best version of myself all the time.

The reason I first even considered it was because Kim struggled so much in 3rd grade. She was so forgetful, wouldn't finish her classwork, wouldn't turn in homework. She would forget to bring her spelling book home. She would tell me that her teacher would be talking and she noticed that other children seemed to understand what they were supposed to do the first time, but that she needed to be told again and again how to do an assignment. Her school isn't allowed to mention that she might had ADD, but they did use lots of adjectives like, 'inattentive', 'spaced out', 'not concentrating'. I was a little slow on the pick up, but I finally took the hint and had her evaluated. The child psychologist was great and tested her on not only ADD but anxiety too. In the ADD sections, she scored 90% more inattentive than other kids and in the anxiety part, he scored 97% more anxious than other kids. For now we are not medicating her. She does stress and struggle but I'm working on coping strategies to get her through each day. She came home with her progress report yesterday with 4 A's and 2 B's. Im so impressed! She is proud too. She said, "All that hard work and all those tears paid off!" <3 Love bug.

Now lets move on to Kennen. Oh my Kenny boy. He also struggled in Kindergarten but got by pretty well. He is actually academically better than Kimberly but socially awkward. He has the speech thing still so that makes it hard to have friends and stuff. He has gotten to the point that if you ask him to repeat something he will say, "Oh nevermind." I think it's a way to keep from getting teased for his speech issues. Even though he is super smart and a great reader and writer, he is slllllooooooowwwwwwww. One day, it took him 30 minutes to write, "Read for 10 minutes," in his homework calendar. His teacher says he spaces off and his folder full of incomplete classwork is building up quickly. The difference between Kim and Kennen though is that he thinks he is awesome. He is really confident and is not worried one bit about his academic performance. He is in speech at school, but he is also in speech with 3 other boys in first grade that happen to play on his football team. He loves going to speech because he gets to see his friends. In an effort to preserve his self confidence, I had him evaluated for ADD as well to be more proactive than I was with Kim. Okay, so I will be the first to admit that when it comes to Kennen I do have blinders on. I understand him on a deep level and I think I pay more attention to his intentions instead of his actions. However, in that interview with the child psychologist I noticed his oddities. Like when you ask him a direct question, he will go off on a tangent that has nothing to do with your question. When you guide him back to the question, he will contradict and talk back. He also was jumping around the office...spinning and making shooting noises and fighting imaginary bad guys. Probably normal boy stuff but well, maybe not. Basically by the end of the session, the Dr. told me that Kennen didn't even need to schedule the 2 hour formal evaluation. It was pretty clear to him that Kennen has ADD or ADHD. I don't think he is particularly hyper but the inappropriate social reactions are usually a result of having the hyperactive version of ADHD.

By the looks of things, all three of us are just a hot mess together. For example, just us getting out of the house on time is a nightmare. The kids can each only find one of their shoes, they forgot to brush their teeth, I can't find my keys, Kennen cries because he is all stressed out, Kim has wandered back upstairs to look for shoes and instead plays with her gerbil, I'm going ballistic and yelling at the kids to hurry, and in the mean time Griffin decides to poop so I have to top what I'm doing and change him. Whew, I'm exhausted just thinking about it.

I am loving my medicine but I need to decide now on whether or not to medicate my kids. I think I am going to at least try it for a month. Parenting is a funny thing...before I was a Mom I never even believed in ADHD/ADD. I thought it was poor parenting. Who knows, maybe I am a crappy Mom and I've taught my kids my bad habits. Oh well though...all I can do now is try to give my babies the best tool to succeed and get past my guilt. Guilt only weighs me down.

Crazy Koupon Lady

My friend recently got me into couponing. Not just the kind of couponing where you save 35 cents on something that you need...but crazy couponing where you stock up on necessities (and not so necessary items) at deep discounts. I'm getting really addicted! This weekend, my total grocery bill between two stores was $577. After coupons I spent $311 and saved $266!!!!! That is with only this weekends Sunday paper...well actually I bought 4 Sunday papers. By spending $8 in newspapers, I saved $266. That's insanity!

Here is the beginning of my 'stockpile'
9 boxes of kelloggs cinnabun cereal
12 gillette mach 3 razors
4 containers of salt
4 boxes of baking soda
10 boxes of jello
4 bottles of All detergent
4 bottles of bronzer lotion (totally not necessary but I like it for my pasty ass legs)
3 cans of salmon
4 cans of pineapple
2 lysol wipes
2 toilet bowl cleaners
40 pudding cups
10 bottles of Fuze flavored water
4 tubs of Philly cooking cream (my new obsession)
12lbs of chicken breast
5lbs of ground turkey
3lbs of deli meat (Jeff doesn't eat carbs so he goes through a ton of meat)
12 bags of frozen veggies
4 bottles of windex
9 packs of cheese (some shredded, some sliced)
3 twelve packs of soda

Whew...that's what I had coupons for/store super sale items. I also bought the regular milk, bread, fruit, crackers etc to pack in the kids lunches. I'm still getting the hang of meal planning and couponing. I must say though that having a ton of meat and frozen veggies keeps it simple. Boring but simple. I just change out a side dish for the kids...tonight it was au gratin potatoes from scratch.

My goal is to save at least 50% off my grocery bill. I saved 46% this time...and I want to do better! Wow, how nerdy am I? :D

Vegas baby

I am officially going on an adult vacation this summer! Tickets are booked for flights, hotels, and Sigfried and Roy's dolphin show. I guess they decided that the white tiger gig was not something they want to continue. Hey, dolphins and gay men in tight pants work for me. :D

I'm not crazy about flying but my desperation for crazy fun outweighs my fears. Nothing that some early morning wine drinking can't cure. Jeff booked a tower suite. I'm not sure why because I'm assuming we wont spend much time in the room but hey...whatever floats his boat ;D. We are going with a bunch of other couples that live in Katy, but my long lost friend that moved to HI will be there too with her husband and kids. I really really REALLY am looking forward to this adult playground. There is a topless pool...could be fun but I will only go if I can wear pasties. There are roller coasters, pools, bars, clubs, dancing, and yes drinking. I am not at all interested in gambling because I never ever win. It just feels stupid and pointless to throw away money. Jeff likes it though so it will be fun to sit at a poker table with him. Oh! Do y'all watch Pawn Stars? I totally want to go to that pawn shop and buy something!

If anyone has advice or tips on other 'must see' attractions, please let me know. Mama is ready to play!

sparkly

i finally have a laptop! yay yay yay yay!!!

So crazy how technology changes. Three years ago I had a slower computer, with a shittier processor and less storage space for $200 more than what I paid for my new HP. Yup...I'm brand loyal. Harry Potter took great care of me in the past and when I went shopping, it was pretty much all I looked at. It just felt riiiiiight. Like a glove. Or riding a bicycle...or something.

My next job is to transfer my 2000 pictures from my iphone to my harddrive...and then I need to back it up to my external drive. Then I need to print and collate them into albums. Yeah, that last part wont happen.

I'm gardening now. I'll talk about that soon but now it's time to watch The Bachelor. Woot!

Must write

I must keep the forward momentum going on this blog. I'm just a few weeks away from a new computer and it will be gloriuous to type with all ten fingers instead of just my right thumb on my tiny iPhone screen. My thoughts flow faster than my touch sceen tapping ability and that my friends is why I've neglected my blog so much.

I need a vacation. I've got the wheels turning on making a Vegas trip happen this summer. It seems like the gods are lining up many arrows that are all pointing to Vegas baby. Check this out;

1.My friend Laurie moved to Maui last year and and she is going to be in Vegas with her family in July.

2. My other friend Sarah is planning on renewing her vows in Vegas in July.

3. I have awesome in laws that prefer to watch my kids without me around so they can over indulge my children without me bringing everyone back to earth. This means free enthusiastic babysitting.

4. I'm long overdue for a trip to AZ. I have nieces, and my Mom, and cousins, and grandparents that I need to reconnect with. Vegas is 5 hours from Phoenix.

5. The kids won't be in school in July.

See what I mean? It's kismit.

My plan #1 is to drive to AZ with my kids and spend some time rekindling my love affair with the desert. Then I wil leave my babies with my in laws while I drive to Vegas. Jeff will meet me in vegas, then we will pick up the kids in Phoenix and drive home to Texas.

Plan #2: in laws fly to Texas, jeff and I fly to Vegas for the weekend, party like rockstars, fly home to Texas. Skip AZ altogether.

Plan two is less stressful but it's been a long time since I've been back "home". Oh I just don't know. I do know that I need to see Laurie and that I need a break from my kids. How is it all going to play out? Not sure yet!

Getting better?

Yesterday I had my colonoscopy. Wow what a trip! That twilight anesthesia Versed is pretty fabulous. I remember the medicine being injected into my iv line and I was trying really hard to concentrate and attempt to stay awake. Then I blinked my eyes and I was in a different room sipping on some ice water. It's different than waking up from sleep. When you wake up from sleep, you have a sense that you have been laying there for awhile. Waking up from versed feels like no time has passed at all. So weird!

Anyway, my dr. said that I only have left sided colitis now, which is an improvement from my pancolitis a few years ago. I also had 2 polyps removed which is pretty freaky. They were small, I'm sure they are benign...but still. I'm only 31 and I have polyps. Eek! Get your colonoscopies people! Colon cancer is one of the leading killer cancers out there but it's so preventable! Quick...do it before Obama-care dictates that you aren't allowed to have one!

In other news...it's supposed to snow today. In Houston people!!!! Crazy! I'm off to crawl under a thick down comforter with my baby boy. Oh...except that he doesn't cuddle. So I guess I'm off to attempt to cuddle with my baby boy while he arches his back while scratching at me with his finger and toe nails.

Checking in. :D

Tonight I have the glorious luxury of having a laptop to blog on. Ever since the unfortunate death of my old laptop, I have been stuck on just my iphone for all of my internet enjoyment. I'm greatful for my 3g network and autocorrect...but it's no qwerty keyboard!

Lets see...what's new? Griffin is a happy healthy 18 month old. He's walking, talking, throwing fits and stealing everyone heart around him. He has a determination about him that I admire. He is contstantly having 'big kid toys' taken away from him but despite being told no a zillion times per day, he is still relentless. He wants what he wants and he never gives up. It can be annoying but I admire that and I see a lot of Jeff in Griffin. Self starter. Arrogant. Charming. All those things that make me swoon, lol.

Kennen is impressing me in kindergarten. Ever since he has speech/balance/development issues, I always assumed he would be behind. It's funny because I went into his parent-teacher conference ready to hear the worst. He is ahead of his class as far as reading and knowing his sight words. He doesn't need speech therapy anymore. The only thing he doesn't say correctly are his 'L's" but that is still within the normal realm of kindergarten kids. He is enormous! He is 65lbs and wears a size 7/8. He is very tall and lean. He has my heart as always. I don't have a favorite child...it's just impossible buuuuut. He's very special to me. :D

Kimberly, oh my Kimmy-girl growing up so fast. She has been developing her social life. I am really trying hard to fight my instinct to tell her she's not allowed to have friends that I don't choose for her. It's annoying when she has girls calling and asking her to play or sleep over every weekend. She's just a baby...a mere 8 years old...too young for sleepovers, right? Apparently not. I'm learning to let go just a tiny bit. She had a slumber party last night and I was up between the hours of 2am-6am and more than once I worried about Kim. Was she having fun? Was she warm? Did the smoke alarms in the house she was staying at have fresh batteries? Was the father of her friend a pedophile? Would she pee the bed and become the laughing stock of third grade? Of course she just had fun and was her happy strong self when I picked her up. No worse from the wear and very happy to have a night with her girlfriend.

The huz. We just celebrated 9 years of marriage a few years ago. I bought him a Coach wallet and he cooked me dinner, pampered me and bought me 2 dozen roses. I had all these ideas of tucking in the kids early, sharing a bottle of wine, savoring our steaks and salad. Instead we had kids begging for steak too, crying toddler, barking dog, and general pandemonium. It was fun. I love the noise. He has been working a ton lately...but honestly making more money than ever so no complaints here. So odd that I married a waiter and now Jeff is so successful. I always knew he was smart and driven...but yeah, I must say it's a nice yet unexpected bonus that he takes such good care of our little family.

Me? I'm good. My anxiety...which I may or may not have really blogged about in the past...is kind of chilling out. I'm not sure why. Maybe having a baby to dote on is good for my mental health. Please take note people...if I ever suffer some kind of amnesia or dementia, please give me a baby doll and tell me it's my child. Being a mother gives me a peaceful easy feeling. My UC is in the shitter. I'm swallowing handfuls of pills a day and I'm only minimally controlling my symptoms. I even met with a colo-rectal surgeon a few weeks ago to discuss removing my colon. I'm sick of the pills, I'm sick of the pain...bah I'm just over it. But then I went to the surgeon and my vanity got the best of me. I don't want an ostomy even if its temporary. I don't want the nasty vertical scar on my abdomen. I had three perfect pregnancies with no c-section scars and no stretch marks. I would hate to ruin one of my better assetts by slashing it up with huge scars. I did find a sort of famous surgeon in my city that does laproscopic surgery and if I did need a total colectomy, I would go with that guy. But I don't think I am there yet with my disease. I think the surgery and then living with a jpouch (a rectum fashioned out of my small intestines and hooked up to my bung hole) would be better than what I'm living with. I'm back on prednisone, along with my colazal and 6mp, and I'm feeling pretty well. I'm getting fat again though so I'm tapering sooner than later. Oh! I almost forgot...I have another colonoscopy on Wednesday. The last time I had one, my Dr. hospitalized me. i had the last procedure done in the hospital so it was easy to admit me. This time I am smarter. I am going to an outpatient clinic so she can't admit me. Muahahahaha! I don't have time for another hospital stay. I'm much better than last time though so I don't anticipate that she would admit me but just to be safe...outpaitent clinic it is!

Speaking of getting fat. I'm going to join weight watchers this week. Boo. Hiss. But it's time. I tried on swimsuits already and it was pretty scary. All of the sudden, my Mothers reflection was staring back in the mirror. Cellulite and all! I need to lose 20 lb's stat!

Wow it feels great to blog. I need to buy a laptop. I need to buy a laptop. I need to buy a laptop.

Cancer meds suck

My GI doctor prescribed 6mp for me last week. It's a cancer chemotherapy drug that was "accidentally" found to treat people with Ulcerative Colitis. Nothing else is working so and I'm desperate enough to try this.

:( it sucks so bad. The side effects are headaches, nausea, loss of appetite and fatigue. This particular type of chemo kills off your white blood cells, which I need because my WBC count is really high. I truly feel like it is killing off my life force. I'm so tired and I feel sick most of the time. I feel like a cancer patient. The thing about this medicine is that it takes 3 months to build up in your system before it even begins to work. I just feel like it's not even worth it.

Since I always love a bargain, I have to share this little gem with you. My medicine this month before insurance is $2600. My out of pocket would have been around $400. However, I've met my max contributions and now I can get any crazy ass expensive drug for freeeeee!

La di dah...in other news, I'm building a table! Once it's complete, I'll share my step by step pictures. ;)


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Good times at the GI doctor

As we speak, I'm sitting in the waiting room at the GI doctor. Two things of note:

1. I'm the youngest person in here by far.
2. When a man in the waiting room stands up and urgently asks, "where's the bathroom?" about 5 people murmured in unison, "down the hall...on the left."

These are my peeps yo!

Mixed feelings

My baby is 1 today...O.N.E! I love the person he's turning into but I am a little devastated that he's not a "baby" anymore.

Then I get a phone call from Jeff. He just scheduled his vasectomy. I'm mostly happy but a little devastated. He's afraid he's going to kill me of I get pregnant again and my ulcerative colitis flares up. I know he's being overly dramatic. I don't want more kids...do I? No. Maybe just one more. No.
Yes? No. It's just so permanent.






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What's in a name?

Griffin is saying words! He says "Dada", "Kitty Cat", "Guh" (dog), "Nana" (banana).

He also calls me "Bobo". Ah the joys of a breastfeeding baby. Hmph. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad he's saying stuff but I am more than a pit stop for a quick snack...right???

He turns 1 on Thursday! Oh what a wonderful year this baby has given me. He really is such a joy. I think back to how on the fence I was about having a third baby and now he has filled me up, made me and my family complete. Love this little dude. He's a bruiser. A sturdy little soul and seems to see the bright side of life. So different from his emotional and sometimes brooding older brother. He doesn't "dance" like my older kids did with music...he sings! I hear him humming the first few notes of "twinkle twinkle little star", then I sing it for him and he joins in...yelling out the notes and bobbing his head.

He's a good one.


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Kimmyism

This morning I told him that she was going to my friend Rhonas house because I had a doctors appointment. She said "yay!" and then she asked, "why are you going to the doctor? For your rotting butt?"

Yes kimmy,for my rotting butt. Apparently "rotting butt" was how Jeff described my hospitalization last year. Nice.


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Man card

Last night Jeff and I were watching the Bachelorette. I noticed that my toenail polish was chipped AND that the nail polish bottle was on the coffee table AND that Jeff was sitting in next to both my feet and the nail polish bottle.

I wiggled my toes and said, "Hey baby, will you paint my toes? I need a touch up!"

He looked at my feet...looked at the nail polish bottle...looked at the tv. He was quiet for a minute. Then he said, "If it ever got out that I was watching the bachelorette and painting your toes, I would have relinquish my testicles....so NO!"

Hmmmm I guess he's got a point there, lol.


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